Kitty Tales – Spinelli

For the last few days, that white thing on the table by the couch that mom always touches, has said that the cats are gonna post soon. Ok. Usually when the white thing says something, it happens, because its mom telling her friends stuff. But she kept forgetting to let me talk.

So this morning I was gonna win. I ran all over the house up and down up and down all over the furniture and up the cat tree by the couch where the white thing is. It still wasn’t working! She was just touching and talking on the phone and then touching and the white thing kept talking.

So I started following her all over the house even into the bathroom. And then when she was walking back to the white thing, I jumped on the couch and sat where she sits. She didn’t sit on me though like she sometimes does, but anyway whatever, it worked.

I don’t know what the heck is going on with me. I don’t fit in places like I used to. I hang over the edge and it doesn’t feel the same. And I have a lot of hard times sitting on mom. Its hard to get my whole body on her. Sometimes if she has her feet on the wood I can stretch out on her legs, but I’ll lose my balance and have to dig my nails in her leg to keep from falling off. She doesn’t like that much. But she says she spoils me. She’ll just move my paw. And then after a little bit she groans and says “sorry baby girl, I gotta pee” and she loves on me before she makes me move, and then she makes these funny noises. She stands up all slow and walks all funny like her legs won’t bend. Do I do that to her? Its only when she has her feet on the wood. Hmm.

Oh and I used to fit right on her left arm. She would pick me up and I’d put all four legs on the sides of her arm and her hand would cradle my head and she’d walk with me like that. But I don’t fit anymore! I don’t like that. Now she picks me up and I have to move around to get comfy. This sucks. Mom keeps saying in her stupid talk to a baby talk that I’m getting so big, oh my goodness you’re getting so big, when did you get so big? I get it mom. Seriusly.

She’s been doing this really strange thing at night. After everyone decides where they want to be and she gets up and down to let Timmy and Fi out of the room and its finally just us, I start walking all over her and she picks me up and says up you go and holds me straight up in the air over her head. Ok. I’m in the air. This is odd. She’s laying there holding me above her head. I’m still purring though. Then she’ll lower me and kiss my head and up I go again. She’s so weird! As soon as I start to struggle she lets me down so i can walk on her again. And then last night she tried it with one arm! I didn’t like this. I felt like she was gonna drop me. Humans are so weird. Whatever though, she enjoys it, so I’ll let her do it, just not with one arm please. I don’t know why she has to talk different when she talks to me.

I guess part of getting bigger is this thing called heat. They kept saying, Spinelli is in heat. But I wasn’t hot. I just felt funny. I really really really really wanted to play with Timmy. But not just play with him. I wanted to do something with him, but I didn’t know why. All of the sudden, I was meowing all funny and sticking my butt in the air and wiggling it! Whats with that? I would chase Timmy everywhere and he got up on the fridge and yelled and yelled. I still can’t explain why I was doing this. Its like I was possessed! Dad totally freaked out and didn’t even want to explain to mom what I was doing, but she knew. And if they touched my back, my butt went in the air and I felt all funny. They keep talking about getting me fixed. But I’m not broken! What needs to get fixed? I guess Timmy is broken. But they fixed him. But they kept saying they wish he could perform to help me out. What the…I don’t get it. Dad looked up heat on that google thing. Duh. We live in the desert. You should know what heat is. But he told mom something about a q-tip. He read something on that google thing about cats and heat and a q-tip. Mom and dad were both grossed out and said that was so wrong, but they kept talking about a q-tip whenever my butt went in the air and I did my butt dance as Dad called it, and my sexy meow as mom called it.

I don’t know what got inside me. A spirit? I don’t know. I hope it doesn’t happen again, but I’m not fixed yet. Ok, I can’t think about that anymore, its freaking me out.

Mom still talks about that dog thing. And I hear the white thing on the table say dog a lot. And she’s been reading all about a dog called Trixie. Ok. So a dog is something that is also called a Trixie. The white thing talked about cats that don’t like Trixie. Are we getting a Trixie? If other cats don’t like the Trixie, does that mean I won’t? Is that why mom keeps saying she’s nervous about us and this Trixiedog? Will someone please explain this thing to me?

Well, I think thats all for now. I’m gonna go sleep somewhere. I’m all nervous now. I wanted to talk but now I keep thinking about heat and q-tips and Trixiedogs. *shudder*


Filed under cats, guide dogs, Kitty Tales, NaBloPoMo 2009, Spinelli, Timmy

6 Responses to Kitty Tales – Spinelli

  1. Gotta remember to hit the iframe link if I’ve been logged out of google. Otherwise, sluuuurp!

    But that post was awesome. Spinelli, I’m sure you will get along with your dog friend. It shouldn’t be a Trixiedog, since my Trixiedog should still be working. But I’m sure you’ll make a happy family.

    Eek…q-tips? Now I need to hit the google thing.

  2. R

    LOL! I wish I had had B send me the link to the q-tip article. Good luck, and if you find it, don’t be eating. Not because you’ll vomit, but because you might laugh petty hard and spit food all over the keyboard.

  3. Nice work. I’ve read some pretty bad versions of that style of writing but that was pretty great.

  4. R

    Haha thanks. I still feel a little silly doing it, but its too fun.

  5. Oy. I think I found your q-tip article. Is this it? God that was funny. I don’t think I’d be brave enough to try that. I’m sure I’d hit the ass every time.

  6. R

    I never actually looked at the article, so I don’t know, but I’m sure they’re all along the same lines lol. I could never ever try it, and don’t even want to read about it hahahaha! But at least now the link is here for those interested 😉

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