Edit: I just heard from my therapist. Her fax machine was down. So she’s calling GDB right now to have them re-send. One down, one to go.
I was in a bad mood in the post right before this one. I’m in limbo. I don’t like limbo. I’m in that place in the application process that is nerve wracking. I did everything on my end promptly. I ran to the doc to get my tests. She was prompt in filling out the questionaire. So was Dave. I hadn’t heard anything from the school. I didn’t know if the eye docs had sent in their stuff. I emailed the school and didn’t hear anything. The folks on the email ist said to call. So I just called. All the medical info is in. The eye docs were prompt. I’m sorry eye docs. I had no faith in you. Your medical records people must be good. I’m sorry I thought it was you.
apparently its my rehab teacher from Saavi and my therapist who haven’t sent in the questionaire. The school said the info was sent to them on October 5th. So I called and left voicemails for both. Maybe they didn’t get the info? Maybe the paperwork is sitting on their desk? I’m trying not to get annoyed.
this is like, when the husband is late and the wife says “he better be laying in a ditch somewhere!” I just really hope they didn’t get the paperwork. Because I like them both very much. And if this whole process is being held up because the paperwork is sitting…well. I’m sorry eye docs, again, really. It wasn’t your fault.
I think I’m getting all crazy about this because its all I think about. I read guide dog blogs. I talk to guide dog owners and puppy raisers. Its pretty much all I do online. And then at night when I’m laying in bed I think, “Am I doing the right thing? Can I handle this responsibility? Its like having a child. Do I want to get up at 6am and pick up poop? Am I doing the right thing? What if I’m not? I don’t know what to do. Should I just use my cane? I don’t want to use my cane. I want the freedom. I want the companionship. I want to care for a pooch. Yes. I want this. I am doing the right thing. But what if I’m not? What if I’m all cozy in bed watching House and 9 o’clock rolls around and I don’t want to do the final relieving? What if I fail my dog? My trainers? The raisers? What if, what if what if…”
I know this is all normal. I read emails from others. I read blogs. I know this. I know I want the dog. I can’t wait for the dog. When I think about the dog my apartment feels empty, because she’s not here. So I get frustrated when I find out that there’s a hitch in the works. But I know its going to work out the way its supposed to. But I want to go in Jan. of Feb. I will have to wait until next fall if I can’t go in the first part of the year. Or is that a misconception? I think I can’t get home with my dog in summer because it’ll be too hot to train. Maybe this deadline is something I’ve made up in my head? Or if I have to wait, then I’m supposed to wait. Right?
I got to see Arquette today. My braille teacher’s dog. She is so sweet! I was allowed to say hi after the lesson was over. She got so excited and I got to love on her for like 5 seconds and then the magic “back to work” words were said and she was all business. Apparently its going wonderful for the two of them and I’m just so happy for my teacher.
I totally didn’t mention my braille lesson in my previous post, and it was really cool. I got to write out the alphabet, my name and phone number, and practice punctuation on the braille writer today. And my teacher told me its the same writer she’s used since she was in third grade! How cool is that??
Braille doesn’t belong in a doggy diaries post, but oh well. Its my blog and I’ll write if I want to.
The moral of all of this is always follow up. If you’re applying for a guide dog, or anything, always follow up. Thank you Sarah for teaching me about footwork. I don’t even think you read this. But thank you. You taught me all about footwork and how important it is. Its all about having the courage to change the things I can. I know now that by doing the footwork, if something doesn’t work out, I did everything I could on my end.
Follow up follow up follow up. Humans are fallible.