Is my humor sick?

I’m pretty tame on this blog when it comes to my sense of humor and the jokes I make about myself being blind.

I just found this blog: http://byesight.wordpress.com/

I love this guy. He is so incredibly funny and real about his blindness. Now, backtracking a minute because i just posted a link and I wish I could do those cool links that people do where I could say “kick ass funny blog” and it would be a link. Its been years since I dappled with html code and I don’t remember how to do it…so the link remains uncool and I’m not sure if its even a link or if people need to copy and paste it.

Anyway.

Sure I had plenty of kicking screaming crying in bed all day hating the world kind of days.

But I also made a lot of jokes and did silly things. That first day blind in the hospital, my friend brought a radio over. When she had arrived early that morning, she found me bawling my eyes out because it was so dark. A few hours later, I wanted to see if I could still line dance, so I was line dancing to the radio in my hospital room. The nurses got a huge kick out of it.

My first day home, my friend came over to help B remove a couch we had put on our back patio, which the apartment people wanted removed. I had been blind in the hospital and my main concern was how to remove the couch.

When my friend arrived I said, “Carl! Your hair’s purple!” Every time I see him now, his hair is a different color according to me. He is a lawyer and works in an office. He does not have magenta hair. But to me he does. He removed that couch, so he gets fun hair.

I have my favorite joke about myself in my “about me” area here. About how I used to think I’d never see 30 because of how I lived my life, and then I literally didn’t see 30. Yeah, it sucks not seeing myself at 30, but at least I don’t spend hours in front of the mirror noticing every new wrinkle.

Anytime I’m out with someone and they can’t find something, and then find it and exclaim it was right in front of them, I always point out that I’m the blind one.

When a friend was guiding me to a chair before I knew how to properly be guided, she said “ok” and I thought she meant “sit” so I sat. On the arm. And then on the floor. I cracked up laughing, and she burst into tears. Oh man, I’m laughing, she’s crying, it was totally my fault but she doesn’t believe me. I’ve learned now to always feel for the seat, so its all good, right?

In West Virginia over Christmas, I was crocheting, and B’s dad asked if I needed light. He felt silly, I thought it was hilarious.

One day B and I were eating dinner. I sit on the floor in front of the coffee table to eat, and he often reads the weekly paper or a magazine. We were eating and he shouted, “Scorpians!” I screamed and got up on the couch faster than I ever moved in my life and he had no idea what the hell I was doing until I said, “Where’s the scorpian??” Oh. He was talking about the band. Well, I can’t see. How do I know if there’s scorpians or not?

I was run into doorways, bushes, side view mirrors and who knows what else, oh yeah a beanie baby display once, back before I knew how to really be guided, and how to hold my cane for additional assistance when being guided. Everyone always felt so bad, but I’d just bounce off and giggle.

Seriously. Am I gonna moan and cry over every little thing? Heck no. Its more fun to laugh.

But I got to thinking, is my humor sick? Does it offend? At rehearsal on Tuesday, the director asked if I got my folder. I had already told her in email that I didn’t need the sheet music. She remembered and said “duh”. I mumbled, “Don’t need it, no use for it, don’t have a fireplace.” And the girl next to me who is a stranger laughed nervously and said, “You’re sick.” I don’t know her, so I don’t know if she was saying that appreciatevly or not…the week before, the director had said something about just going through the music blindly and I said “Like I am”, again to nervous laughter.

My close friends understand it. They know I’m not necessarily making light of blindness, but that I’m coping. Thats all it is. Its a coping skill. I choose the fun way of coping, instead of the old way of crying and being miserable. Or the most horrible way for me to have chosen to cope, to pick up a drink. Trust me, no one wants that. People asked me right after I went blind, if I thought about drinking. “Um, no. Then I’d be blind AND falling on my ass. And how would I know if I’m getting Heineken or Natty Light?”

Oh the best was right before my trip, when my friend took me to the salon for a hair cut and manicure. Side note: One of the things I love about being blind is I can totally justify having these things done for me now. Anyway, while I was getting my manicure, she sat there and held my cane. Then her brow wax was up, and she took my cane and pretended to be blind on the way to the wax room hahaha!!! Oh dear. When I get my dog, she wants to follow me with the cane. I just found out thats actually illegal in some states, for a sighty to hold a white cane and pretend to use it.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a little of my humor, because not too much of it has come out on here thus far.

In editing this post, which by the way is a big pain in the rear but thats another post, I thought about another topic I’ve been wanting to write on, the difference between blind, visually impaired and low vision. I’ve been nervous to express my thoughts on this topic because I don’t want to offend anyone. I want to say hear and now that it is never ever ever my intention to purposely offend someone. but I’m sure some of my views on this sort of thing will offend someone someday, so am I gonna keep it to myself for the rest of my life? Nah. So now I’m formulating my idea on that topic, coming soon.

15 Comments

Filed under Adjustment to blindness, Choir, humor as coping skill, plugs, silly girl, white cane

15 Responses to Is my humor sick?

  1. Ray,
    Let me tell you, anyone who gets offended by someone coping with life in a GOOD way, should be slapped upside the head!
    I’m always using humor to cope and it has even rubbed off on stoic-straight-faced S.
    If we can’t laugh then we cry and personally I would rather giggle until I pee my pants than cry myself into an ulcer.

    So you keep laughing and making fun. Some of us ‘sighties’ actually get you! haha

    That’s another thing… read above post…

  2. R, this might help: you can select any word or phrase in your post, then press control plus shift plus the letter a to turn it into a hyperlink.

    I think people expect us to be sad or depressed about our condition and if we’re not, they don’t really know how to handle that.

  3. R

    Hmmm, I wonder what the Mac equivalent of that is. I’ll have to look into it.

    Yeah I try to remember that a lot of people have just never really encountered a blind person before, so I’m probably kind of an enigma, in a lot of ways.

  4. Hello R. My name is Judy and I have enjoyed getting to know you a little through your blog. I wrote a comment earlier but I don’t see it on here so it must not have posted. This is a test to see if this one works. Oh, and to make this relevant to your post, keep on laughing and sharing your humor with others. Yes, some people won’t get it, but it’s ok … it’s you. I agree with you that humor is one of the best ways to cope. sometimes we feel like crying so we laugh, and it really helps. By the way, I’m a blink, not a sighty. *smile* Have a good evening!
    Oh, I think I know why the last comment didn’t post. I didn’t put in my Live Journal user name correctly. I put the whole website instead of just the user name. So, let’s hope this one works.

  5. R

    Hi Judy! Thanks for commenting! Glad you find my humor not sick tee hee!

    Sometimes I have issues with comments so I always have to make sure comments post. Don’t know if its a blogger thing or what. I’m gonna go check out yours now, and see if I can comment on a livejournal blog 🙂

  6. L^2

    No, your humor is not sick. I make jokes about myself a lot too. Some people will get it and some people won’t, but I think it’s good that we can find ways to laugh about it.

    Also, about making links: When you type out a web address in a blog post it is just text. Blogger doesn’t automatically generate the link for you.
    To make a link you can select your text and then use the link button. I have no idea how easy it will be to find with a screen reader – as far as I can tell all it says is “link” – but I can tell you that it is located between the text color button and the align left button at the top of the text box where you type in your post. When you click it, it will open up a dialogue box where you can type or paste in the link address that you want your text to link to.
    The HTML code to make the link yourself uses “a” tags. I can’t write it out here for you though – it wouldn’t show up as the code.

  7. R

    Oooh so you highlight the text and use the link thingy. I think I just need to play with it. Thanks for the tip!

    I realized today that I wrote 56 blog posts in a month. I think this means I like to hear myself speak in a synthesized voice teee heee heeeee!

  8. Hey R. I Actually used the LJ account because that’s the only thing I could use here, but I don’t post much. IN fact, reading your blog today inspired me to maybe start journaling again, and who knows? I may get a blog of my own, or just use the LJ more. Right now it’s friends only, but I’ll be hhappy to add you–not sure if you have used LJ but to be someone’s friend you have to have an account with them. Also, you could go to my facebook: facebook.com/judibeth.
    Congratulations on applying to get a guide dog. My husband Casey and I are really glad you applied to GDB. We both have dogs from there and they are, in our book, number one. Not that there aren’t other good schools out there, but the level of support GDB gives to their graduates is unparalleled. By the way, guess what my dog’s name is? No, not Sasha, but close, Sachet. *smile*
    Casey tried to comment too but he had trouble. Could be that he has Windows 7 and JAWS 11. I’ve had trouble with some sites on his computer too. I still use XP and am very happy. *smile*
    Look forward to following your adventures. I commend you for all you’ve done since losing your vision. You have a great attitude and that makes all the difference. It’s not always a walk in the park by any means, but humor and a good attitude certainly go a long way in making life better. And, being blind has its perks too. We get to play with all kinds of cool technology, and for those of us with guide dogs, we have a furry friend by our side almost everywhere we go. How cool is that?! Speaking of dogs and blogs, Casey asked me to give you his. He just graduated with his dog about two weeks ago, and aside from all his techy posts, he did blog while in class. It is:
    http://www.webfriendlyhelp.com/blog
    Happy reading!
    By the way, loved your post about the Melting Pot, bathhrooms., etc. Good idea to ask the waitress! Haven’t been there in quite a while, but when I go next, I’ll be sure to try their coffee.

  9. R

    Hmm I wonder why your husband is having problems posting? I don’t know how Jaws work, as I use a Mac, but one thing I find annoying about blogger is, I have to interact with the comment editor frame to leave a comment. And I always have to physically check to see if its posted, because it doesn’t give me a confirmation. Sometimes posts don’t post the first time on blogger, I’ve noticed. I’ll go back and check, and it says error or something. Maybe you can tell him to just double check and possibly re send? I know that you have to have, oh what is it called. Crap. I keep thinking “multi pass” from ‘The 5th Element’ but thats not it. Oh man, a google account but then there’s that other thing for like live journal accounts. Ugh. I don’t remember.

    Anyway. Hehe. I don’t have a livejournal account. I had one back in the day, but can’t remember the log in and stuff. I did notice that I can’t view your blog. Most of the blogs I follow are here on blogger and it adds updates to my reading list, which I really like. I had a gmail account, so I wa able to create this blog without help. I did notice that when trying to add a second, it suddenly asked for word verification, which I hate.

    You are so right about getting to play with cool stuff. I taught myself the Apple computer because I didn’t want to wait for Jaws. I have a talking phone now, and I want the Victor Reader Stream. So much cool stuff!

    I can’t wait to read your husband’s blog. When were you at school? What campus did you go to? I can’t believe your dog’s name is almost Sasha haha!!

    I’m pretty much a blogger addict, so I post A LOT. 😉

  10. I went to the San Rafael campus, back in Sept. of 2005. I can’t believe it’s been four years since that life-changing event. Sachet is a female black lab, and she’s sooo darn cute and smart! I love her to pieces.

  11. You go ahead and keep making jokes about blindness. That’s what I do when people are all nervous about the whole thing. It really does help. The one I used to always do when I was a kid, until it became a groaner, was we’d be getting ready to watch a video, and the teacher would say “Raise your hand if you can’t see the TV.” So I’d put my hand up. Har har har I kill me. The only thing I can say is make it obvious that it’s a joke and not a strange depressing take on life. Laugh at your own joke a little so they know you’re kidding. It will break the ice.

    As for links, I just write my whole blog post in notepad…hmmm…what’s the apple equivalent? Is it text edit? What is it?! Any old plane text editor will do. So when you want to make a link, the code is whatever you want the link to say So, let me write that out in words. less-than a href equals quote http colon slash slash http://www.whateverthelinkis.com quote greater-than whatever you want the link to say less-than slash a greater-than

    and href is h r e f. I don’t know how much you can manipulate voiceover to spell on a website. I played with it when it was in Tiger, but I don’t know from Leopard. Does that help?

    Oh, and your comments are set to moderated. Perhaps that’s why they don’t show up right away. They’re awaiting your approval. Did you do that on purpose? I am very very thankfully that you didn’t wind up with those captcha things, i.e. “fill in the numbers and letters you see here.” It can be done, there are tools…which reminds me. Is there a mac version of Firefox? Cause I’d recommend you get some WebVisum. It’s a tool for solving those stupid letter-number-fuzz-messes. If you end up finding a firefox for mac and want WebVisum, give me a yell and I’ll give you an invite code.

  12. R

    Haha! I did that at choir last week. The director said something, “shift around if you can’t see me” and I just giggled. The giggle was the joke in itself and everyone giggled around me.

    Thanks for all that code, I knew it was a href something. I can “zoom” in on text with Alex so I can go charactor by charactor. The word pad equivalne tis text edit. Why do you write your posts in word pad first? I think we can use Firefox, and another blogger recommended that captcha solving program. I am stubborn; I don’t think I should need a stupid program. But I’ll probably get it. Oh and yes, I set moderation on purpose. Its something to do when I reply, it has an error and I have to go back to the comment frame and check to see if its there and re-send. Kind of a pain.

  13. I think it’s a throwback to when a. IE didn’t have multiple tabs and b. blogger used to have an affinity for gorking code. So I said take that and shove it, I’ll just paste and post.

    Really, WebVisum doesn’t make you feel like it’s a stupid program. It feels so good to just go solve! then wait a few seconds and the result is in your clipboard and you just paste it in. It’s so easy…it’s like…eyeballs in Firefox at your beck and call!

  14. I’m so happy to have come across your blog, R! I started at the beginning and am reading every single post. I’m almost caught up!

    I wanted to make so many comments along the way but wanted to introduce myself first. My family is raising Cabana for Guide Dogs for the Blind. We’re first time raisers, and Cabana is a rambunctious 12 month old yellow female lab.

    I love your humor and your writing style. You are a GREAT writer. I appreciate your honesty and candor. And although I am so sorry for your loss of sight, I think somehow, you are going to rock this world because of it. Can’t wait to get caught up on your blog and to hear your story unfold.

    Although I am a sighty (that term cracked me up), I love listening to audiobooks. Just wanted to recommend Frank McCourt’s books to you (Angela’s Ashes, Tis, and Teacher Man). Your writing style reminds me so much of his. He narrates his books himself, and with his charming Irish accent and hilariously understated delivery, I would recommend that everyone listen to them, rather than read them themselves.

  15. R

    Hiya! I think I’m subscribed to your blog. The name Cabana is very familiar. And wow, I loved Angela’s Ashes, thought I read it in print years ago. I’m honored that my writing reminded you of McCourt, wow…I’m gonna go make a suggested books post, since thats how I’m keeping track. Thank you!

    Sounds like you do the same thing I do. I tend to read everything I can on new blogs I find, and I told one author I was reading it all until she told me she started back in 2004…oh….haha!

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