Doggy Countdown – Thoughts on years old and new

I’ve been thinking about how to do this countdown deal. Write only posts about impending school, or just write my normal posts under this heading. The main reason I want a post a day is to chronicle each day under one label, so I can find those posts easily. So I think I’ll include anything in these posts, and if I do multiple posts, only one will get the label, for archiving. Which means I can only have one post a day where I talk about my thoughts about my dog haha. Ok this entire paragraph was pointless except to clarify for myself how I’m gonna do this.

I am completely out of spoons today. I think I’m operating on a half a spoon. Felt it as soon as I woke up. Aches all over and lethargic. When I don’t feel like writing or even replying to comments or emails, that’s when I know I’m fatigued. I got to wondering if it had anything to do with the gym being closed until Monday, and then I read a blog post about not exercising and feeling it, and that answered my question. I’m sure a big majority of it is the not working out, because I haven’t done it at home since last week. Slacker. So I’ve probably got a touch of MS fatigue, mixed in with being a slacker, Aunt Flo visiting, sorry guys, leftover holiday blah, a sick cousin in Chicago, Grandma worrying, then the shock of going to GDB in a month and a half, not eating all that great and WHAM, spoon thief has food to eat. So I’m pretty sure this lethargy is partly my fault. I’m not down on myself for it, because sometimes I need this kind of proof that things like eating right and working out really make a huge difference. So, Monday is the day and I can’t freakin wait to hit that treadmill.

My birthday was nice. Just relaxed and L came over. We sat and chatted for awhile and had a laugh over something I did to scare Spinelli which I can’t write here lol! Then she bought me a mocha from Starbucks. Mmm. Overpriced, yes. Delicious, yes. I tried their instant coffee a few weeks ago and it’s gooood. I’ll be taking that to GDB 😉

B has had the flu for about 3 weeks, his doc informed him yesterday. So he’s got meds and is feeling better. He got me Olive Garden last night for my birthday, and will buy me a suitcase to take to school. I went to bed as usual and insisted on getting a kiss from even though he’s sick. If I haven’t gotten it yet, I should be safe, I hope.

So, I don’t think I need to write much about this year, as it’s all pretty much on this blog. Even though I didn’t start it till September, this whole year is still documented here in some form or other.

So I’ll look to 2010. Lots of change afoot. Getting my dog will bring about big change. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little fearful. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes question whether I really want this. Doubts are normal, but while I’m looking at those doubts, I’m choosing not to feed that particular wolf. Anytime a major change is coming, it’s normal to feel some animosity, if I spelled that right.

I also have to admit that I’m a little scared of 2010. My right eye went blind in 2006 along with the MS diagnosis, and I went blind in 2008, so I’m a little scared of even years now. First it was May, then April. So beware the Ides of March haha! I’m trying not to dwell on it. I’m much healthier now and my dog will add so much to my physical routines and my mental health, and keeping those 2 things healthy are imperative with auto immune, or any disease, really.

Aside from the dog and my fears about the MS, there’s nothing else I’m counting on, no real expectations. I don’t make resolutions, because they are made to be broken. Most of the things I’ve wanted to improve in my life, I’ve worked on wholeheartedly in the last almost 5 years, and even more so since going blind. I love who I am, I’m already losing weight, I’m already cleaning more, I’m doing my little home improvement projects, so there isn’t much more I want changed that I can change. Pretty much anything else I’d like to see change is completely out of my control and therefor cannot become a resolution 😉

One thing I have absolutely decided, and this is just coincidence that it’s happened at the New Year, is I am going to buy myself something from Amazon once a month. Nothing big. Just something. Even a trash can. Or pajamas. Or something for the dog. Just something. Because it’s fun, I like tracking packages, and I’ve deprived myself of a lot of simple pleasures over the years, and I’m done with that. Finally redoing my bathroom and just the little home improvement stuff the last couple weeks has just lifted my spirits, and I deserve it, so I’ll be doing that 😉

I guess one thing I really found in therapy is that I’ve been too damn hard on myself. So I’ve been working on that, and will continue that.

I absolutely have to say that I am thrilled to be embarking upon this next year with all my blogger friends. I’m not going to name everyone because I’d forget someone and then feel terrible and go right back to beating myself up hahaha! But this blog and everyone I’ve met through it has been one of the absolute best things to happen in 2009 and I’m so glad to continue on with it. Future dog, in training as I type, as Spinelli sleeps on my lap, you are the reason for this blog. I don’t even know you yet, and you have changed my life.

A month and a half to go! And then I meet my pooch! Hmm, I wonder if there was a phase report today.

Ok, enough outta me. I’ll write next year 😉

23 Comments

Filed under Amazon, birthday, coffeeholic, Doggy Countdown, Doggy Diaries, family, Gamma, GDB, gratitude, holiday, new year, Spinelli, spoons, treat for me, workouts

23 Responses to Doggy Countdown – Thoughts on years old and new

  1. Hope you feel better soon. Bring back her spoons, ya dirty spoon theif you.

    This month is so gonna fly!

  2. And why, pray tell, can’t you write about what you did to scare your poor kitty? ROFL, curious minds want to know. suspense is not good for minds like these. Haha. I hope your spoons come back soon. I’m just sitting around today doing nothing more than playing with the computer waiting for mine to return.

  3. Ro

    Herm, urgh, ahem, well, because it involves bodily functions hahahaha!!!!

    Why are you waiting for your computer to return?

  4. Not her computer, her spoons, silly.

    Were you chasing Spinelli with a q-tip? Hahahahahah!

  5. Ro

    Oh. Um. Meep. Yeah, my mental spoons are as low as my physical ones. Der. I didn’t think she had taken her computer anywhere. Sheesh.

    No q tips. It involves flatulants. I guess at this point I should just tell the stupid story hahaha. Should have known not to mention it 😉

  6. Mmm…Starbucks! Don’t worry too much about instant starbucks for class. There is a Starbucks on your main route in San Rafael. Yum! And, many of the dogs already know where it is, because the trainers are frequent visitors of the establishment. There is a Cold Stone there too – Yummy ice cream!

    There must be more flatulance in my house than yours! There is no way my cats would be scared of that – ever! They hear it too often! DH is a champion! 😉 OK, now that was TMI!

    Happy New Year!

  7. Don’t worry to much about your dog! It’s normal. I worried before I got Gabrina and then I wasn’t as excited to get her. So just be excited, it’s more fun that way!

  8. Ro

    Ooooh trust me, I’m excited hehe. Got my GDB packet today 🙂 B checked the mail when he got hom and there it was. I’m gonna listen to the cd in the morning!!

  9. Ro

    The coffee I’m gonna bring is the instant coffee packets. I have decaf, for a cup at night. And it can just be made with hot water from the bathroom 😉

    Your comment about how we must not have as much flatulants cracked me up hahaha!!!

  10. L^2

    Glad you had a good birthday! 🙂 And I hope you’re feeling better soon. I also tend to feel worse when I don’t get as much exercise as I’m used to.

    I kinda hate to admit it, but I’m a lot more worried about the second guide dog than I was about Willow. The first time around I was just excited and took everything as it came. This time I have ideas and expectations about everything – I’m trying no to dwell on them because I don’t want to be disappointed if things end up being different than I expect, but yeah, I’m definitely more nervous this time around.

    Also, I think that whole buying a little something every month is a great idea. I LOVE getting mail/packages, so it’s always fun to order things – even if it’s just more dog food.

    Happy New Year!

  11. I became a Starbucks lover at GDB class! I had some of those same mixed emotions/anticipations before my first guide. It is so worth it! I love that you love who you are and going to treat yourself each month! You go girl. I shared the spoon story with a client and she SO appreciated it.

  12. Ro

    I can’t imagine what it would be like to get the second guide. You’ve gotten so used to Willow, that a new dog will be different, and then there’s that adjustment period. And added to that, you’re going to have your retired guide wondering why this new dog is taking you places. I’m sure there’s a lot more uncertainty now getting the second guide. I think it’s good to address all those thoughts and feelings. Maybe it would be something to bring up on your blog, to get others’ input. I’m so grateful to have my blog and my email list, because I just feel so prepared. Getting first hand knowledge from other people is just so valuable. It’s that unknown that is just so hard. Kinda like being in a huge room with no dog or cane and no wall within reach.

  13. Ooo eeee! Your packet is already there! Ooo eeee oooo eeee!

  14. HAPPY NEW YEAR RO!!!
    Welcome home Carin! Geez, we had to keep her company while you were away and that is no small fete! lol (kidding guys)

    Thanks Ro, for being who you are and allowing us all in! You know we love you! 🙂

    You’re a star! * * * hugs * * *

    jnoi

  15. L^2 – read your comment and I agree. I felt my second guide (Cricket) had some big shoes to fill – would I be able to bond with her, etc, etc. I was really grateful that she is such a different guide (personality and her little quirks) – both just what I needed at the time.

  16. Ro

    Hahahaha JayNoi filled those shoes well hehehe! Happy New Year!

  17. Half a spoon, would that make it a sp, an on or an oo? Actually wait, it would have to have half an O in it somewhere, damn odd numbered words.

    Happy New Year!

  18. Yup. Carin was right. Haha, I meant my spoons. Hospitals just wipe all energy I have away.

    As for the bodily functions… Sadie is the one who scares me most of the time, not the other way around… And she has the nerve to act like she didn’t do it when she walks off and looks back at me like, “what?” LOL.

  19. Ro

    Haha I haven’t even heard my cats. They have the silent but deadly ones. My old cat, Combat, had audible ones hehe.

    How are you feeling? Are you bouncing back?

  20. I am ttrying to bounce back. I have spent the past two days doing nothing really… I’ve watched a few movies, but that’s it. I just wanna sleep! It’s crazy.

  21. Ro

    One thing that I’ve noticed when recovering from bad spoons day, is that I’ll want to be really inactive, thinking I need to rest to recover. But usually what helps is if I get up and do some cleaning, or at least something more active. I’ve found that the more inactive I get, the worse it gets. so on bad spoons day, yeah, I do nothing, but it will linger and I have to push myself to move. But, recovering from being sick is the worst. I can’t imagine how much worse it is after being in the hospital. At my last hospital stay, they pumped me full of steroids, so I was bouncing of the walls one minute and crashing the next. Ick. Hope you get to feeling better soon!

  22. Thanks. At this rate, I may be back there which is absolutely killing me. Just taking a shower completely wears me out, and so far the new antibiotics are not helping with the painful infection I have. I will be calling my nephrologist and GYN Monday to see what to do now since the problems from the other meds are better, but the others still remain.

  23. Ro

    Oh no. That does not sound good. Tell them they better get it cleared up or else, or else, oh I don’t know. They just better fix it. 🙁

    Ok maybe this will give you a laugh. Where I typed “or else or else, oh I don’t know” I had originally had my hands on the wrong keys. So when I played it back it said “yo ir eksem ir eksem ig U dib;t jbiw,” Hehehe! I copied it before I deleted it 🙂

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