Category Archives: rant

When Your Food Order Is Wrong

Last night I put an idea out on Twitter for my NaBloPoMo posts. I asked if anyone had anything they’d like me to write about. Apparently no one did because the only response I got was my friend Ricardo tweeting something like, why don’t you write about when your food gets delivered and the order is wrong. He was very frustrated because they put bacon on his burger. If he didn’t live in New York and if my jaw wasn’t killing me, I’d have eaten it. I love bacon!

So, since I don’t want to continue writing about my dental woes, I thought we’d discuss when you get the wrong food. It happens to everyone and it’s terribly annoying. In fact it also happened to me last night but I didn’t have a stranger to blame, I had B.

Where Ricardo called the delivery place to get a new order because he couldn’t just pick off the bacon since the whole burger tasted like bacon grease, *stomach rumble* I didn’t make B go back down to Culvers and get me the mushroom swiss burger I ordered. I instead ate some of this thing on Rye he brought home. He realized he had said the wrong thing to them. How he ordered a Wisconsin something instead of a mushroom swiss burger I’ll never know. I cut him slack though because he had been in Phoenix all day for a seminar. I also didn’t mention to him that the crust on the rye bread was too hard to eat with my sore mouth. Shhh, don’t tell him.

Ok I should really look up whatever Wisconsin thing he brought home because all that was on it was a burger patty and grilled onions on Rye. There was no cheese. Now when you hear Wisconsin, what is the first thing you think of? I think of dairy and CHEESE! Ok, going to look it up now. Culvers has a nice accessible website.

Now I am a bit stumped. B had to have brought home the Wisconsin Swiss Melt because that’s the only thing that is even remotely close to what I ate. There was no cheese on it though so Culvers had to have given B someone else’s order. At least I wasn’t wrong in thinking cheese when I heard Wisconsin. It also explains how on earth he ordered a Wisconsin thing instead of a mushroom swiss burger. He didn’t, he just thought he must have. Seriously though, a sandwich thing on rye isn’t even round! All it would have taken was a glance in the bag. Though he did set the thing down in front of me and didn’t notice the non round shape. I knew the second I touched it. Maybe it’s a blind thing. No, it’s an observant thing. I swear I’m not doing a boyfriend bitch fest haha! It’s just an other people not doing it the way I would bitch fest.

This brings me to another thought. Why don’t men check food orders before they leave a place? Ok perhaps it’s not fair to say all men so I’ll rephrase. Why does B refuse to check a food order before he leaves a place? I used to never leave a place without checking the order. I don’t know where that habit came from, if I got the wrong thing once or if I just learned it from my mom. I can distinctly remember Mom pulling forward at a drive through and checking the order before leaving.

I’ve asked B to check orders after I’ve gotten the wrong thing and it’s like he thinks he’ll be offending the staff if he dares to check their work. Drives me up the wall! Last night could have been avoided and I could have had the mushroom swiss burger I wanted so badly after not eating much solid food for the last couple days. At least I got my onion rings and not fries. I could have sent him back for the proper burger. I guess love means not making him leave again haha!

Does anyone else have anything they’d like me to write about? Obviously the sky is the limit since I took Ricardo’s frustration seriously and wrote a post about it.


Filed under mom, NaBloPoMo 2013, num num food, random stuff, rant, silly girl, twitter me this

From the Desk of My Depressed and Semi-sleep Deprived Mind

Disclaimer: This is not a happy post. I’m just putting this hear before I post this as a warning in case you’re unstable around politics like I am.


I’m not sure if I’ll title this post From the Desk of My Sleep Deprived Mind part three or not since I didn’t wake up at like 1:30am or anything. I did however, wake up at 4:00am, I just didn’t get out of bed until 6:00am. Do you ever do that? Wake up at an ungodly hour and lay there thinking, “if I fall asleep again now, I’ll get another three hours. Ok, so now if I fall asleep again I’ll get like two and a half hours, oh now it’s just kinda pointless, oh but I’m comfy, hey the air conditioning kicked in if I’m gonna sleep it’s now or never to that air, quick, snuggle up. Oh the air is off again. Now I’m thinking about all my fears again do I really want to do this? I could make coffee and read Twitter. But if I fall asleep now I’ll get another two hours, everyone is gonna die before me and I’ll be alone! Alone! Alone! Oh screw it just get up.” Or is that just me?

Yeah…I’m in a lot of fear in my life. I do morning writing upon awakening every day so this morning I chatted with myself about that fear a little bit. I’m not gonna write that all in public cuz that’s a rather private conversation between God and me but basically I’m having a hard time trusting that I’ll be ok. It really did hit me while trying to get back to sleep that everyone in my life is older than me. I have this horrible fear that I’m going to be left completely alone, with no one. No one! Do you know how scary that is?

I know a lot of this is coming from the change in the family dynamic since Gamma had to go to the home. The family sold her house recently and I don’t think I’m ok with that. That house was the last place we all were before everyone started dying. Now there’s no house where we all were. That’s just sad. I’m so glad that I didn’t know the last time I was at her house was the last time. I left there our last Sunday together oblivious and happy and then….

I haven’t been the same since. And the politics don’t help. That stuff is everywhere when you’re on social networking. I can filter a lot using my Twitter client called YoruFukurou but a lot still slips through. It’s like when I stopped listening to talk radio because even though I listened to the shows I related to they still played sound bites of the other side. I still had to hear it. And even the side I relate to and agree with more or less drives me crazy. It’s all crazy. But the side I don’t lean towards? They hate women! And I’m a disabled woman! Even worse! I’m a drain on my country! I’m worthless! I need help and I can’t support myself! Do you know how hard it is to hear that other side that I don’t lean towards? Why am I being evasive? Maybe I just don’t even want those words on my blog. I’ll just say if we don’t elect the same President I’m really just gonna lose it. You will have to lock me up. I’m gonna freak out. I am so terrified and that other party is a big, no huge, no gigantic part of that. Do you hear me? That side? Look at what you’re doing to the people you want to govern! Look at me! Up until like a month or two ago I was one of the most well adjusted people I knew and now I’m close to a shell of a freaking human because I’m not a rich old white guy who can support myself and who’s healthy. I have parts that side wants to assign laws to. Heart, calm down, I’m sorry, calm down heart. I’m a sick woman. Yes, I am being melodramatic, but this is how this all makes me feel and I can’t get away from it because even though I don’t follow the people who believe that stuff they still tweet it! Ok I’m gonna cry I need to stop talking about this.

It’s all worsening my depression to the nth degree. Old time readers here know how I feel about that word, depression. You know if I use it, it’s getting kinda nasty for me.

I’m not one to throw around the word depression or depressed lightly unless I’m really in a depression. When I feel it coming on I fight it, I try and keep it down, I try and soul search and inventory and fix it. Sometimes it goes away quickly so for me, that was just a case of the blues. When it hangs around for weeks and then a month and then more than a month and I find myself crying easily, it’s a depression full blown and I hate to admit it but then I admit it and it starts to lift.

Share your pain with another and cut it in half. Share it again and cut it again. Slowly, ever so slowly, it begins to help. I’m reaching into my memory vault and trying to remember the things I learned in therapy while adjusting to blindness. I officially was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder which just makes me laugh. Adjustment disorder. Alrighty then. So do “normal” people just adjust in a day to life altering changes? I think names just have to be assigned to things. I just don’t like the word disorder. I think I’ve blogged about this before.

Anyway wow, so how did all that come out? This is what happens when I’m sleep deprived. Maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe it’s my version of a loose tongue with the drink since I don’t drink. Sometimes when I vomit out a word post I wonder if I’ll actually put it up on the blog but I always do. It’s partly that sharing to cut the pain in half thing but also because every time I post this kind of stuff someone always thanks me for sharing. The best way to get out of oneself is to help another.

Ok, so it’s 7:06 now. I only started writing because I caught up on Twitter and didn’t know what else to do. I need to refill my coffee but that will require moving. I wonder what I’ve written? I love the stream of conscious writing. That’s what my morning writing is like. I have over a year’s worth of daily writing. It’s never this much though. I think maybe because I do it first thing, before I’ve really woken up and had time to put thoughts in my head.

I wish this was more of a funny post like the other two sleep deprived posts. I was a lot more sleep deprived in those posts though, so maybe this is the equivalent to only like three beers and those other two were more like eight to ten beers. Yes, I am comparing my lack of sleep to beers. When I don’t sleep enough I do feel inebriated. How bout some coffee and reading back on this to see what I’ve got.

Wow, that was intense. I ended up vomiting out that political stuff while I went and read through. I think that’s been stuff I wanted to spew for awhile. Please, if you comment, please don’t try and change my mind on the politics. Please don’t. I’m not talking lightly about how badly the politics is affecting me, so please don’t. I don’t want a debate in the comments, that’s not why I’m writing all this. If you disagree with me, just move on. I don’t think my readers are the type to troll the comments like on big sites but for my peace of mind I had to throw that in there.

I know deep down that this too shall pass. I haven’t been well and that’s a big part of the depression. The only time I see people is when I go to the gym and I haven’t been well enough to go for awhile. Jayden is fantastic company but he can’t talk to me and he can’t hold me. I know this is a rough patch and things will get better, but I’m just not sure better is enough anymore.

Was about to publish when I thought maybe I got all this out now since I’m planning on getting some audio later and it would have sucked to cry in that. See? Silver lining still there.


Filed under coffeeholic, faith, Gamma, in the news, Jayden, mental health, misty eyes, politics, rant, Sleep Deprived Fun, spoons, twitter me this

Audio: Hanging with Ro – Episode Six – Rant sing baseball and stuff

This monster is forty-two minutes. Actually I’m writing this as I upload so that number might be wrong. The forty-two might have just been how long it’s gonna take to upload. Holy crap. I have no idea how long it is. There was something I was going to warn you about, towards the end of the recording I freak out over a song but I can’t remember what I was talking about to warn you.

Topics include:

*Rant about the show Stolen Voices Buried Secrets, the main reason for recording audio.

*Baseball, a spur of the moment season preview. There’s a plug to so I thought I’d link it. Do I have that on my blog roll yet? I don’t think so. What the Fuld?

*Evan Longoria, naturally.

*Singing. Oh yes, there’s singing. Sorry.

*Brief mention of politics, but who wants to hear about that.

Twitter suggestions and things that made me laugh.

*Weird dream about a C-130

There’s probably more I’m forgetting. Grab a beverage and sit back, this is silly, as per usual.

Direct youtube link

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Filed under apple Inc, baseball, coffeeholic, dream, evan longoria, hanging with ro, Jayden, matt joyce, music, plugs, random stuff, rant, Sam Fuld, silly girl, spoons, twitter me this, working dog, youtube


I’m totally going to complain in this post because it’s my blog and I’m allowed to.

Sometimes I feel like the last one on everyone’s list of priorities. Like I can be brushed aside or something. I’m really annoyed right now because months ago there was a leak in my bathroom. A piece of the wall needed to be replaced and the repair guy forgot. He had mentioned at the time that it was crazy with the end of the year coming and stuff, so I called last week to remind him of it and let him know about some new stuff that I needed done, like a new shower head since the water here is so hard it ruins stuff. My kitchen sink faucet is also messed up due to the hard water.

He came on Friday and began work on the wall and replaced the shower head. He needed to get a piece of wood cut and the faucet and he said he’d be back Monday, Tuesday at the latest he said.

Today’s Wednesday. He hadn’t come back. I called the office yesterday and left a message. I never heard anything. I called this morning. Repair guy said he’s still waiting on the piece of wood and would be here tomorrow. I told the manager that our oven isn’t working right now either, so he put in a work order for that. So will the repair guy show up today to look at the oven? No idea. I hate not knowing when someone will show up or when something will get accomplished. Yesterday I needed a shower but didn’t know if he was going to show up. He has a key, so that’s a little awkward. I finally just gave up and put the security latch on the door so he wouldn’t be able to get in if he showed up. Now it’s looking like I’ll have at least two more days of this not knowing.

I never have issues with where I live. I absolutely love it here. I think this just hit me today because it’s just another reminder that the only person you can fully rely on is yourself.

I’m also annoyed because I haven’t gone to the gym so I can stay home for this, and I don’t want to begin a workout here only to be intrrupted. It’s like life is on hold. I suppose that’s my own doing, but I have my reasons.

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Thank you for shopping with Amazon. Would you like a bra with your Audible?

Oh cue the spam when this post hits Twitter.

I can’t begin to describe to you just how confused I was about how would save me money. I’ve always known I was a visual learner, hence being great at geometry and not algebra, so what happens when you take the vision out of a visual learner? Mucho confusion about Audible, that’s what.

Folks on Twitter kept trying to explain to me that Audible would be so much cheaper than iTunes, where I’ve been getting Audible books. Pay Audible fifteen bucks a month and get a credit. Use your credits towards books. I’m sure you’re nodding your head because it makes perfect sense to you, right?

I think I thought a credit was equal to a dollar and so I thought the fifteen dollars translated into credits or something. Is that what I thought? I honestly don’t know, but it really made no sense to me how I would save money. I never know when I can afford fifteen a month, but since I’ll soon be changing banks, I’ll be eliminating some automatic stuff so I figured now would be the time to check out Audible. After all, I could cancel it.

Going to the website made it click. A credit is worth one audio program. Ah! There was the image I needed in my head. An audio program is like holding a book in my hands and the credit is like a poker chip in my brain. Exchange. There ya have it.

So I signed up. I got in on a special, or maybe it’s always this way, where the first two months are half off. So I paid seven bucks and change and got a credit. Now, what to buy what to buy.

Abridged books should be shot. No really. The word abridged should not exist and no one should publish abridged books. What is the point? If a writer writes a book that is four hundred pages, chances are they needed each page to convey the story. So why are you going to chop pages out? Have we become such a society that we can’t even read an entire book?

Ok, that’s better after a rant. Now I can explain. I wanted “Hannibal” by Thomas Harris. It’s the book after “Silence of the Lambs” which I just finished reading again for the umpteenth time. My copy is narrated by Frank Muller. Love him! iTunes only had “Hannibal” abridged and narrated by Thomas Harris. In fact, they don’t even have the Frank Muller “Silence of the Lambs” anymore. Guess I got lucky back in the day. Anyway, I thought going directly to the source in Audible would yield more pleasing results. No. Abridged, narrated by Thomas Harris. You know what I hate as much as abridged books? Books narrated by the author.

Back up plan was the new Stephen King book, which has a date for the title and I can never remember the date. When I looked it up on iTunes just after it came out, it was nearly fifty bucks. Gulp! However, with my credit poker chip deal, I got the almost fifty dollar book for my membership dues of just over seven! Ok, totally understand the Audible now. You could put your credit towards something that costs two dollars or fifty. Best to spend it on expensive stuff, for sure. There was something I read that said some items are more than one credit. I wonder what the heck those would be?

Say I want another book before I get another credit next month. Well, as a member, I get thirty percent off the price of audio books at Audible. So there’s that, but the best part?

Free stuff!!!! That’s always a good thing. They have a section of free stuff for members. There are interviews with authors and such and even free novellas. There are also very inexpensive documentaries! Geekgasm! I got a biography documentary about Lizzie Borden for sixty cents. So if I can’t afford a book before I get another credit, there are still tons of audio type things for my listening pleasure.

One of the best things about this thing today, was being able to use my Amazon account to sign up for Audible. Talk about easy! Which leads me to my first ever real issue with Amazon. Part of my last order hasn’t shipped yet and it’s sold by Amazon, LLC or whatever. There was no contact seller info I could find, so after about ten minutes of hunting I finally found a way to contact Amazon asking for updates on why my item hasn’t shipped.

Naturally it’s the part of my order I’m most interested in since it’s a bra. Yep, a bra. I’ve never ordered a bra online. Normally, as most women will tell you, that is the sort of thing that must be tried on. But getting to the store is a pain and my old Hanes Her Way bras I bought at Wal-Mart back in 2007 are just a tad too big these days with my weight loss. So I took a chance and ordered a bra based on reviews from Amazon and I just want it darnit!

Ok phew. I’m in a strange mood. I’m still hurting pretty bad, but at least I had some fun stuff to write about. Thought about writing about wondering where things go when you delete them, but I’ll save that for tomorrow.

Nice! Published this and checked email and Amazon already replied to let me know my bra is now on backorder, with apologies and an upgrade in shipping once it’s available. Carol, weren’t we just talking about writing letters?


Filed under Amazon, Audio books, iTunes, rant, twitter me this

#NaBloPoMo – Nothing Turned Rant

I had another post planned for today, something I’ve saved for a few weeks in a bookmark, but I just don’t feel like writing about it. It’s one of those things that gets my blood boiling a bit and I don’t think I have the mental energy. So what will I write? I have absolutely no idea. I think I read somewhere once that you should never begin a writing project with, I have no idea what to write, but why not? It’s my blog and people tend to like my Nothing posts.

Oh speaking of people’s opinions on how you should write, I should have saved this link. Let me dig it up. Ok there it is. This blog basically promotes not editing your writing for typos. Can someone play that record screeching sound?

I ranted about it a bit on Twitter but since it’s in my brain again after I decided I didn’t know what I’d write, it must need mentioning. I always, always, no really always, go over what I’ve written before I hit send. Whether it be a tweet or an email or a blog post, I always check before I post. Rarely, I’ll hear a mistake in a tweet and laziness makes me send anyway, but not often. There have been times when I didn’t feel like editing and in that case, I come out and say I don’t feel like editing. Here’s why this is important to me.

My writing is a reflection on me. I take pride in what I write even though it’s not something that will go into a book and be paid for. Just like I’ll cringe if my house is a disaster and I get unexpected company, I expect my writing to be a reflection of my intelligence and my education.

I notice typos so much more now that I use a screen reader. The link above states that if the first and last letters of a word are correct, our brains fill in the rest. That’s true, I read that thing that went around with words spelled wrong in the middle and I did it visually and could read the sentence. However when your computer is converting text to speech, typos are like nails on a chalk board. I think it’s ridiculous that someone calling themselves a writer is basically saying, don’t correct your typos.

I’m not insane about perfection on my blog the way I would be if I were writing something for publication. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I don’t always follow rules. But if there’s a glaring typo? Oh I can’t stand it! I don’t hear punctuation and things of that nature and if a name isn’t capitalized I won’t know it, but if you write, ” I was watching a baesball game last night and I couldnt believe that ump’s call”, I hear those mistakes. I just had to tell my computer I meant to typo the words baseball and couldn’t. Yet those mistakes still make it in to things I read on a daily basis.

I just think fixing that typo and adding the apostrophe mean you take pride in your work, that’s all. A typo in a word is much easier to know how to fix than a hyphen or whether to use an adverb or not. Just read your work out loud if you need help catching those mistakes.

Wow, I wasn’t expecting to go on a rant. I’m testy right now. We got a note on the door on Saturday informing us that the apartment complex was giving us forty-eight hour notice to enter. I almost swear the flier had today’s date for the insurance inspection, and it was forty-eight hours in advance of today so doesn’t that make sense? I didn’t go to the gym, because while I don’t need to be home for that, I prefer to be. I leave Timmy in a room when I go out so he doesn’t escape when I leave and come home. I also don’t want to walk in the door and hear voices in my apartment. Even if I did logically know it was management, that would still be frightening.

I’ve waited all day and nothing. I called the office and no answer. It’s now 5:08pm and I’m annoyed. If it is tomorrow and I was wrong, why did the notice say forty-eight hours?

Perhaps that is why I’m being a spelling crazy in this post. I’m aggravated and hungry. I never did fix lunch, thinking that as soon as I sat down and got my hands dirty, they’d show up. Hungry and annoyed is not a good combination. Looks like I’ll be waiting for them all day tomorrow, too. Lovely.

It’s really a luxury problem. I really am in a pretty terrific mood; I just feel inconvenienced. I’ll be doing a Hanging with Ro episode featuring Erik and I really want to get that recorded before NaBloPoMo ends.

It’s been rather fun writing every day! Maybe I’ll attempt to keep it up. Ok, lay it on me, how many times did I use punctuation incorrectly? I bet there’s no typos though, unless something wasn’t capitalized. I can’t hear that unless I check the beginning of every sentence.

Yep, B just called and he thinks the date on the notice was actually tomorrow’s date. We both focused on the forty-eight hours bit. Right there, there’s another reason to check your work! It should have been seventy-two hours! Ok I’m done, really.

No I’m not. I meant to include that typos can be fun sometimes, especially in chat. My friend typoed a word (yes I meant typoed as an adverb) and I couldn’t tell what he meant to type. We ended up using the typo to describe a kind of moment in a baseball game. In that case, typos are fun.


Filed under NaBloPoMo 2011, random stuff, rant, screen reader, The Nothing, twitter me this, writing

Financial security shaken

I really miss the days when I was healthy and self supporting. Relying on the government for my security comes with its own set of self esteem killing issues and today it’s made worse with the possibility that Social Security checks won’t go out in August.

Is this a ploy by the president to prompt action? I sincerely hope so. However did he think about the fact that this statement would strike fear into the hearts of those of us who are sick and need help?

Today has been somewhat blah anyway. I can’t believe just how much writing one piece completely zapped me. I tend to forget that I am, indeed, disabled. I’m a quite high functioning blind person but when it comes to the MS? It’s such a land of the unknown. I know my eyes don’t work. That never changes. It’s been this way for over three years now. But I am never prepared for the onset of a fatigue when it hits and I never know when something like writing an article will bring it on.

There was a lot more than just writing, obviously. It was a whirlwind couple of days that brought on a deluge of emotions and questions and doubts. Mix that with some humidity, bake at 100 degrees and bam, hellos fatigue pie.


I don’t know. 😉

My brain is apple sauce today and finding out about about the possibility of no check in August has tipped me over, especially after spending the morning budgeting.

If saying that is a ploy, Mr. Obama, I hope it works. I also hope that next time you might think about what that kind of statement will do to those of us who rely on government help. Most of us hate that we have to rely on you, trust me. Most of us wish we could bring in our own money and only have ourselves to count on.

This post is all over the place but I don’t care. I’m all over the place and it’s my blog so it matches me. I wish I could go scream at trains, but it’s too hot and there’s no indoor trains. Hey, at least I have my humor.

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Filed under humor as coping skill, in the news, politics, rant, spoons

Update: Guide dog in trunk story

Click here for my first post on this story.

It turns out the cabbie’s license was revoked after he told a blind woman to put her guide dog in the trunk of his cab due to his dog allergy. Thanks Carin, for the update.

I’m glad action was taken against the cabbie for this cruel incident. However, the story does not end here. As I ranted about in my first post on this issue, the handler is equally, if not more so, to blame.

She could have turned this into a learning experience for the cabbie. We know nothing about him, except that he has K9 allergies. We don’t know if he was incredibly ignorant, as well as being cruel, or if he really just didn’t see what the big deal was. Who knows. Most of us have the first reaction of, how could you put any living thing in the trunk of a car, but we all know there are all kinds of people in this world.

Could he have learned from this situation if the handler had done what she should have, explained the laws to him, informed him about animal cruelty, went back into her home and filed a complaint after canceling or rescheduling the appointment she was late for. We’ll never know, since she allowed her dog to be placed in the trunk.

Carol and I were discussing this and when we talked about who was the one to lift the dog into the trunk, we were sickened to think that the handler must have done it if the cabbie was so allergic. Repulsive.

This cabbie might have been suspended for the suggestion had the handler not gone along with it. The cabbie might have been educated after being reprimanded. Instead, he’s lost his job and the article about it still places all the blame on him, turning the cruel handler into a victim simply because she’s blind.

There are rumors the school is investigating, but since nothing is solid I won’t name the possible school until we know more. Hopefully we will find out more.

What are your thoughts? Am I strange to feel some sympathy for this cabbie’s ignorance? Perhaps I try to find good in people and hope he isn’t really as cruel as we all think he must be. I have no empathy for the handler because she can’t possibly be that ignorant and foolish. The training we receive teaching us how to care for these dogs makes it impossible for me to believe she’s anything but incredibly selfish.

I just hope the poor dog is ok.


Filed under guide dogs, in the news, rant

Rant: How not to put a guide dog in a trunk

Today a story popped up on Twitter about a woman who put her dog in the trunk of a taxi cab.

Isn’t that really all I need to write?

Upon reading the story, I went and vomited on Twitter and then tuned into a radio stream done by guide dog handlers who were discussing the article. It was feeding time for Jayden and the radio broadcast played a song about K9 angels, I think it was.

Jayden got all excited for dinner as tears filled my eyes listening to the song and thinking about the article I had just read.

The woman was running late for an appointment. The cab driver told her he was allergic to dogs so the guide dog would need to ride in the back. Where in the back, you ask? The trunk.

So the woman put her guide dog in the trunk.

Good thing I don’t need to see the screen because there are tears in my eyes again. I wonder how many guide dogs and pet dogs are getting major love sessions tonight? I know I couldn’t stop touching Jayden for awhile after reading about this.

Here is what I would have done. First of all, when I call a cab, I let the dispatcher know I have a guide dog. That way the driver isn’t surprised when he arrives and if the driver is allergic, he can tell the dispatcher to send another cab.

If a cab driver showed up and told me to put Jayden in the trunk, he would get an open mouthed look of incredulity from me and a can I please have the name and number of your supervisor along with your employee number while I call for another cab.

I don’t care if I was late for my wedding. I don’t care if someone was dying. I would never, EVER put my guide dog in the trunk of a car.

The article quotes the woman saying something like, she had never heard her dog whine and whimper before. The dog means the world to her. She’s lost her independence now. She’s afraid to go out.

The comments to the article are lashing out at the driver. The tone of the article is negative towards the driver. The driver was wrong. The guide dog handler? What is a better word for wrong? I’m so angry I can’t even think. If you think that driver was wrong, he was a saint compared to this woman.

I can’t believe anyone would do that. Guide dog, pet, cat, alligator, whatever. It’s just wrong.

When I’m riding on paratransit, I anchor Jayden with my feet so that he’s stable. When I feel the van suddenly begin to slow, I reach down and make sure Jayden isn’t moving. Can you imagine a dog in the trunk of a vehicle?

I am disgusted. I wanted to comment on the article but I can’t use their commenting system.

I wanted to point out that the driver was only partly at fault here. The woman had a choice. Driver says, dog in trunk. What do you say? No thanks. Seriously!!!!

I’m disgusted. What are your thoughts? Let’s talk about this in the comments. Guide dog handlers, pet dog owners, puppy raisers, animal lovers or just plane human beings, go give your animals some love. Unbelievable.

Update: Cabbie’s license revoked.


Filed under guide dogs, in the news, Jayden, rant, twitter me this

Credit makes the world go round, if you have it

I don’t regret the past. That’s a lie. I don’t regret most of my past, but I do regret the part where I didn’t understand money and credit.

I remember my parents telling me not to fall for the credit card companies that would line the mall of the college campus, stalking their prey in the naive college freshman. I listened and ignored the calls of “fast money! Sign up now! pre-approved!”.

I was taught not to get a credit card until I had money to pay the bill every month. When I was twenty, I had said money in the form of insurance money after my mom’s death. I wish my previous ability to ignore credit cards had stuck with me, but it didn’t.

I didn’t work while I had that money. It wasn’t a ton of money, but more than I had ever seen. I joined a gym and hung out at the coffee shop. I took my friends shopping and out to dinner. I finally opened up a credit account at a department store when I was stalling for time with a friend who’s surprise bachelorette party was being prepared.

I injured myself at the gym but couldn’t prove the injury happened there. Turns out the only way to get out of that membership had been to either sell the contract or die. First strike on the credit. Soon enough the insurance money ran out and I couldn’t pay the credit card. Strike two.

Enter the start of my drinking and working low end jobs and what little money I did make went for rent and bills and alcohol. When I was in my early twenties, I wasn’t thinking about my future.

I take total ownership of those mistakes. I’m lucky I didn’t do more damage by taking out a loan for a car or opening up more than the gym membership and the credit card. Unfortunately, let’s start adding in medical bills since my jobs didn’t carry medical insurance and suddenly a couple strikes on my credit turned into thousands of dollars.

After I got sober I began working on making those financial amends. I was cleaning up the wreckage of my past, still feeling lucky after hearing stories of others who had hundreds of thousands in debt. My situation wasn’t that bad.

Unfortunately I got sick when the MS struck in 2006. I had just changed jobs, having left a good company for a better one. Health benefits had not kicked in yet. More medical bills.

I was denied disability twice and Gamma was supporting me. I went back to work, figuring my disability must not be bad enough if the government and family were urging me to work. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake before of not having health insurance so I pushed through forty hour work weeks to carry insurance. The MS was angry and struck again four months later and I was blind.

At that point I had payments set up again, once again working on clearing up old debts. I got a low limit credit card to start building credit. I bought eyeglasses with it and was blind the next day. I had good insurance but not good enough. Soon the medical bills started pouring in from the two and a half day hospital stay I underwent while they tried to restore my vision and figure out why MS had taken both my eyes.

No matter how hard I kept trying, more just kept adding up. I no longer work and no longer bring in a good amount of money. They want thousands of dollars I will just simply never have.

I’m not trying to say woe is me or this isn’t my fault. I still take ownership of the mistakes I made in my youth but I can’t understand why I am penalized so much for this. It’s still not hundreds of thousands of debt. In fact it’s so little debt I was advised not to file for bankruptcy because my debt isn’t big enough.

So why then, does Verizon require a $400 deposit from me to start an account? Maybe that doesn’t seem like a lot to some people, but it’s huge for me. I was told their lowest deposit is $125 and then jumps to $400. I can’t help but think that if it hadn’t been for all the medical bills, my deposit would only be $125 because of the mistakes I made when I was younger. I could live with that.

The thing is, my current phone is dying. A year after I went blind, I got a good tax return. I’ll never get one again since I can’t work. I was able to purchase the only phone T-Mobile had that was compatible with Mobile Speak, a screen reader for cell phones. Since I was at the end of my contract, I got a good deal on the phone. I spent $295 on Mobile Speak and my sighted friend had to install it on the phone for me.

It worked well enough. I was able to scroll through my phone book and do text messaging. I didn’t carry a data plan because it was too expensive.

That was two years ago and now my contract is up. Right on cue, the phone is dying. If it’s not on the charger, it turns itself off. Not exactly a reliable phone to take out with me and for safety purposes, I need a working phone.

If I stay with T-Mobile, I’ll need to find another phone compatible with Mobile Speak. Since Mobile Speak has been upgraded, I’ll have to pay additional money for the upgraded license. I’ll have a phone that will fulfill my basic needs but constantly crash since the program just doesn’t seem very stable. I could go that route but it just doesn’t make sense.

The only phone accessible to the blind out of the box is the iPhone, just like all other Apple products. Verizon has it now. In order for me to sign up with Verizon I have to pay that $400 deposit up front. I’ll get it back after twelve months of on time payments, which I’ll make because I am a responsible adult. I’ll have a phone that is reliable and completely accessible to me as a blind person as well as all kinds of apps that can assist me as a blind person. The iPhone just makes sense.

I don’t have all that money up front. I’ve been saving since I heard Verizon got the iPhone. I was expecting maybe a $200 deposit. But $400? Wow. This whole thing has really got me feeling down. I feel like I’m being lumped in with irresponsible people and I’m not one of those. I budget and am good with money. I pay my bills. I don’t live outside my means.

Hopefully I’ll be able to swing things and get a phone that works for me, maybe by mid month next month. We’ll see. I’m cutting everything out aside from the absolute necessities like food and things for Jayden. I get a massage every three weeks but it’s not just a fluff and buff make you relaxed massage. I get it to ease my pain and make it bearable. I’m canceling that until I can pull the money together for this phone. It’s frustrating, but it’s what you gotta do, right?

I’m not blogging this to make anyone feel bad for me. I’m not blogging this to share my woe is me tale. I’m blogging this because I’m angry. I’m angry that only those with money get to keep it and get more. I’m angry that being sick is not differentiated between irresponsible and criminal. I feel like I’m on probation for a crime I didn’t commit. That might sound dramatic, but what are you supposed to do when things happen that are out of your control?

I’m just really down about all this because this phone is not a luxury. I’ve drooled after the iPhone since it came out in my sighted days but it was more than I needed so I wasn’t willing to spend the money on it. Now I lust after it because of how amazingly accessible it is. I look at it now as a blind person and think wow, that phone will work for me without additional software. It can do a lot for me from the accessibility side of things. For me, the iPhone isn’t just cool, it fits what I need perfectly. It will even talk to my computer, something any other phone wouldn’t do.

I’m just angry at this whole situation. I’m angry for the people who decide not to even try with credit cards, going only by cash so they don’t get sucked into the credit hole and even they are penalized because they have no credit. They’ve never defaulted on a thing in their life but they are still penalized. I’m angry because the mistakes I made were minimal in comparison to the holes a lot of people are in and couple with my stupid health problems, I’m screwed for life. I’m just angry. I’m not trying to by some thousand dollar computer that I’ll have before I ever pay a cent. Seriously, who doesn’t pay their cell phone bill? Don’t we all need a stupid phone? If I can’t pay for something, I cancel it. I’m not gonna cancel my phone. I’m not gonna default on that. But because of what I look like on paper, it’s assumed that I will.

Fine, assume that. But then just make me pay for my service before I use it. Have a pre-pay option. Let me buy the phone and pay for a month up front. Then make me pay before I use it the next month. They have an unlimited plan anyway. I plan to use it. Why can’t I just pay for it up front? Then you’re losing nothing.

I could go on about this forever. I’m just feeling really depressed about it all. “The system”, “the man”, whatever you want to call it, screws good people in my opinion. I’ll get the phone at some point. I’ll just have to do without some things for awhile. I’ve accepted it in a way but it still makes me feel like a useless dirder.

Oh yeah, someone on Twitter suggested contacting Verizon’s disability department. They only help you with home phone service. What, they assume that disabled people never leave the house? Hmmm, those people don’t need a mobile phone; they never leave the house. That’s probably not what they think, but that’s how it feels. I am afraid to leave the house right now, thanks to a non working cell phone. Arrrrrrg.

I’ve gone on long enough. I just had to get this out there. Maybe someone else is feeling the same way and they’ll find this and know someone else out there feels it too.

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Filed under accessibility, apple Inc, assistive technologies, cool product, Gamma, gratitude, rant, screen reader, sobriety, spoons, twitter me this