Category Archives: Silicone Sally

Holy lots of stuff batman

All I know for sure about this post is that its going to be long lol.

I’m going to start at last night when just some fun stuff happened. You know when you think, this is great blog material, that either it is, or else you just think its great but no one else will. But I opened up a blank email just to quickly record the stuff so I wouldn’t forget.

First of all, Silicone Sally got her revenge. I tried tricking her with an accent when I paid my T-Mobile bill. At about 5pm B sent me a text that said, “your phone isn’t working”. I replied, “its not?” and tried calling him but I instantly got a busy signal, one of those fast ones. I tried calling from my home phone, which is also T-Mobile, with the same result. Then I tried calling 611 and Silicone Sammy said, “We’re sorry, all circuits are busy now, please try your call again later.” That brat Sally called Sammy too. I tried calling my Grandma, and it worked just fine. Huh? Why can I call Grandma but not B? He’s on T-Mobile too, must be the connection. But my friend was talking to me online and I couldn’t text her and she couldn’t text me and she’s on Sprint. Very odd indeed. Eventually B was able to get through. Be careful when making fun of Silicone Sally and her cohorts.

B brought food home and we were eating. ESPN was on of course, and they were interviewing the umpire who called the game in the 1985 World Series between Kansas City and St. Louis. Game 6, extra innings, Kansas City scores a home run on a terrible safe call by the umpire, and go on to win game 7. So they were talking to that umpire, and he admits looking at it now that it was a bad call, but it was just one of those times where it happened. It just so happened to cause the loss of the WS for St. Louis. 20 years later, the old manager of the Cardinals had a party and invited the umpire. The umpire went, and he was asked to speak. So he spoke and after the applause, the old manager gave him a present. The umpire tried to walk off the stage, but the old manager told him to open the present. It was a very nice looking watch. Upon closer examination, the umpire realized it was a braille watch. Nice. Nuff said.

After we had a laugh at that, Lori called me telling me she was stopping at Starbucks on the way to pick me up for choir. She asked if I wanted anything. Now, I absolutely love the iced mochas from Starbucks. As an aside, McDonald’s mochas are just as good. Anyway, it killed me to pass it up, but I said, “man I wish, but I’d just have to pee”. This was met with laughter after which Lori called me an old lady, and in her old lady voice said, “I can’t have any coffee or else I’ll have to pee” and then more laughter. I har hard and said, “well when you go blind and can’t easily get to the restroom, you’ll watch your fluid intake too”. She laughed at this and we hung up.

I then realized that I’m just like a guide dog before a flight or a long trip. Don’t feed or water the pooch. Well, I watch my fluid intake before I go somewhere where the restroom issue would be a problem, like going to choir. We rehearse in church pews. I have no clue where the bathroom is. If I have to pee after doing all the jing a lings which take a lot of diaphragm work and could quite easily irritate my bladder, I’ll have to ask Lori to help me and make all the women move since I’m a second soprano and right smack dabb in the middle of the choir. So I don’t drink much for about 2 hours before a rehearsal. Don’t water R before a long journey.

While I was waiting for Lori, B called to order the NBA package on the cable. He said the salesguy was such an idiot, because B said, “I’d like to order NBA league pass.” Comcast: “Do you have a home phone?” B: “Yes, I’m calling you on it.” Comcast: “oh hows it working for you?” B: “Fine I just want NBA league pass.” Finally the call was done and B’s like, “where’s my game?” I’m like, “It takes time for the signal to go through.” B: “Yeah but, ok fine. I’m gonna walk the rent down, hopefully a game will be on when I get back.” As soon as the door shut, the game came on. I thought about trying to get it on a blank channel just to mess with him. But I was nice. I should have messed with him 😉

Lori shows up early and I’m trying to rush and I ran into the garbage can knocking it over. Luckily nothing spilled. I know I shouldn’t rush. Rushing causes me to run into things. Thats not fun.

We went to choir and were early so we sat in the parking lot in her red mini mom van. Scrolling through the iPod. She likes R&B and rap, I like country. So she put on some Michael Jackson and then was scrolling through all this rap and I’m doing that thing where you put your hand in the air and kinda bump it up and down, I don’t even know how to describe that, the rap move, you know what I mean. She’s talking about rollin down the road in her sexy red mini mom van bumpin it to rap and I just find it so funny because we’re both pale white chicks, so I’m imagining her rolling down the road like that, ooooh too funny.

When we were practicing Uncle John, the director said the funniest thing. Its a comical song, and we’re all singing different words, la, wah sa, chic, ho ho ho. So we’re practicing parts and she says, “ok las and wah sas” meaning soprano and second soprano. When it came time for the altos she said, “ok chics and ho’s”. Ooooooh man. Priceless. Our director is really fun, but she’s also very much a good Mormon, so for her to say “ok chics and ho’s”. Too damn funny. Also, after one of the songs she stops the choir and says, “I hope I don’t embarrass her, but R is blind and she knows this music.” Nice. Not embarrassed at all. Quite proud, thanks!

So I get home and we’re still having some problems with our phones. That Sally holds a grudge.

I get up this morning and Dave is coming at 9am and then I have my workout at Saavi. I’ve got like 50 emails. I’m going through them, got some comments on my blog, some posts from a few email lists, and a job offer. What?? Yeah. A job offer. Its so incredibly brand new and I don’t know a lot of details yet, so I’m not going to post about it just yet. Sorry, you’ll just have to keep coming back. 😉

Dave and I went down to the store and did some route travel in the parking lot and up to the store and inside and I said hi to one of the clerks. Then we went to the major huge ginormous and crazy intersection that will be my intersection to show GDB. I’m talking crazy huge long right turn curve, medians in the middle of the road going all directions, slanting shorelines, not a perfect square, more like a blob. No chirps and beeps. Crazy. We just listened to it and talked about it for a bit. We won’t be attempting it any time soon; gonna do smaller intersections first.

On the way to Saavi Dave told me about a tech conference in Mesa next Friday, and I get to go!! 4 vans full of Saavi staff and clients all going to an accessibility tech conference to check out gadgets!! Yay! So excited!

I came home and had to check out the job offer, making sure its all legit and stuff. Very interesting. I sent an email confirming that I’m interested. More will be revealed.

I went through all my emails, replied to blog posts, talked to Grandma and Lish and then finally was able to sit down and write out this monster.

Oh yeah, there was a bake sale at Saavi, so there we were, sitting on the bikes peddling away, eating cookies. How better to not feel guilt about eating cookies?


Filed under accomplishment, baseball, Choir, coffeeholic, faith, guide dogs, NaBloPoMo 2009, Orientation and Mobility, pooch preparation, proud geek, random stuff, Silicone Sally, silly girl, workouts

Silicon Sally – Accent experiment

I just got silly today when I paid my cell phone bill. The subject of accents came up in the comments on my last Sally post, so I thought I’d give it a try, because I’m curious if these things end up discriminating against folks with strong accents.

Well, my accent wasn’t very strong, but it switched from a British type accent to a cockney type accent to maybe a southern drawl lol. The only time Sally had problems is when I said “yes” once while she was still talking. But she got my card number and everything through the accent.

I’ll have to try a stronger one next time. This reminds me of when I was in training at a call center years ago, and we decided to take calls with accents just for fun. One of the guys took an entire call in the voice of Cartman from Southpark. He got in big trouble, but oh man was it funny.

Actually doing a bad accent today made paying the bill a little entertaining. Maybe I’ll keep doing it, just to amuse myself.


Filed under humor as coping skill, NaBloPoMo 2009, proud geek, random stuff, Silicone Sally, silly girl

Silicon Sally

I really didn’t plan on writing tonsof posts today, but this was just too funny.

You know those new stupid phone systems now where you dial the 800 number and Silicon Sally comes on and says something like, “Hello! Welcome to (insert company)! For English, say English. Ok, how can I help you today? You can say anything like, how many minutes do I have to, make a payment.” So you say “make a payment” but you talk over her so she doesn’t hear you. So you say “make a payment” again, feeling more and more ridiculous that you’re talking to a computer. I love it the most when I just want to talk to a human so I say “customer service” and she says “Ok, you would like to speak to a representative, is that right?” “yes.”

So just now, I’m in the other room. I hear B turn on the speaker phone which he does when he calls Walgreens to refill his prescription. I hear, “Welcome to Walgreens! Would you like to refill a prescription?” B goes, “What the hell…..” and then a resigned, “Yes”. She asks him for more information and he gives it, sounding like he thinks this is the most stupid thing ever. She doesn’t respond. He says “yes” again. She responds after about 5 seconds. Then she says “Ok, enter or say your prescription number”. I hear him enter. And then I don’t hear anything. He says “yes”. Nothing. Yes. Nothing. I’m laughing silently, thinking that she’s not repsonding so he just keeps saying yes. Until I realize he’s taken it off speaker phone. I come back in the room and he’s going, yes. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. Ok. Yes.

and hangs up. I say, don’t like the new system? He said its a little weird.

I remember when my Grandma sold her car, and she was calling the insurance company to cancel the insurance. I had set up the account for her, and they wanted to talk to me, so she was calling them back when I was there. She could not for the life of her, respond in a way that Silicone Sally liked. Porr thing was getting so frustrated, and trying over and over, that I said I would do it and I called and just said “customer service”.

Why did they switch to this system? Do they think its easier for people to not hit buttons? I appreciate the ones that say “enter or say” for all of it, and give you the option of saying yes or no, or pressing 1 or 2.

Is this supposed to be easier for the blind, or the elderly, or for people who can’t push buttons well? Whtever happened to just hitting zero?

I just feel like a complete ass saying yes or no to a computer, especially when I say what I want and it doesn’t understand me so I’m yelling it into the phone.

I would love it if somehow these places could record the calls, and then make a montage of how people sound when they are trying to conduct their business with Silicone Sally. I know some of my calls would be a hoot.


Filed under accessibility, blind opinion, Gamma, random stuff, Silicone Sally