I’ve been thinking about how to do this countdown deal. Write only posts about impending school, or just write my normal posts under this heading. The main reason I want a post a day is to chronicle each day under one label, so I can find those posts easily. So I think I’ll include anything in these posts, and if I do multiple posts, only one will get the label, for archiving. Which means I can only have one post a day where I talk about my thoughts about my dog haha. Ok this entire paragraph was pointless except to clarify for myself how I’m gonna do this.
I am completely out of spoons today. I think I’m operating on a half a spoon. Felt it as soon as I woke up. Aches all over and lethargic. When I don’t feel like writing or even replying to comments or emails, that’s when I know I’m fatigued. I got to wondering if it had anything to do with the gym being closed until Monday, and then I read a blog post about not exercising and feeling it, and that answered my question. I’m sure a big majority of it is the not working out, because I haven’t done it at home since last week. Slacker. So I’ve probably got a touch of MS fatigue, mixed in with being a slacker, Aunt Flo visiting, sorry guys, leftover holiday blah, a sick cousin in Chicago, Grandma worrying, then the shock of going to GDB in a month and a half, not eating all that great and WHAM, spoon thief has food to eat. So I’m pretty sure this lethargy is partly my fault. I’m not down on myself for it, because sometimes I need this kind of proof that things like eating right and working out really make a huge difference. So, Monday is the day and I can’t freakin wait to hit that treadmill.
My birthday was nice. Just relaxed and L came over. We sat and chatted for awhile and had a laugh over something I did to scare Spinelli which I can’t write here lol! Then she bought me a mocha from Starbucks. Mmm. Overpriced, yes. Delicious, yes. I tried their instant coffee a few weeks ago and it’s gooood. I’ll be taking that to GDB 😉
B has had the flu for about 3 weeks, his doc informed him yesterday. So he’s got meds and is feeling better. He got me Olive Garden last night for my birthday, and will buy me a suitcase to take to school. I went to bed as usual and insisted on getting a kiss from even though he’s sick. If I haven’t gotten it yet, I should be safe, I hope.
So, I don’t think I need to write much about this year, as it’s all pretty much on this blog. Even though I didn’t start it till September, this whole year is still documented here in some form or other.
So I’ll look to 2010. Lots of change afoot. Getting my dog will bring about big change. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little fearful. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes question whether I really want this. Doubts are normal, but while I’m looking at those doubts, I’m choosing not to feed that particular wolf. Anytime a major change is coming, it’s normal to feel some animosity, if I spelled that right.
I also have to admit that I’m a little scared of 2010. My right eye went blind in 2006 along with the MS diagnosis, and I went blind in 2008, so I’m a little scared of even years now. First it was May, then April. So beware the Ides of March haha! I’m trying not to dwell on it. I’m much healthier now and my dog will add so much to my physical routines and my mental health, and keeping those 2 things healthy are imperative with auto immune, or any disease, really.
Aside from the dog and my fears about the MS, there’s nothing else I’m counting on, no real expectations. I don’t make resolutions, because they are made to be broken. Most of the things I’ve wanted to improve in my life, I’ve worked on wholeheartedly in the last almost 5 years, and even more so since going blind. I love who I am, I’m already losing weight, I’m already cleaning more, I’m doing my little home improvement projects, so there isn’t much more I want changed that I can change. Pretty much anything else I’d like to see change is completely out of my control and therefor cannot become a resolution 😉
One thing I have absolutely decided, and this is just coincidence that it’s happened at the New Year, is I am going to buy myself something from Amazon once a month. Nothing big. Just something. Even a trash can. Or pajamas. Or something for the dog. Just something. Because it’s fun, I like tracking packages, and I’ve deprived myself of a lot of simple pleasures over the years, and I’m done with that. Finally redoing my bathroom and just the little home improvement stuff the last couple weeks has just lifted my spirits, and I deserve it, so I’ll be doing that 😉
I guess one thing I really found in therapy is that I’ve been too damn hard on myself. So I’ve been working on that, and will continue that.
I absolutely have to say that I am thrilled to be embarking upon this next year with all my blogger friends. I’m not going to name everyone because I’d forget someone and then feel terrible and go right back to beating myself up hahaha! But this blog and everyone I’ve met through it has been one of the absolute best things to happen in 2009 and I’m so glad to continue on with it. Future dog, in training as I type, as Spinelli sleeps on my lap, you are the reason for this blog. I don’t even know you yet, and you have changed my life.
A month and a half to go! And then I meet my pooch! Hmm, I wonder if there was a phase report today.
Ok, enough outta me. I’ll write next year 😉