For me, life is all about the silver linings. If I can’t find a silver lining to most things, I’ll go crazy.
It’s kinda funny how plans change, whether it be life plans or just plans for the day. While I journaled this morning, I remembered how I felt on this date seven years ago, hungover, trembling, terrified, stinky. I wrote about how I felt a little hungover this morning too, though of course not alcohol induced just sleep induced. I often feel dehydrated in the mornings with a touch of a too much sleep headache, but the feeling passes within a half hour of waking, unlike the hold hangovers.
I used to make myself wait until noon to drink a beer, the only thing that would make me feel better, because noon seemed like an acceptable time to drink. Granted, the wait was never that long since I never used to be an early riser anyway.
I love having the ability to wake up these days, rather than simply coming to. I love being able to eat breakfast and drink coffee without risking it all just coming right back up. I’m so grateful I’m not a slave to the alcohol anymore. I hope I can keep remembering how different the feelings are, because as the years pass, those old drinking days get hazier and hazier and I never want to forget why I don’t pick up the bottle. I’ve been sober longer than I drank now and that fact boggles my mind, especially since I never thought I’d make it to age thirty and now I’m thirty-three. I had certainly never planned on having to give up alcohol completely and sometimes I wish I could just have one or two, though I still say, what’s the point in one or two?
The silver lining in not being able to drink even socially? The amazing friends I have now since I got sober. My three closes girls, Carol, Chupa and Georgie, and my “brother” Kevin. I’d never in a million years trade them for the ability to sip champagne on New Year’s Eve. Hahahaha sip champagne? Really? I never sipped anything alcohol in my life!
I also obviously never planned on losing my eyesight on the day that I celebrated three years sober. Talk about crazy. I had taken the day off of work with the intention of relaxing at home and then going to a meeting. Instead, I went to the ER around noon as my vision slowly left over the space of the day. I saw the three year medallion that was brought to me in the hospital just before my eyesight left completely, and I had gazed at B, memorizing his face.
Hey, at least it’s easy to remember the day I went blind since it fell on my favorite date ever, the date I was liberated from the bondage of booze. Silver lining!
You want to know the two biggest silver linings of going blind? If you know me at all, they shouldn’t be hard to guess. My guide dog Jayden and the Tampa Bay Rays.
If I was sighted, I wouldn’t have those things. I definitely wouldn’t have Jayden. I suppose there’s an off chance Evan Longoria could have made me fall in love with the Rays even if I hadn’t gone blind, but I bet I would have just looked at him as B told me the Rays’ story, said, “pretty!” and gone back to doing whatever I used to do sighted.
Because of the Rays, I have an incredible host of friends on Twitter, one of whom just sent me a box with a Rays spring training shirt, the much coveted Game 162 shirt and a Rays cowbell, which was a surprise. The shirts I expected, but not the cowbell. I can’t wait to ring it later during the game!
This morning I had planned on doing laundry and at some point writing this post before the game. Even those plans changed, when Chupa called this morning to wish me happy anniversary. I was not about to cut the conversation short with her just to get the laundry done before it got hot. I know what my priorities are today and those are people, not possessions.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go edit this post and play with my dog a bit before publishing. I have to fight the new Blogger interface, so I need to have some fun first. 😉
Jaaaaaaaaaayden! Need to go outside? Yeah? Want your Wobbler? Ok! (Best silver lining ever. Would I give him up for sight? No way!)