There isn’t the usual purpose of this post. I know typically I have some sort of theme or a specific topic, but I just need to write a quick post because I haven’t been as active with the Doggy Diaries and what not. Today will be no exception, and I might not even get to an autism post today. If not, I’ll do two tomorrow.
I can’t really go into detail about what’s been going on with me lately. While my life is an open book in the public forum, it’s not when it involves other people. I don’t think it’s necessarily right to go into detail about other people, even when they directly affect me, not on a public blog. I can say that I have definitely been out of sorts this week. A few people have noticed that and checked on me, and that really warms my heart. Mind you, they didn’t notice from here, so don’t feel bad. I let things go a little more when I comment on another particular blog, so it became clear to them there.
Aside from just feeling blah mentally, I’ve gotten pretty busy. Well actually I should say that I’m preparing to get busy. Along with the normal routine of working out twice a week and keeping the house in some semblance of order, and taking care of Jayden, I started a free online writing course, well not really started, it’s kind of orientation week and I’ve been too mentally fatigued to go familiarize myself with the website. But that is looming. Every time this course comes up, JayNoi tells me I should do it and it’s never a good time. It’s not a good time now either, but when will it ever be a good time? I’ve noticed that theme in my life. It’s never a good time. Usually it’s never a good time for others, so I put off doing what I need to do for me, because it’s not a good time for others. But that’s a digression. Monday I’m going to a new choir, but it’s not really off the ground yet, so I’m not gonna write about it in case it doesn’t happen. If it is a success, I’ll have rehearsals on Monday nights now.
It’s baseball season, which is a good thing. It’s one of the things I can lose myself in and that is so good for my soul. Last night the Rays lost to the Orioles after another close game that we couldn’t come from behind to win this time. Also, one of our best pitchers in my opinion, Jeff Nieman, was hit by a line drive to his pitching shoulder after his twelfth pitch, and had to come out of the game. Our bullpen could use some work, and it’s not very deep, but at least they kept us from getting blown out. The final score was 5-4, and we won the 3 game series.
Today I’m going to a memorial service for a man in the fellowship who passed away last week. I didn’t know him well, but he was one of those fixtures. He was one of those oldtimers who always said the right thing, who always put the smack down. It hit me harder than I imagined when I found out he’d passed. You might say his death is part of my melancholy, but the general discussions I’ve had with friends about him, has been a celebration of who he was. He had over 30 years of sobriety and he died sober. He’s out of pain, and he’s giving them hell at the big meeting in the sky. I am glad I can go to his service and pay my respects today.
I will try for a diaries post this weekend, as I’m sure you’re all wondering how Jayden is doing. He’s doing wonderful, but I’ll try to go into detail this weekend. I can say that he lifts my spirits when he tosses a Nilabone at me or when he dropps to the floor for a belly rub, or when he just wants to cuddle and puts his head on my lap. He’s my own little therapy dog, as well as my eyes.
This too shall pass. I will claw my way out of melancholy when I’m done feeling what I need to feel, when I have the courage to change the things I can’t accept.