I knew I had one fairly easy post for NaBloPoMo and I’m cashing it in today. I don’t have time to write something from scratch, so I’ll bring you another edition of ‘They Landed Here’, which I’ve been titling, “Keyword Gems”. These are search queries I save that made me laugh at the time of finding them on my stat counter. In case you find that you’re one of the people searching for these terms, don’t worry, I have no way of finding out who you are. Stat counters don’t work that way.
Below each query is the thought I had at the time of saving the search term. Hope you enjoy! Oh yeah, I copied this idea some time ago from VomitComet. Check out their “You are Here?” label for hours and hours of laughter!
Remember the rapture?
20 May www.google.com 86 year old man says the world ends tomorrow
20 May www.google.com what’s up with the world ending thing tomorrow?
21 May www.google.com.au so i heard about the end of the world, oh wait
Now back to our regularly scheduled search queries.
3 Jun www.google.ca doggy positions
*Is my mind just in the gutter? This made me LOL for real.
2 Jun www.google.com.ar describe a commercial
* A british voice speaking that is actually a little green gecko telling you you can save fifteen percent or more on car insurance
1 Jun www.google.com evan longoria’s marital status
*I get these search queries a lot. Evan, inquiring minds want to know. (Though I’m pretty sure with the media the way it is, we’ll know he’s engaged before his parents do.)
6 Jun www.google.com use iphone to see blind person
*I think you can just use your eyes to see us.
7 Jun www.google.co.uk the song about carole
*Just had to save this one for Carol. I wonder if the E on the end of your name was a mistake? Maybe there is a song about Carole.
7 Jun www.google.ca what I want need to know about short story
*How I learn know to write.
8 Jun www.google.com but I asked her to put the dog away
*And she didn’t??? Dude.
20 Jun www.google.com I don’t know how to crochet and I want to crochet a blanket
*Probably need to learn how to crochet, then…
21 Jun www.google.com “can i put my laptop in the freezer”
*Is it scary?
23 Jun www.google.com.au what would happen if there was no guide dogs?
*A lot more white canes would be sold.
24 Jun www.google.com should stay in the market? 2011 june
25 Jun www.google.com.au how to want to write again
*If you find out, will you let me know? Update: There’s this great book: “The Artist’s Way”. Read it. It makes you want to write again. *
25 Jun www.google.com is evan longoria a jerk
*Absolutely not. I’m biased, but we’ve all got the same information on the guy.
25 Jun www.google.com sam fuld catches videos
*Sam Fuld catches everything.
27 jun www.google.com.tw “rock paper scissors” umpire test
*They appeal to first and…paper beats rock. Strike three.
30 jun www.google.com Mom did cal is that sentence rite
*Your mom did cal? As in, California? That’s a lot of doing. Or perhaps you meant calculus. I’m thinking you also meant, right or correct. (This search query landed the searcher on another keyword gems post. I thought that was kinda funny.)
4 Jul www.google.co.uk. do you agree with guide dogs
*Not all the time but usually my guide dog knows what is best for me.
15 Jul www.google.com.vc WHY DID CAT WENT ON THE ROOF?
*Maybe his litter needs changing.
29 Jul www.google.com “Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven!” movie
*”Seven” was a movie with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman. This search though, sounds like a “Friends” episode.
22 Aug www.google.com “my sighted boyfriend”
*Yeah, I’ve got one too.
11 Oct www.google.com 30 year ols women laying in the sun
*Well almighty then.
7 Nov www.google.com Hear+the+sleigh+bells+jingle,+jingle,+fingers+freeze+and+then+they+tingle.
*Yeah that’s about how I felt about that song, too.