Twelve, six, four, three, one

Sometimes my mind thinks things that I just don’t expect. My friend Chupa was over today and she asked me about this year since my sobriety date and my blind anniversary are the same. I got to thinking about the big momentous dates in my life and it struck me for some reason.

First I thought, six, four, three, one. Then I had to add my mom’s death in there so it became twelve, six, four, three, one.

Twelve years in September since mom’s been gone, in April it’ll be six years sober and three years blind on the twenty fourth, four years with B on the fifth, and on the seventeenth of February, it’ll be one year with Jayden.

When I think about the time between twelve and six, I can’t pull any date out, not a date for good, not a date for bad. I know my grandpa died in September between twelve and six, but I can’t remember what year. There is nothing I can pull out of that six years except that I drank. That’s it. That’s all I did.

Sure, lots of things happened in those six years, and they were momentous, but The dates didn’t stick in my mind. A friend died somewhere in there. I got married for a few months. I bounced around from house to house, relationship to relationship, job to job. Six years of nothing as long as alcohol was around.

Then I think about the last six years and what a difference! It’s night and day. A lot of tragedy, a lot of laughter, a lot of really awesome things even under the darkened veil of blindness. So much light shines through…

This was all just a bunch of fleeting thoughts that went through me and I had to write it down. I’m feeling incredibly exhausted right now, not sure why. Spoon thief I guess, and not sleeping well, and starting the day early I suppose. Just *yawn* haha!

I just can’t stop thinking about those numbers. I don’t know why they’re so striking to me. I guess because it’s all great material, as Dirk Hayhurst told me in an email. I’m paraphrasing, but he said that as a writer, there are no struggles in his life, just great material. So true, oh so true. I guess it just comes down to which wolf to feed…

Getting some great Sparks in the comments on this post. Keep them coming! I love it!


Filed under fellowship, gratitude, Jayden, misty eyes, mom, random stuff, sobriety, spoons

3 Responses to Twelve, six, four, three, one

  1. Woe that’s weird. For a while there, something significant, either good, was going on every year. I’m glad that’s sorta slowed down. That was a little nuts. I still can’t believe February’ll be your dog day anniversary. Crazy how the time goes.

  2. Ro

    I know. It’s unbelievable to me that we’ve been together a year. It’s just crazy!

  3. It’s funny how time really does fly.

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