Totally random making

There isn’t the usual purpose of this post. I know typically I have some sort of theme or a specific topic, but I just need to write a quick post because I haven’t been as active with the Doggy Diaries and what not. Today will be no exception, and I might not even get to an autism post today. If not, I’ll do two tomorrow.

I can’t really go into detail about what’s been going on with me lately. While my life is an open book in the public forum, it’s not when it involves other people. I don’t think it’s necessarily right to go into detail about other people, even when they directly affect me, not on a public blog. I can say that I have definitely been out of sorts this week. A few people have noticed that and checked on me, and that really warms my heart. Mind you, they didn’t notice from here, so don’t feel bad. I let things go a little more when I comment on another particular blog, so it became clear to them there.

Aside from just feeling blah mentally, I’ve gotten pretty busy. Well actually I should say that I’m preparing to get busy. Along with the normal routine of working out twice a week and keeping the house in some semblance of order, and taking care of Jayden, I started a free online writing course, well not really started, it’s kind of orientation week and I’ve been too mentally fatigued to go familiarize myself with the website. But that is looming. Every time this course comes up, JayNoi tells me I should do it and it’s never a good time. It’s not a good time now either, but when will it ever be a good time? I’ve noticed that theme in my life. It’s never a good time. Usually it’s never a good time for others, so I put off doing what I need to do for me, because it’s not a good time for others. But that’s a digression. Monday I’m going to a new choir, but it’s not really off the ground yet, so I’m not gonna write about it in case it doesn’t happen. If it is a success, I’ll have rehearsals on Monday nights now.

It’s baseball season, which is a good thing. It’s one of the things I can lose myself in and that is so good for my soul. Last night the Rays lost to the Orioles after another close game that we couldn’t come from behind to win this time. Also, one of our best pitchers in my opinion, Jeff Nieman, was hit by a line drive to his pitching shoulder after his twelfth pitch, and had to come out of the game. Our bullpen could use some work, and it’s not very deep, but at least they kept us from getting blown out. The final score was 5-4, and we won the 3 game series.

Today I’m going to a memorial service for a man in the fellowship who passed away last week. I didn’t know him well, but he was one of those fixtures. He was one of those oldtimers who always said the right thing, who always put the smack down. It hit me harder than I imagined when I found out he’d passed. You might say his death is part of my melancholy, but the general discussions I’ve had with friends about him, has been a celebration of who he was. He had over 30 years of sobriety and he died sober. He’s out of pain, and he’s giving them hell at the big meeting in the sky. I am glad I can go to his service and pay my respects today.

I will try for a diaries post this weekend, as I’m sure you’re all wondering how Jayden is doing. He’s doing wonderful, but I’ll try to go into detail this weekend. I can say that he lifts my spirits when he tosses a Nilabone at me or when he dropps to the floor for a belly rub, or when he just wants to cuddle and puts his head on my lap. He’s my own little therapy dog, as well as my eyes.

This too shall pass. I will claw my way out of melancholy when I’m done feeling what I need to feel, when I have the courage to change the things I can’t accept.


Filed under baseball, fellowship, Jayden, random stuff, sobriety, spoons

9 Responses to Totally random making

  1. Hope you feel better and I’m glad you’ve decided to try some new things out. Sometimes thats all you need to break out of a melancholy state.

    Go listen to this song on youtube or something – It’s an older song but it always makes me feel better, music is my form of therapy lol! It’s called “Sing” by Travis.

  2. Fear not. The great and honourable Toronto Blue Jays shall take apart those dastardly Orioles this weekend. Hopefully those villains don’t see fit to attempt a similar maiming of our pitching staff.

    I hope the service goes as well as such things can, and most definitely good luck with everything else. As ever, you know where I am if you need me, even if all you’d like to do is yell about baseball.

  3. Hugs.

    I know what you mean about “never a good time”. I feel that way about so much. The only thing that I planned to happen at the perfect time was to have my first child. What happened? I conceived two, immediately, and gave birth after 7, not 9, months. So much for planning the timing.

    I’m sorry things are rough. I’m glad that you’re talking about it, however vaguely. You can always e-mail if you can to chat.

    30 years sober! What an inspiration!

    I’m looking forward to hearing more about the writing course, and the new choir.

  4. hope you feel better soon. I agree, music is the best therapy ever. music and walking the dog!

  5. I hope you feel better soon. Feeling blue, for any length of time…well…sucks.

    I hope you have fun with Jnoi’s course. When you mentioned it, I thought of my silly dream about the “Shitty Authors Conference.”

  6. Awwww missus it’s not nice when someone affects you. Some people are just nasty.

    Anyway i hope you feel better soon. Have a hug or 5 from me.

    Hope you feel better soon. I find writing things down helps. Even if it’s not public, you can just delete it afterwords.

    Take care, xxx

  7. Ro

    Thank you everyone. After writing this, I took some action. And things are looking up 🙂

  8. Ro

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. If that means what I think it does, good for you, I’m glad you did what you had to do.

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