Sleep deprived rants, rambles and nothings

*This is long*

I haven’t done year ago recaps the last couple days because I didn’t write any last year. Today I feel like writing a rambling post because I got no sleep last night and my brain is apple sauce and I need something to keep me awake to I’m able to sleep tonight. My wireless keyboard is being a bitch and I don’t know why and I really want to be on the couch grrrr.

Back on my desk chair and it’s kinda funny because I have a laptop. But using it as a laptop would require unplugging stuff. Kinda dumb, maybe I should get a desktop next time.

You know what’s gonna happen? I had all this stuff I wanted to rant and ramble about and now that I’m writing it’s gonna go away I know it. Maybe I should start with why I got no sleep.

Yesterday I slept till ten which is unheard of for me, but I did. Saturday morning the neighbor’s dog woke me up at 6:30. I don’t know if the neighbors are home when the dog is screaming. If so, how do they sleep through that? I think that started the dominos falling since I slept forever yesterday morning. So I didn’t fall asleep as early as normal last night. I think I drifted off around 11:30. I sleep with one ear plug in. Yeah, one. Started when we got Spinelli because when she was a kitten, she’d play with toys at all hours of the night. I mostly sleep on my right side, so I stuck an earplug in my left ear. I’ve just kept it up because I’m a light sleeper.

So in the wee hours of the morning this morning, I unfortunately had my non plugged ear exposed to the world. It would just happen that B would wake up and want a midnight snack. No, he didn’t have his snack in bed but our apartment isn’t that big so the kitchen isn’t that far. No, he didn’t make a huge snack which required the banging of pots or even the beeping of the microwave. All he had were cookies.

This is to the cookie packaging people. Seriously, wtf is up with your packaging? Oh, should I have put a warning on this post like I do with the Vomit Comet? I probably won’t swear, but this isn’t gonna be all oooooh cute doggy stuff.

So back to the cookie packaging people. I understand that you want your cookies to stay fresh. In fact, I appreciate that. The flappy thing on top of your package that sticks back down is awesome. My question is, will you please get an engineer to help you design a new package?

The cookies in the center of the package come out fine. The rows on the edges however, are crammed underneath plastic. The cookies themselves are housed in a very thin crackly plastic tray which the plastic bag covers around the edges so your flap has room to adhere.

Now, cookie packaging people, take your package into a kitchen that echos. Empty out the center cookies. Got it? Now, try to get the cookies on the end rows. DO YOU HEAR HOW LOUD THAT IS???? Ahem. Sorry. Didn’t mean to yell there. It’s just that when you hear that noise in the middle of the night, 3:30 to be exact, your sleep addled brain will go, what is that noise? That is not a normal noise. I must figure out what that noise is. The brain of the light sleeper will wake to find out whether the owner of the brain needs to begin fight or flight. Fire? Burglar? Ax murderer? Oh wait…no…cookies.

That folks, is why I had four hours of sleep. Unfortunately I couldn’t fall back into dream land after discovering what the noise was. I lay there for two hours then finally said eff it and got up at 5:30. Jayden was happy.

B: God you’re up early.

Me: I’ve been awake. I can’t lay here anymore.

B: Did I wake you?

Me: Yeah, cookies.

B: That was hours ago!!

Me: I know.

B felt horrible. I assured him I wasn’t mad at him; he didn’t do it on purpose. He called awhile ago to check on me, telling me he felt horrible. I told him it wasn’t his fault and to blame the cookie packaging people.

After talking with Georgie and Carol during hours that are normally very happy ones for me on a normal amount of sleep, I cancelled my ride to the gym because no way could I workout with no sleep. I didn’t want to anger the spoon thief even more. Luckily, I got a few hours of entertainment.

Here is the disclaimer I put up when linking to a Vomit Comet cast. Yeah, here at the Roof I’m pretty PG. The Vomit Comet isn’t. If you’re ok with that, then you’ll be interested in the following link. If you don’t like swearing and such, don’t click the link. I however, thought it was fabulous.

Carin and Steve recorded themselves opening the blanket, among other things. I was fairly awake while listening to that. It’s in three parts. It’s awesome. Now I’m like, what, huh, where am I? Soooo tired. Rambling blog whoo hoo!

I should hopefully get the other puppy pool winners’ stuff out soon. Hopefully.

Something in the cast, so aptly named ‘The Cozy Cast’ reminded me of something. Steve had a guy ask him once if he was angry about being blind. In the men’s room was where this question was posed. Funny. Anyway, I just got that question. A guy in the laundry room, upon finding out I haven’t always been blind asked me if that caused anger. I paused to think about it. I told him maybe in the beginning but…I was bout to launch into how my life is pretty awesome when he totally changed the subject by asking what my dog’s name is. This is the guy who asked if that’s my dog, the one I mentioned a few days ago. The anger question was so out of left field and asked in such a deadpan way, then the subject changed so abruptly, it just made for a strange interaction.

Ok what else was I going to write about? Listening to the cast gave me so many ideas and I knew I’d forget them. Oh! A thousand ways to die, I caught that show last Friday. Awesome show! It’s definitely a tv version of Vomit Comet.

Ok is this post just my response to the cast? I don’t know. It’s really windy. Like, really windy. What does that have to do with my questioning whether this post is in response to the cast? Nothing. Absolutely nothing; it’s just an observation. It’s windy.

I should put a note at the top of the post that this is long. Ok, done.

Oh yeah, the point of the anger question, as the guy told Steve was that “we” seem angry. Or, a lot of “us” do. So blinks, don’t be angry. It’s not good for your body. Accepting it sucks, especially when you go blind later in life. But as Georgie asked me when I first went blind, can you accept that some days will be harder than others? Yeah, that I can do. One day at a time baby. Don’t be angry. There’s enough anger and hate in the world.

Speaking of anger, Steve. Yeah you. You never asked me for a list of colors until you were all panicky during the cast. So now the people who listen think you asked me and I’m a slacker and never sent it. Yes, I said I was a slacker in the tweet I told you to read, but not in that sense. I meant in the sense that it took over year to get the blanket to you. But you never asked me for the colors. And also, while we’re on the subject of the panicky begging for the colors please hurry email would be great graniticness (I can’t figure out what that word was supposed to be so I’m just leaving it) of your tweets on Saturday, dude. You were replying to your brother! What was that about? Hey Ro, hurry, send the colors, hurry. Oh hey brother of mine what’s up, yeah a party sounds great. Wow dude.

Whoa, where did that come from? I was really wishing I could record after I listened to that. Because it would be so much easier to ramble in a recording. Now I’m gonna have to go fix typos in this thing and my arms hurt. I have Garage Bad but I can’t get the metronome to stop. Click. Click. Click. Aaaah! Holy wind. Like, major gusts wow.

What else did you guys talk about that had me nodding or laughing or nodding and laughing? Oh the tracking. Hahahahahahaha! Logistics. UPS sent the blanket into Canada then back into the states. I was tracking it and I got Carin tracking it and she had never tracked before. The blanket was scheduled to arrive at Carin’s on Friday. It reached Canada on Monday. So, UPS said, hmmm, you know, we told them it would get there Friday. It’s gonna get there too early. Lets send it back to the states for a bit to kill some time. That’s Logistics.

Steve, I said that on Twitter during the tracking. You stole it and said it on the cast. How dare you. Then you made fun of me for being addicted to tracking. Mean ol’ meany.

Whoa ok really it has been forever since I’ve done a post like this. Blame my sleep deprived mind and the cookie packaging people. I feel like I should talk about Verizon because I feel like a Bob Sagget comedy sketch without the swearing. Verizon. I might switch to them because AT & T bought T-Mobile. Someone on Twitter said AT & T and T-Mobile got married. There will be no reception.

Steve, see how I didn’t take credit for that joke? Yeah, it’s all over town. Scoop it out of the bay.

Lull. Lull in thoughts. Maybe that means I’m done. Wait no. So Trixie loved the blanket. I think animals love crochet. My cats sure do. I kept hoping Jayden would pop his head up when you guys said his name but he didn’t. I think he was happy I was on the couch to cuddle with with no crochet in the way. I was too tired to do that.

Arm hurts. Maybe I’ll edit and see if anything else comes to me.

Oh yeah, Alex says UPS just like Carin’s grandma? Was that who Carin? And tweeps. Hahahahaha. People, at least listen to part one of the cast if you’re ok with swearing and general rated R things. Because the thing about tweeps is too damn funny. Seriously. Whoa, upon editing, I had spelled tweeps as twerps twice. And holy crap, spelled it as twerps when I tried to write I spelled tweets as twerps twice. Wow. Twas the night before Twitter and all through the hwouse… Because if you say twerps, you’re a twerp. Tweep is just such an annoying word. Winning. Tiger blood. Warlock.

Hhaha blue. Dark blue. Black. Blue. Black. Blue. I think I see pink. Where’s pink? Oh and Carin, when you thought it said red, I think it did too. But Steve couldn’t keep his trap shut. Wow, this is really a post all about picking on Steve. Stweve. Twexit hahaha!!!!

Ok really, I think that’s it. I just really need to stay inactive yet awake. Awake because I can’t sleep or I won’t sleep tonight. Inactive because if I’m active on no sleep, it will do bad things to the MS. You know, I used to do this on purpose when I first got sober, before I knew I had MS. I would deprive myself of sleep and drink lopts of caffeine because it was a free buzz. A freelapse. This morning it was kinda fun, but now I just want to sleep. And it’s only 3:07pm. Ugh. Oh! My friend Erik is visiting next month. My best online friend of fourteen years who I’ve never met. I might see if he’d want to do a cast while he’s here. I think that would be cool.

Alrighty then, this was just a really bad post. But you read the whole thing…

9 Comments

Filed under Jayden, plugs, quirky words, rambles, rant, Sleep Deprived Fun, spoons, The Nothing, twitter me this, weather

9 Responses to Sleep deprived rants, rambles and nothings

  1. Jen

    Your mad!
    You really need sleep.
    The cookies thing made me laugh.

    That is all.
    🙂

  2. Ro

    This is the closest I get to drunk blogging hahahah!

  3. Glad ya enjoyed this one more. It was a good time.

    I’m trying to remember what joke he stole. I swear you guys were both making the same joke. But maybe Twitter gulped up a tweet that I missed.

    I love it. “Scoop it out of the bay” is immortalized forever. One stupid dm about the Wrestling Bay that didn’t stay DM.

    And I listened to that one again, and I think it said black, as much as I wanted it to say red.

    Yeah cookies are bastards at night. Anything with crinkly plastic is a bastard.

    Hope you can sleep tonight. Sleep deprivation blows the goat.

  4. Ro

    I joked on Twitter that UPS had to kill time so it wouldn’t arrive early, and Steve made the same joke in the cast. Guess I was giving him hell today haha. I had better sleep tonight. I can’t believe I made it this long. Got an hour to go so I don’t relieve Jay too early.

  5. Oh sure, pick on Steve. Everybody’s always picking on poor old Steve. But you know, old Steve probably deserves it because he spends so much time picking on everybody else. What a jerk that guy is.

    But I will maybe kinda sorta try to defend myself a bit.

    I didn’t take your joke on purpose. I remember we both said it in different contexts, possibly both on Twitter. I know I at least said it to Carin. And in any case, neither of us can really lay claim to it. Not sure who can, but jokes about things working too well go back yearsandyearsandyears! We probably both ganked it from some dude from the 1750’s who’d be some kind of upset were he still alive to complain. How about this. We split the jokes and 50 50 his royalty cheques…oh wait, anything he came up with would be public domain by now. Ahh well, screw it.

    Why did I email somebody while I was waiting for you to get bak to me? That’s an easy one, I think I might have even answered that in the cast when Carin asked me the same question. If I hit my refresh button, it refreshes everything. Email and RSS. And whenever the RSS refreshes, it slows the whole program way down for like 2 minutes or more. So instead of not being able to get anything out of Thunderbird, my Canadian Club filled brain though hey, might as well kill slightly less time and wait for just the email to refresh by itself…which, I should point out, it did….I think. Who can remember? Not me, that’s for sure.

    And where Carin thought she heard red, it definitely said black. I rewound that like 3 times. Even I wished I’d shut up in that spot, but you can pick it out.

    Trying to remember what else I’m being accused of. Oh yeah, making you look like a slacker. Maybe I did, but I don’t think I ever said it was a problem. I’m just happy we got the thing…you can’t rush quality. You can’t rush quality does not explain why the cast went on for so long, however. And if you’re a slacker then so am I, because my dumb ass didn’t write you sooner for a colour list. For some reason I thought we already had one, either that or I’m just a slacker that forgets things. I’m tempted to go with option B.

    Glad you had fun with the Cozycast. I shall now do what the aflicted would refer to as twexit.

  6. Ro

    Oh you know the old saying, pick on the ones you love haha. I wish I could come up with a response to match your comment, but alas, I cannot. I slept last night, but I’m still pretty blah. And damn I thought it said red.

  7. Ro

    Oh and I don’t think you caught my reference to the elephant joke, or maybe it’s not so funny anymore.

  8. I sure did. glad I wasn’t scooping that out of the bay.

  9. Oh I caught the elephant reference and laughed, just was writing quickly and forgot to mention it. The show I was watching was coming back on so I was trying to not miss anything. Remember, forgetful slacker is me…or would than be am I? I’m not looking up the proper grammar there, too lazy.

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