I always felt safe on base

I have a feeling this post will lead to a rant and really show my views on politics, even though I hadn’t planned on talking about that much.

Yesterday at Fort Hood, a member of the military went on a shooting rampage.

Carol called to tell me about it. Months ago I quit listening to talk radio because I couldn’t get out of my depression. I listened to Harry Potter over and over to get out of that funk. I rarely know whats going on in the world anymore. Its all bad bad and more bad. Usually I hear about news when someone posts on Facebook and then I go look up the story.

I never would have known about it since no one is posting about it on Facebook, which shocks me. I was so tempted to write a status update saying; “Want to take bets on how quickly someone posts that this is all Obama’s fault?” Because sometimes there’s updates like that. But I learned after the last time I posted on someone’s update that the crazy opinions from others just pissed me off, so I stayed silent.

But I just can’t on here. I will say right now that I don’t know many details. I heard snippets on msnbc about how maybe it was a terrorist act blah blah blah. They also said the shooter was dead, but he’s not.

the shooter is a psychiatrist trained in helping the guys with their ptsd when they come back from this useless and stupid and pointless war that started over the so-called weapons of mass destruction. The war that was started during the 8 year reign of the president that ran this country into the ground.

Those are my personal opinions. I will not debate on here. I am writing this because this is what I am feeling, and feel free to state your opinions, but I’m not engaging in a debate. Not saying any of you will want to engage in debate, but I’m just sayin. Thats not the purpose of my post.

I never agreed with this war. I worked on the air force base here as the war was started. I was a civilian contractor doing all the pre deployment blood draws for the troops. When the attcks first started, everyone watched on the computers and hooted and hollered. I didn’t know what to think. The military people never said what their personal views were, but I could tell some didn’t like it, yet they still cheered when something was blown up.

I always felt like I had the safest job in the world.

There is a a contract that Saavi has with the base here, where blind people work at a call center, and connect the troops with their family members by phone. I thought, wow what an amazing job. And it is. And I’m interested for down the road when I have a dog. But will it be safe?

I know the shooting yesterday has nothing to do with all military bases. But I understand why he did it.

I don’t condone it, but I understand it.

This guy has listened to horror stories for how long? His job is to try and help these guys when they come back from the war. He has heard horrid tales of guys seeing death, watching friends get blown up, and God only knows what else.

He doesn’t want to go over there. He’s terrified. He knows what its like, having heard it from countless men and women who have experienced it first hand.

Then he gets a deployment notice.

I have to wonder, what would I do? I would hope to god I wouldn’t go on a shooting rampage, but what would I do?

They keep making sure we know he is a U.S. citizen of Jordanian descent, and his last name is Hasan. So of course its terrorism right? Yeah. Because he’s of Jordanian decent and his last name is Hasan. Nevermind that he and his family were born in Virginia.

Just like, oh if we elect Obama, he’ll bring the terrorist here. What?? Oooooh….and you wonder why I quit listening to the talking heads.

Even if I only listen to the radio shows that share my views, I still have to hear this other stuff.

I read somewhere that Hasan shouted some kind of war cry before he started shooting. Right.

I think he snapped. I think he just snapped. And again I have to ask myself what I would do if for years I heard first hand war stories and then was told I had to go over there. Now, I’m not enlisted. I don’t understand the committment. I completely respect it. I completely respect the troops. But I can’t possibly relate to the vow taken as someone joining the military. I know they know what might be in store. But are they ever prepared for when it actually is right in front of them?

Not to mention the complete lack of mental health care in this country. Its hard enough for an average person with a mental illness to get the help they need, now we’re adding service men and women with war induced mental illness and who is helping them? And who is helping the people who are helping them? Did this psychiatrist have someone to help HIM with all this horror?

I’m not sympathizing with what he did. I don’t think there is justified murder. But I can empathize with why he snapped.

This whole thing makes me sick. the families of the dead and wounded. They think their loved one is safe here in the states, and a member of their own military is responsible for killing or maiming them.

I am scared. I am scared for the future of the world. I am scared for my country’s e economy and security. I’m just scared.

I purposely avoid current events for my own mental health. I face it when I have to, and this is one of those times.

Ignorance is bliss? Well, yeah, except when you always still know whats really going on out there, no matter how much you try to avoid it.

I have no main point. I just had to write. I love my country. I support the president. I absolutely love admire and respect the troops. I am sad.
Ok, gonna have to get back to puppies and cats and guide dogs and nothings. Ugh.

4 Comments

Filed under in the news, NaBloPoMo 2009, politics, rant

4 Responses to I always felt safe on base

  1. I live not far from Fort Hood because my husband was and will be stationed there. I, too, think that this war was a massive mistake. I, too, had come to feel safe on base.

    Thanks for talking about the tragedy. It’s felt like only people with loved ones in the military have even mentioned it (except for the wonderful friends who’ve called to make sure we’re okay).

    I’ve posted my own opinions. I, too, try to keep politics off my blog. 🙂

    I love your blog, and your honesty.

  2. R

    Thank you Sadia, I’m going to go check out what you said too. I absolutely love the military. I love the way they do things, I love the respect for authority and I love the love that military people feel for their country. The brief job I had on base was the best I ever had.

    Is it true that the troops get offended when we say the war is pointless? On a radio show once, someone called in and said that by saying the war is pointless, we’re disparaging the troops. But thats not it at all! For me, having our people die for this thing is what is pointless, so for me its all about the troops.

    Oh, I’m not awake enough to think straight on this right now 😉

  3. Not every soldier has the same opinion. They are required to be careful about what they say, because they recognize that what one soldier says is heard to speak for the entire Armed Forces. However, although the army tends to be politically conservative, and although the Commander in Chief, to whom they have deep loyalty, is also the President, there is as much of a range of political ideology and opinions about the war within the army as outside it.

    Yes, there are individual soldiers who are offended by the statement that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are pointless. They are likely in the majority. Many soldiers have a hard time hearing that they are putting their lives at risk for nothing.

    There are soldiers out there, though, who are critical of the wars. I know two very well. A coworker left the army because he didn’t want to have anything to do with the Bush administration and their military policy. My husband didn’t think that the Iraq war was a mistake when it started, but now takes a stance that it’s a mess of American creation, and it’s an American responsibility to clean it up as much as is possible. Going to war is simply a job to him; he puts his politics aside and concentrates on the job at hand, which is keeping his men alive.

  4. R

    It is so hard to express views on the war while keeping the respect of the soldiers involved. I certainly would never want any of them to think that risking their lives is pointless. I also agree with your husband, that this mess needs to be cleaned up. Not for the evi doers “over there” but for the innocents. I think of that movie, Three Kings, is that what it was called? With George Cloony? The representation of the innocents there, how their world got turned upside down by our trying to help, and then we just left. I’m glad we’re not repeating that.

    What I don’t understand is how we went over there and focused on Hussein and not Bin Laden. I’m glad we got Hussein, but was it the lesser of two evils? That is what is hard to stomach for me. That our people are dying and we’re not even getting Bin Laden.

    Oh its so hard to separate politics from the job at hand. Sometimes I really wish we knew more about the troops and how they feel, but I understand the secrecy also.

    I just wish there was a forumla for supporting the soldiers. Because I certainly support them. I don’t think the job they are doing is pointless. It has just all turned into a terrible mess, one with seemingly no end.

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