That time I had a cyst removed

If you have a weak stomach around medical stuff, don’t read past the asterisks. I tweeted something about my afternoon including paramedics, lidocaine, iodine and sutures but it wasn’t dramatic and I got some DMs asking if I was ok. I didn’t mean to alarm anyone. It was really nothing. I had a simple medical procedure done and it’s nothing serious, but I’m going to go into detail.


When I had my physical last year, I had my doctor look at a bump on my head. It had begun to freak me out because it felt sort of like how they describe a bad lump in the breast. It wasn’t pea shaped however, more of an oval shape. At first it was squishy but it began to harden. I told Georgie about it and she said she had had those before and they were benign cysts, but it would be good to have it checked. My doc confirmed that it was nothing to be concerned with but if it bothered me, she could remove it.

I went the last year without it changing much, but it began to feel like a dull toothache and I was wondering if it might even begin to be noticeable, so I decided to have it removed. Unfortunately she couldn’t do both the procedure and the physical on the same day, so I have to go back for my physical. It’s actually rather good timing since she can remove the sutures then.

B took the afternoon off work to drive me which was nice because the ride I had scheduled with paratransit would have made it an incredibly long experience. After we signed me in, I handed over six scrub tops I had found while cleaning and washed. When I schedule my appointments, I asked if any of the women in the office might be able to use them. It was a little misty eyes making when I folded them up after washing, remembering buying them with Gamma and thinking about the adventures I had when I worked in medicine, but I was glad they’ll go to someone who can use them.

As B and I were sitting, someone came out of the office and let us know the paramedics would be arriving shortly and would be backing up the doctors’ schedules.

I didn’t wait much longer than the norm and really, my doc’s office is rarely a nightmare. They called me back and I cracked up as Jayden took me straight to the scale. I also love their scale! It always has me about three pounds lighter than the gym. I’m thinking the doc’s scale is more accurate…haha!

I only waited in the exam room about ten minutes when my doc came in. I just love my doc. She’s like hanging out with a friend. We constantly joke around and tease each other which puts me at ease right away. She injected my head with some lidocaine and that was the only painful part of the whole thing.

It was totally bizarre feeling my head go numb. She had to snip some hair and I asked her if she expected a tip. There was a student observing, doing her medical assistant externship for the same school I got my phlebotomy certificate from.

I began asking my doc how she was going to get the cyst out and she explained it would be a small incision and then she’d use curved forceps to work the cyst out from under the skin. I asked her what causes them and she said basically it’s a sweat gland gone bad. Ew!

It was so weird to feel pressure on my head and feel her pulling and prodding, but not feeling any pain. We talked about those people who have that disease that kills their pain receptors and ow odd that would be, insurance issues for people who need this sort of thing. She had a patient with a cyst like mine that had gotten to be the size of a golf ball before she had insurance!

Eventually she exclaimed, “I got your cyst out and I got it all in one piece. That rarely happens!” I remember back when she took some moles off, she told me she enjoyed those procedures, so I knew she’d be enjoying digging into my head. The extern said she was glad she could watch and I said I wished I could watch and my doc said, “wanna feel it?”

Heck yeah I did! I held out my hand and she put the cyst in my palm. Ew!! Hahaha! It felt like one of those landscape pebbles you might have in your yard, but like it was covered in silicone or something. I marveled that that was under my scalp and then was like, ok take it hahaha! The extern gave me a paper towel. The cyst didn’t leave much residue and doc said it wasn’t bloody. The lidocaine she used was infused with an agent that decreases blood flow. I was curious if I’d bleed a lot since head wounds bleed like crazy.

She sewed three sutures in and I was done. It was slightly woozy making, so I sat there a minute to make sure I wouldn’t get faint. I said I’d see her soon for my physical. Remember that professional crush I mentioned? Yeah it’s applicable to women. I just love her!

Oh the extern had also asked me if I thought it was worse going blind later in life or being blind since birth and I told her I just didn’t know. I love the fact that I remember what my doc looks like and my doc was like, “yeah I’m forever young. You can’t see the grey I have now.” I also said I had been talking with a friend about Monet and I was grateful I had been able to see Monet. So, there’s no good answer to that question.

B and i left and were assaulted by freezing air. The temperature must have dropped twenty degrees while we were in the office. I stayed in the car while he ran into the store and it started pouring.

I started feeling incredibly loopy. I wondered if lidocaine could make you feel stoned? I called Carol when I got home and she reminded me that I haven’t had any mind altering drugs in how long? Yeah. I then remembered when I had a tooth extracted when I was about a year sober, I freaked out because I felt the lidocaine and had to call my sponsor.

This time it was just fun and I called it a freelapse. That is until my head started hurting and I felt a bit queezy. Food helped the queezy feeling, but my head is really starting to hurt. My hair is matted with iodine and I can feel the sutures. Weird! And it’s flat again! Whoa!

So that was my afternoon. I got to feel a foreign body after it had been extracted from my scalp. Guess you can’t really call it foreign since my body manufactured it, but it was cool nonetheless!

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