I know it’s exciting to buy the matching memory foam back cushion to your awesome memory foam bum cushion. You’re excited to put it on the chair and start getting used to it. This is all perfectly fine if it’s the only thing you’re doing, but the chance of an accident increases the more things you have on your mind.
Example 1: Your labrador knows it’s almost dinner time and you’ve just gotten back from the quick errand in buying the back cushion. Your dog is, as a result, at your feet and jumping up every time you move. Trying to strap on the back cushion and ignore your dog is challenging, especially when you really, really love your dog.
Example 2: You are waiting for your man to call to ask you what kind of soup you want after he’s made the salads he’s buying for dinner at Sweet Tomatoes. The fact that the phone might ring any minute has you distracted and you’re hoping you’ll get the back cushion on in time to feed and relieve your dog before dinner arrives.
Example 3: You really shouldn’t go all day without eating. Being hungry always, always magnifies clumsiness and brain fog.
Just one of those three examples are really all you need to equal a disaster, especially if you’ve left a full cup of coffee on the coffee table. Next to your wireless keyboard. And your wireless headphones. And your iPhone.
Now, it’s possible that if you hadn’t been so distracted, you would remember where the coffee cup was when you heard your man’s ringtone. Then again maybe not. And it won’t matter if you use a fat travel mug with a lid on it, because the force with which you’ll hit the cup with your arm while kneeling near the table fastening the back cushion will pop the lid off, spilling your entire cup of coffee on the aforementioned electronics. It will be a good thing, you’ll think later, that the cup had sat awhile and was only slightly warm.
Don’t bother double tapping your iPhone to answer the call. If the screen is warm with coffee, it won’t register. Quickly rub the phone on the leg of your jeans, your expensive jeans, to dry the screen. Who cares about the coffee stain, your phone is more important. Answer the call.
If you have a home phone, don’t panic that he sounds like he’s talking under water, or coffee. Well, it’s ok to panic a little. Simply call him back on the home phone and settle on the same soup you had last time. You’ll be too worried about electronics to care about soup.
After you hang up, don’t bother with paper towels. No really. Are you listening? Get a bath towel. Just trust me. Also, if you feel tears welling up in your eyes, give yourself a pep talk as you grab the bath towel. Say this to yourself. “Don’t cry, just don’t cry. Crying won’t help anything. Just clean this up.” You’ll think you’re silly but it works. Tears won’t come and you’ll perform more efficiently.
Don’t be surprised when you turn the wireless keyboard over and hear coffee pouring out of it. Spread the towel down on the table and lay your keyboard upside down on the cloth. It’s ok to test if it still works, since you’ll want to turn it off. You’ll be amazed when it works. You’ll test it later, after you’ve left it to dry on a paper towel. Paper towels work ok for this part of the scenario.
You might find that you can wring coffee out of the ear cushions on your wireless headphones. Make sure they’re off and gently squeeze with the towel. Hang them to dry on your desk.
Don’t be alarmed that your iPhone still smells of coffee after you’ve dried it. It should work fine, as long as you dry it off quickly, which you did while picking soup using the home phone.
Feed your dog, take him outside, enjoy your dinner when it arrives. If you’ve been nursing a back injury, lean on the heating pad while you eat since you’ll probably feel a new pull after racing around the house in a panic grabbing a towel after paper towels did nothing.
After your belly is full, test your iPhone some more after eating. Breathe a sigh of relief that you can hear phone calls. Test your wireless headphones. It would be a good idea to turn them on before they’re on your head or else you might scare yourself as you flip the switch. It’ll most likely turn out ok, but you never know.
Fool around with your seat cushion some more and begin writing a blog post. Consider checking your keyboard, but make the wise choice and let it dry upside down overnight. It did work after you poured coffee out of it, but it’s better safe than sorry.
Thank your lucky stars that so far, everything is ok with your beloved electronics and your Macbook wasn’t on the coffee table, otherwise you’d be returning the back cushion and selling your soul to afford new devices.