Category Archives: rambles

December’s Audio Books Et Cetera

I’m fighting a migraine and it’s my birthday (12/30) as I write this and I’m waiting for my requested birthday dinner of 5 Guys, Burgers and Fries but my stomach is a little queasy from the migraine so no fair. December has not been kind to me. I’ve got a mystery bug that sent me in a panic to the neurologist after I almost passed out on stage while singing in the Tucson Girls Chorus 30th Anniversary concert. I thought for sure my MS was in one hell of a relapse but my MRI was clean, so the neuro tested me for an evil virus which I was sure I was dying from but that came back negative so the neuro sent me to my primary care doc and turned the mystery over to her. I see her next month. the neuro thinks I’ve got a bug that’s exacerbating normal MS symptoms like fatigue and dizziness. I get super breathless and light headed with the slightest of elevation changes. I’ll have a day of feeling better and then the next day I’m back to square one. Sitting in a normal chair is difficult since I feel like I’m going to topple out of it. I worked on my novel in the first part of the month after taking a week to recover from NaNoWriMo, then this bug hit and I’ve been useless. That’s about all I’m going to say on that right now since I’m fighting a depression that would love to grab hold while I’m weak so let’s move on to books, shall we? Oh, I checked my stat counter today to give me the motivation to care about this post and you’re still reading, so I’ll keep writing. comment sometimes, will ya? I’m fragile. tee hee. A ear end book recap/top ten list is coming at the beginning of next year.

*Seven books this month*

106. “The Twelve: A Novel” (The Passage Trilogy book 2) by Justin Cronin – narrated by Scott Brick

finished December 31

Ok so I really don’t think I’ll be finished with this on December 31 but it’ll be damn close and it’s a long book, as was the first book in this trilogy, so I’m counting it since I’m over half finished as of today, the 30th. Book two has been so much better than book one, which was good but very draggy. Lots of blood. Lots and lots of blood. Not quite your typical post apocalyptic. The third book is out next year and I’ll definitely read it to see how the trilogy concludes. And, Scott Brick. Need I say more?

Ok now I’m writing this on December 31 and last night the book started having an X-Files feel. Oooooh! Government conspiracy in the apocalypse? yes please!

Ok so it’s December 31 and I’ll be finishing this book tonight. I haven’t been able to put it down all day.

@jccronin

105. “The Passage” (The Passage Trilogy book 1) by Justin Cronin – narrated by Scott Brick, link Adenrele Ojo and link Abby Craden

Finished December 26

After I tied Ricardo up and made him read my favorite zombie trilogy back-to-back, he told me about this series, narrated by Scott Brick so I decided to read it since it’s Scott Brick and I kinda felt bad for abusively forcing Ricardo into that zombie series even though he did like it.

‘passage’ was good but after the first part, I was very angry and I can’t say why because spoilers but the book redeemed itself and I stopped being angry. Ricardo said he liked the second book better and I have to agree. This book was super laggy with navel gazing, a publishing term I just learned from my friend Lauren which means talking about stuff that doesn’t matter. On and on some passages (hey, passages, the Passage har har) went. Just get on with it, I thought often. It was a good book though. Very reminiscent of Stephen King’s “The Stand” but with a lot more blood. A lot.

The two female narrators read brief segments, the second of which being diary entries. As a warning to the listener, Scott Brick interrupts the second woman with things like, missing pages or illegible, and it made me jump to hear his voice suddenly haha.

good book, but there were times I wanted to skip through or just stop reading all together. Be patient, and I don’t think you’ll be sorry if you like bloody post apocalyptic thrillers.

104. “Daughter of Smoke and Bone” (Daughter of Smoke and Bone book 1) by Laini Taylor – narrated by Khristine Hvam

Finished December 17

I put off reading the Justin Cronin books because my friend Lauren wanted me to read this with her and would you believe it, she kept stopping reading it? I mean, my goodness. She’s reading it again now though which is good since I can’t wait to talk about it.

This book reminded me a lot of Diana Rowland’s kara Gillian series, but for young adults. It has an awesome fantasy element, angels and demons in an urban setting, with portals into other places. Oh and the protagonist has bright blue hair and tattoos. What’s not to love? the writing is absolutely exquisite, with passages that made my breath catch in my chest they were so hauntingly beautiful. then in the next breath, the characters would do something funny. It’s the perfect balance of beauty, humor, magic, world building and character development. I can’t wait for the next two books, which I bought with iTunes gift cards my uncle and aunt gave me for Christmas and my birthday. Weee!

Just wait until you find out what the wishbone is for…oh and the teeth…

This book is the closest to my novel that I’ve read since I began writing it back in November, well except for the achingly beautiful prose which mine doesn’t have yet in this first draft. Muahhaha!

@lainitaylor

103. “Champion” (Legend book 3) by Marie Lu – narrated by Steven Kaplan and Mariel Stern

Finished December 14

What an excellent trilogy! Bleak dystopia, heart breaking romance, awesome narration and the most epic fighter jet scene I think I’ve ever read in a book. Highly, highly recommend this trilogy if you like YA.

102. “Prodigy” (Legend book 2) by Marie Lu – narrated by Steven Kaplan and Mariel Stern

Finished December 10

Wait, the epic fighter jet scene, that was in this book, not book three. Why, why do I not write stuff about these books right as I finish them? I seem to remember at least jotting down notes. My brain this month, blame my brain.

I think all I’ve got is so good, go read, so good haha. click the links I provide to Audible and read about the books there, what do you think I am, a publisher’s summary blog? Haha! Ok I think I need dinner. Loopy much? Books? What? Oh right, books. I think the first book in this trilogy is in November’s book post.

101. “Kill Shot” (Icarus book 1) by Aria Michaels – narrated by Rhiannon Angell

finished December 9

This was a daily deal and I wish Kate Rudd had narrated. It screamed for her voice. the narrator was ok but there were two characters she did super high pitched that made my brain throb.

It was an entertaining read, though several times i found myself thinking, was this book self published? There was a glaring error of continuity at one point, where these teenagers are hunkered down in the basement of the high school after this solar flare causes all hell to break loose, and they’re in the basement for days. When the protagonist has to venture out she thinks to herself how different everything looks from when they walked to school that morning. *record scratching sound* Nooooo, back up and read what you wrote. Didn’t realize they’d be in the basement that long or something?

turns out the novel was self published. the reviews on the book are from people who were asked to review the book by the narrator. It all makes sense. I’ve got nothing against self publishing, but I’d like to see this book and the sequel get a traditional publisher and professional editors. Just a good polishing and this book would shine.

Ooooh, I did jot a one word note on this book: anyways. The characters kept saying it and that word is one of my pet peeves. Also, everyone kept saying the protagonist’s name. How are you feeling, name? How’s the weather, name? Name, what should we do now? And not her full name. Her nickname. It got so old! I still enjoyed the book though; I can’t lie.

@AriaMichaelsYA

100. “A Dangerous Fortune” by Ken Follett – narrated by Michael Page

Finished December 5

Ken Follett at his best, wow. This was such a good book. This book takes us into the inner workings of the banking world of the late 1800’s. It shows what happens when families have too much power and will do anything, anything, to keep it. Ricardo recommended this book and I could not put it down. Excellent!

***

Happy New Year and happy wedding day to Evan Longoria!

@Evan3Longoria Anyone who says they weren’t nervous on their wedding day is a liar! It’s a great kind of nervous! Excited to see my bride @jaimeedmondson. from Twitter for iPhone Dec 31, 2015, 12:07:17 PM

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Filed under 2015 Monthly Audio Book Lists, Audio books, birthday, Choir, doc, evan longoria, family, gratitude, humor as coping skill, iTunes, new year, rambles, spoons, twitter me this, writing

Even in my morning desire to rage, I didn’t have the urge to smash it like a bullpen phone.

Welcome to another episode oF *CROWD CHANTS THE WORDS* SLEEP! DEPRIVED! FUN! WITH YOUR HOST, RO, THE RAYS DUCHESS OF THE ARIZONA TERRITORIES!

I HAVE THE TIARA TO PROVE IT.

NO REALLY, I DO. I WAS SERIOUSLY TEMPTED TO WEAR IT TO MY LAST STEROID TREATMENT YESTERDAY. I HADN’T HAD THE ENERGY TO BATHE THE DAY BEFORE AND BLOW OUT MY HAIR SO I STUCK MY RAYS CAP ON YESTERDAY AND ALMOST PUT THE TIARA ON OVER IT. I THINK I HAVE EXPERIENCED A LITTLE OF WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE IN A MANIC PHASE. I MENTIONED IN YESTERDAY’S POST THAT I LISTENED TO THAT GNARLES BARKLEY SONG CRAZY ALL THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL. JUST ON REPEAT. THE DRIVER WAS A SPEED RACER TOO, SO IT WAS A SERIOUSLY FUN RIDE TO THE HOSPITAL. I KINDA WISH I HAD WORN THE TIARA.

Davis just informed me on Twitter that I was yelling. I hate it when I knock caps lock on and don’t notice it. Was I yelling in this post? Well, it would fit. I’m feeling crazy again this morning as the hours tick by. I don’t know for sure when I woke up. I try not to check the time so I don’t obsess but then I needed an ibuprofin and I always note the time when I take one since I take the 600mg pill and I don’t want to overload my kidneys. When I checked the time it was 3:00am and I had been laying awake for quite awhile. *groan*

So I lay there some more and then just gave up and got out of bed. I ended up reading through all my short stories here when I grabbed the link to the archives page to send to my new neuropathic friend. (His title. I like it.)

My writing schedule has been killed these last two weeks with all the medical stuff that came up so suddenly. I don’t know how I’ve managed to get a post up every day for NaBloPoMo. I’m sure the last few don’t make much sense. At least this morning I’m co-hearing ok that’s me trying to use Dictate on the Mac to spell a word and it’s just not working. Coherent There we go! Oh, it’s ent not ant.

Did I already write that I see the neurologist today? Maybe I’m not coherent if I already forgot what I’ve written. I’ve mentioned it on Twitter so that might be where I wrote it. this is why I shut Twitter down when I’m working on the novel haha.

It’s only 5:12. My alarm is going off in just under two hours. At least it’s not a three hour infusion today with travel to and from the hospital mixed in. I’m hoping to talk to my friend Shupa this afternoon after I get home. I’ve been drawing on her strength the last few days without her knowing it. Sometimes you just reach out through the ether to people who understand what you’ve going through.

I can’t quite seem to get silly like I have in past sleep deprived posts. Hmmm.

You know what sucks? Steroids. usually they’re awesome. this go round? Not so much. usually they increase your apetitie. Oh God I can’t type that word hahaha. Apetitie. What? Ok is a brain lesion effecting my finger nerves? Appetite. Ok had to type it super slow. Anyway, usually food is awesome right? I love food. And in the past on steroids when the hunger would hit and it hits fast, it was fun to wolf down food and appease the hunger monster. I mean it comes on FAST. It’s like, you better feed me now bitch, or there’ll be hell to pay. but yesterday? Hunger hit, had to eat but the thought of food was disgusting. I had my usual lunch at about 3pm after I got home and had to clean up cat mess and it was like forcing down my turkey and radish sandwich that I usually love. Then I went and got a light massage, therapist going easy on me just to help relax the muscles but not exacerbate anything. I had told B before my massage that I had no idea what I might want to eat after so I’d just make PB & J. I mean one can always eat PB & J right?

When I got home I decided I wouldn’t eat. But then the hunger hit and there was no choice. I had to force down that PB & J. I am not enjoying this.

My vertigo is pretty bad. I think if my eyes worked, I’d be noticing some vision issues. It’s hard to explain what I feel since I can’t see, but I feel my eyes trying to do something. It reminds me of the nystagmus I had as a kid. That’s where your eyes vibrate. It used to happen to me at night when I turned the lights out to sleep. I’d have to turn the bedside light on and stare at it to make my eyes stop vibrating. That’s almost how they feel now.

So I don’t know how much success the steroids were. I don’t know if the doc will order another MRI. Several have asked me that. I didn’t have a second MRI in the past after steroids, but that was after being treated at the hospital, so who knows what Dr. v will want. I’m looking forward to this week being over but I am grateful I see him today.

I’m just plopping my hat on today. Don’t worry, I won’t put the tiara on. I am becoming one of those people who goes out with hair overdo for a wash. Nooooooo!!!! I just have not had the energy to shower after treatment this week and I can’t do it in the mornings because bathing takes all my energy. So…body spray it is! I hope I don’t stink. I don’t think I do. I haven’t sweat. It’s been really beautiful here weather wise.

So I’m just sitting here drinking coffee, flipping over to Twitter and carrying on conversations. The heater is on. the air from the vent in my den is so loud I have to adjust the volume of my screen reader when it turns off and on .

Oh no, the hunger wolf is prowling. I’d really rather have breakfast close to the time I’ll be leaving to my appointment but when this wolf gets hungry, it gets really hard to ignore, like a dog who is demanding attention. I think I only have one more bowl of Special K left in the box. *sob*

I’m going to get some green tea later with my prescription. My massage therapist said green tea is good to help the body adjust after high doses of steroids. I didn’t ask how he knows that. Maybe I should see if I can get ARod on the line for his tips. Bah ha ha! I assure you my phone is safe from harm. Even in my morning desire to rage, I didn’t have the urge to smash it like a bullpen phone.

Dammit hungry. Maybe I can manage a slice of bread with some peanut butter. Hmmm. Yeah that sounds good. I’ll go try and eat that and report back.

Ok, that was pretty tasty. I stuck a half a banana on there. Jayden was happy with this development. A taste of peanut butter and a half a banana? Nom.

Only problem is I forgot to take a Zantac this morning. Steroid heartburn sucks. Just popped one so hopefully it’s not too late.

I think I’m done rambling about nothing. I’m getting sleepy. Go figured. Three hours till I leave for the doctor. Tick Tock.

Today’s song of the day:

I really like how WordPress handles youtube videos now. Just plop the link in and WP does the rest.

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I Chose to Keep Scully

Hi everyone!

{silence}

hello?

{crickets}

*Sigh*

Hello? (hello…hello…hello…)

Well, it looks like I’ve lost all my readers again. Serves me write for being a terrible blog poster. I haven’t even finished writing about my St. Pete trip. In my defense though, this summer hasn’t exactly been the smoothest as far as my health goes. You know what though? That’s not a great excuse for not writing, especially since right now I’m writing this post to force myself to stay put and not move my tortured body for a little while. Luckily my forearms don’t hurt. That’s when it’s really tough to write. My friend Liz inspired me to post an update, so that I shall do.

I’m forcing myself to rest my body because for the last month I have been purging and packing the apartment. B and I are moving into a rental house tomorrow. Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya! Tomorrow! Multiple musical notes emoji. That’s what I hear when the um, emoji that I assume has multiple musical notes is tweeted, mostly by Josh Groban. Ro, stay on point man.

Anyway, so I have been furiously working on the apartment getting it ready to move. The stuff in it, not the actual apartment. I’m learning how to become a minimalist, which is basically just, don’t keep every freaking little thing you ever owned in your entire life. Objects don’t have feelings. It is ok to throw them out. I um, Googled, “how to become a minimalist,” that’s how I know my teddy bear didn’t cry when I put him, it, in the garbage bag. That teddy bear is the only thing I regret throwing away. Out of the loads and loads of stuff I threw out or donated, I’d say that’s a win for me. It also really helps that anything that had no texture that brought back a good memory was thrown out. That means all papers and pictures, gone. Poof. I found a lot of great things I had forgotten I had and most of the things I kept filled one big Rubbermaid container and were trinkets from childhood and my teen years, like my Mulder and Scully Barbie dolls. I kept Scully but not Mulder. *Gasp* Oh hush, they weren’t in their box and the Scully doll looks cooler. What? Oh you thought the title was in reference to Vin Scully? No, this post has nothing to do with baseball for once.

OMG did you know cigarette smoke never goes away? I am so glad I quit smoking. I found a robe I love and even after washing it, I still smelled stale smoke. Yuck!

B is coming home in about forty-five minutes to take me to the house so I can check it out. It will be my first time there. I agreed to this house without ever stepping foot inside it. B looked at it from the outside twice and last night was his first time inside the house. We were on the phone as he did a walk through. I’m super excited! I am going to have my girl cave/writing studio/workout room/guest room! I can’t wait! I don’t know which of the two spare rooms it will be yet, either the green room or the purple one. (The owner of the house raised kids there. We’re the first renters.) I’ll pick the room today. I can’t wait! Oh, and the thing that sparked the move, washer and dryer. Inside. No more lugging laundry out in the heat!

I’ve set up some pretty major writing goals for myself after I get settled into my office girl cave quiet room. perhaps this is the first of many things I’ll be writing in the next couple of years. Here’s hoping!

Ok, must get dressed in leave-the-house clothes. Finally get to check out the house I’ve been dreaming of for a month! Jayden will have a yard with a wall. No javelina! Oh man I can’t wait! Now to make it until tomorrow night when I’m hoping to have showered off the day’s grime and be settling in to relax. We have movers thank goodness. I have movers coming from the University of Arizona through a company called Bellhops. They are an affordable moving company who sends college students to come do the heavy lifting for you. We’re just about all packed up and ready to go. Squee!

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Filed under Jayden, laundry, plugs, rambles, silly girl, Sleep Deprived Fun, spoons, twitter me this, writing

From the Desk of My Somewhat Sleep Deprived Mind

I’m going to make a sleep deprived label I’ve decided. Yep, it’s that time again so I went and did a search for my sleep deprived posts and they’re getting up there. Best to have a label, yeah? It’s currently 6:04am as I begin this post. I’ve been up for awhile and I should have seen this coming. The other morning I realized I was awake and after some time, finally checked the time. Time. Let’s write it again. Time. It was 2:30. Whoa baby! How bout no? I lay there thinking I needed to put the meditation bells on. I have this app called AmbiSci 300 and it’s got all sorts of ambient sounds. The meditation bells are perfect for lulling me back to sleep. I just stick my phone under my pillow. It takes some time but it works.

That time I fought to get back to sleep because I was fighting an infection and knew I needed my rest. This time, damn that was only a few days ago I think, I just gave up. Did that make sense? No. But do these posts ever make sense? I decided when I checked the time and it was 4am, that that was late enough to just get up and make coffee since it was pretty obvious it was time for another sleep deprived day. I usually sleep really well though I had to laugh when I read the last sleep deprived post that my doctor had asked how I was sleeping and I told her fine only to not sleep that night.

Speaking of the doctor, I love her but I’m seeing her too much lately. Did I see her last Monday? I think so yeah. I told her it was much nicer to run into her at Joe’s Crab Shack than to be constantly seeing her at the office. I’m just falling apart, ya’ll!

I have a meet and greet with my new gastro doc in April. Yep, a gastro doc. I get to have a hose in me bum. What? A colonoscopy. Weeeeeee! I had more diverticulitis even though I’m doing absolutely everything I’m supposed to in order to prevent it. Nothing with seeds. No nuts. No tomatoes unless diced. I’m even avoiding lettuce after reading that it’s difficult to digest. I take a fiber supplement. I exercise regularly. Still I got the pain. That’s just not normal, doc says. I was expecting her to say I had to have the bum hose when I got that last attack. Now It’s just the damn waiting. Hurry up and wait. It’s not even like there’s probably anything that can be done anyway. They’ll just go in and make sure nothing more serious is going on and then that’s it. Maybe I’m being too cynical but at this point in my life, after living sick for so many years I’m just like whatever dude, throw more at me. Might as well. My life is already incredibly limited and messed up, why not give me more? Bring it! Hey, maybe I’m given all the stuff that others wouldn’t be able to handle so they don’t have to handle it. Not that I believe that any of us are given anything on purpose, but sometimes it’s nice when I’m giving myself a pep talk out of depression to think that maybe I’m preventing someone else from going through what I go through even though I know that’s not true. It’s not like I went blind so you wouldn’t have to and it’s not like I have MS so you don’t have to and it’s not like I have to get a bum hose so you don’t have to because guess what? Even if you’re the healthiest person alive, you’ll still have to get a bum hose one day if you stay on top of your screenings bwah ha ha ha!

My cat, Timmy, is snoring on the couch next to me and Jayden is on the floor at my feet which is odd because usually he’s on the couch with me. All the animals are like, what are you doing up? And Jayden is probably like, when the coffee is on, I’m usually not hungry and my bladder is usually relieved so wtf? Yes, my dog thinks wtf ok?

So if the narrator you’ve always thought should narrate your memoir says you should write your memoir when you tell her that you want her to narrate it but then you’d have to write it, you have to write it, right? I also got to thinking, now that my blog is hosted, if I die, it’ll go away. That’s a terrible thought. If I die, will someone figure out where I’m hosted and pay it? Hahaha! So then I thought back to Lorelei King tweeting me to “do it, baby!” and I was like, well at least that would be a legacy but then who am I to leave a legacy? I’m no one. If I wrote my memoir, would you read it? People have told me from the beginning of my blindness that I needed to write my story. However what voice has stuck with me? The negative one. I need to shut that voice up. Maybe if I wrote a memoir I could be somewhat self supporting because damn, relying on something other than myself for income really sucks. Then again, authors are going broke since people only want to pay ninety-nine cents for a book on their stupid electronic devices so really, can anyone make money selling books anymore unless they’re Stephen King?

Alrighty then I think that’s about all I have. I think I’ll publish this thing and then go add a sleep deprivation label of some sort. It’s 6:25am, do you know where your teeth are?

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Hanging with Ro Episode Thirteen – Sleep Mic New Deprived

This is long, an hour or so. I am very sleep deprived so that made for some really rambling and silly audio. You can feel free to save it to listen to instead of the Presidential debates tomorrow night.

The audio starts a little iffy with some clipping but I made an adjustment and after that it sounds pretty good. Yay for a new mic!

Topics include but are not limited to:

* The @MuggleHustle Twitter account

* Jim Gaffigan and Hot Pockets

* Coffee and murdering a coffee maker

* Baseball

* Find out if I’m a Scientologist

*Too much Twitter, sorry

* Quick Fleksy settings/dictionary demo

* Should we have a Hanging with Ro music game?

There’s more but my brain is about to shut down from lack of sleep. Go listen if you want to know what else, k? K.

Hanging with Ro Episode Thirteen

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From the Desk of My Sleep Deprived and Hopeful Mind

I suppose it’s time for another sleep deprived stream of conscious post. And now I have to Google “stream of conscious”, because I can never remember if that’s correct. See it’s a good thing I turned to Google since it’s actually “stream of consciousness”. I think I knew that deep down but then I thought well conscious works too. I mean I’m conscious. I’m sleep deprived but I’m awake.

I woke up at around 2:30am. Mafia Guy Bladder woke me up and I checked the time because my body felt awake. You know those times? When you wake up and your body feels awake so you’re like oh it must be time to get up soon but you check the time and it’s only 2:30am? I could tell I wouldn’t get back to sleep. YOu just know. I gave it the old college try though. Lay there for an hour and then just wanted coffee.

What’s with the saying, “gave it the old college try”? Don’t we use that when we fail at something? Yeah I gave it the old college try but it just wasn’t meant to be. So are we referencing failing college?

The Rays gave it the college try but it wasn’t meant to be. They won last night but were eliminated when the A’s beat the Rangers. I don’t feel like talking about that.

I went to the doctor yesterday and had an anxiety attack. Yes! Yes? Yeah, I was happy about it. You know when your car is making a funny noise and you take it to the mechanic and it stops making the noise? I didn’t want that to happen. I mean I know my doc and she would believe me when I told her about the anxiety and depression but I’m just glad she got to see it. I had scheduled my appointment for 1:10, her first appointment after lunch. Paratransit got me there about 12:50 and they had to unlock the door to let me in. Receptionist said they’d call me up in a bit to check me in when it was time so I used the restroom, came out and sat down. I heard another paratransit and then I heard a white cane and a woman checking in. A slight pang of fear went through me, wondering if they signed her in ahead of me but I thought they knew that duh, I was there, right? Wrong. They called her back first even though I heard her say her appointment was at 1:20. Normally this kind of thing wouldn’t bother me. I know it’s usually a wait at the doc but at mine it’s never that bad. The problem is that taking paratransit means you’re always watching the clock. I thought I scheduled it fine, just like I always do. My return window began at 2:10, an hour after my scheduled appointment. It would have been fine, if it hadn’t been (for those meddling kids) a Monday first of all and then I later found out that they were implementing a new computer system as well.

By 1:30 I hadn’t been called back yet and I felt the anxiety well up. I gave myself a pep talk. If I miss my ride, it’s fine. It’s not going to harm me. I might wait awhile but it’s going to be fine. Stop panicking. Stop it. Oh crap there’s the tears. Well, at least she’ll see what I’ve been going through. When they took me back to do vitals the M.A. tried to help calm me down. I did a little and she said I’d be done by 2:10, the doctor was just finishing up and she’d be right with me. I sat in the room and time ticked by and I started dreaming of grabbing stuff and throwing it. When the doctor came in and saw me she said my dog looked worried. Not, oh hey what’s wrong, why are you crying. Your dog looks worried. My doctor is brilliant. Get me talking about my dog. Calm me down. I love that woman. She assured me I’d be done in time and we were just wrapping up when the driver got there. When you hope the driver will be late, they never are.

Long story short she checked my heart, it sounded fine, she ran through questions and I’m starting Lexapro. I couldn’t get it yesterday. Insurance problems. But of course, right? It’ll be a low dose. I’ve been on it before; it’s what they gave me when I went blind to help me ease into the adjustment. I probably should have just stayed on it. Oh well, lesson learned. I was also cleared to exercise again so yay! There is hope. I feel hope.

I do have to laugh though. She asked me if I’m sleeping. Oh yeah! I sleep great! It’s 4:40am as I write this and I’ve been awake for two hours haha!

I’m going to take a break from this for a minute. I’m hoping to record some blabbering later since I got a new mic so I don’t want to just write everything that’s on my mind and have nothing left to blabber about.

Well that wasn’t much of a break since Twitter is kinda slow. Speaking of Twitter, I has a funny. I’m going to include this in the audio too but this is just too good. Yesterday on the way to the doctor I was on the paratransit and wanted to send a tweet so I started typing in Fleksy listening with my Bluetooth headset. Unfortunately Voiceover just isn’t very loud on the Bluetooth and the paratransit van was noisy so I didn’t really hear Fleksy correctly. I tweeted the following:

@Raynaadi – I’m getting notion sink on this transport wide. #vomit

I didn’t know this until I got home and checked my mentions and Steve asked if I meant to tweet that or if it was an autocorrect fail. I thought with Fleksy you couldn’t have autocorrect fails but apparently that only works if you can really hear Voiceover well. Lesson learned, next time I’ll turn spell mode on when surroundings are loud. It sure made for a great belly laugh though when I really really needed a good belly laugh. I favorited the tweet for future laughs. I’ll definitely include it in the audio though since it’s funny to hear Voiceover say it.

It’s 4:54. I think I’ll edit and see what we’ve got.

I heard a Twitter mention and a DM. Wow both! I also have that Call Me Maybe song in my head. I started thinking about the Rays rookies dance number and now that song is in my head. *Shakes fist* damn you James Shields! I’ll get you! And your little meddling kids too! Or dog. Kids? Dog. Ding don the witch is dead! Another mention, shiny! Ok, that’s a wrap. A 30. It’s 5:16am. Do you know where your slippers are?

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From the Desk of My Sleep Deprived Mind – Again

Luckily it’s been nearly two months since I last wrote you from this desk. Carol said the last time was really funny. I somehow doubt I’ll manage to be as or more funny since I mentioned it and now the thought at topping myself is in my head. Bullocks.

Last time I had an hour and a half I think to go on, this time, a big ol’ wopping zero in the sleep department! Weeeeeeee! Don’t you love that commercial? I thought it was so annoying when it first came out but now I go weeeee weeeeeeee weeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! right along with it.

Huh? I don’t know.

Right before I decided to splatter a text document with my crazy thoughts I got spammed on Twitter. We members of the Twitter spam army like to retweet, ok computer now you can auto correct that word and I’ll go change it from retreat. Hahaha after I gave the computer permission to correct the word to retreat, I went and checked and it had corrected to “rewet”. What? Um. Really? Well then. Let me just go open a website. No just kidding.

Where was I? Oh yeah. So I got this spam right before I decided to vomit into text edit and it read, with my comment added in the RT:

@Raynaadi Bloody fascinating! RT @{Like I’d leave the username here} @Raynaadi With these help it’s actually so simple to become moving to another internet swarm http://{First rule of spam army, always remove the link}

Don’t you love when someone who speaks a foreign language uses Google translate to spam you? I wonder if some of the tweets the Americans translate into Spanish for the baseball players sound funny.

@{Spanish speaking baseball player} Thought I you pretty game on the beach with the bases. Go #Rays!

Craptastically dumb me, why didn’t I check the time when I started writing this? Ok it’s 4:12am now and I wrote that and chatted with Erik a bit click clack goes the calculator buttons in my head and I’m guessing I started this at 4:06am. That’s what I’m calling it. Calling a time, oh my, that sounds like T.O.D. Look out!

I pause to drink coffee I just brewed after deciding I wouldn’t be going back to bed any time soon. I’ve only had a few sips so no blaming the caffeine for my weirdness ok? Deal? Ok.

Just chatted with Erik quite a bit. He’s moving to Baltimore for his swanky new job. Orioles/Rays anyone? Yeah that’s what I’m talking bout bra. Yes, I called you bra. That’s what all the cool guys say. Except they aren’t cool. And I’m not a guy. I wear a bra because I’m a girl and I’m not talking about wearing guys who’s friends are calling them bra.

Haha I just read the last sleep deprived post. At the end I think I might organize my documents. That didn’t happen. I did that last week haha! It also mentions looking at the stat counter to see if the post would yield any good search results. I haven’t checked that either. I’m not going to o that now. Maybe later. So, next sleep deprived Ro, when you read this, did I check the counter?

I also mentioned the Twitter conversation about sparkling vampires with a stranger and how we hadn’t followed each other. We did start following each other and I chatted with her briefly this morning. You just have to love Twitter. I know I do. Where else can you tweet about baseball and coffee and sparkling vampires and flybys and SEO and gold bikinis and the word horngry? Oh and purple.

In the other post I looked at word count. I should check this one. Drum roll? 673 it says. We’re not even close to the last post. Great. Now I need to think of more slush to write. Maybe I’ll proof read and see if I care to edit.

Went through and drank coffee and talked to Erik and checked Twitter. When I first got up at like 1:45 no one was up but my friend Aaron was up so we chatted and I checked some things on his site and then the east coast started waking up and people started tweeting and Erik got online so I’ve been entertained. I was just about to start reading cracked.com when people started showing up to talk to. Then I decided to upchuck all over my blog.

Jayden got up as soon as I came out. Well not as soon as, but he came out when he heard the keyboard. It’s the Pavlovian keyboard. It means mom is on the couch.

I wonder if I didn’t sleep because I was too lazy this week. I probably shouldn’t try and understand why I didn’t sleep. It happens.

It’s now 5:47am. The east coasters and Canada have started to wake up so there’s been more chatting on Twitter. I almost forgot to mention here that pain isn’t what kept me up. It was in the last insomnia post, but not now. The med I’m on is really doing the trick as far as pain is concerned.

I saw my doc on Saturday night. At Joe’s Crab Shack. She stopped by the table to say hi. I had to restrain myself from asking if she’ll mail a lab sheet since she wants to check my thyroid again in three months. Something tells me she doesn’t want to talk shop while she’s about to feast on crabs. I wanted to know what she was going to eat. I’m weird.

I wonder if I’ll nap at all today. I didn’t last time I couldn’t sleep. I remember trying, but no go. It might be different today since I haven’t slept at all since before the alarm went off at 7:30am yesterday.

Ok, we’re up to 1,048 words now. Before this sentence that is. I think we’re about done, don’t you? It’s 5:57am. Do you know where your dentures are?

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It’s almost time to blog every day. Scary making!

Beginning Tuesday, I’m back to writing a post a day for thirty days. Officially it’s called, NaBloPoMo, but the last two years I haven’t signed up for it. When I first heard about it, the sign up had an inaccessible CAPTchA so I didn’t even try last year and won’t this year. I’ve heard there’s no real point anyway and the whole reason I do it is because at least I’m guaranteed an entire month of my life going down in the books.

I’m a little frightened of it this year. I just have not been able to write. Whether it be blog posts or short stories or anything. It’s almost like Twitter has murdered my inner writer. Since I can get away with just writing a hundred and forty characters several times a day, I don’t have to sit down and work. Or who knows? Maybe it means nothing. Maybe it just means I don’t feel like writing.

One of the posts I have planned next month is about the book I’m currently reading which today has me in such a gross place every time I think about it, that the thought of being a writer makes me want to run screaming. It’ll make more sense once I write about the book, but I’m waiting until I’m finished with it. At first I loved it, thought it was creative and different and then oh no oh no where’s the freezer oh but I can’t put the iPhone in there oh I think I might vomit oh no don’t do that oh are you really going to do that oh I need to turn this book off and as I read it this morning I clutched Timmy so tightly I thought I might suffocate him and of course it’s King. Who else?

The thought about not wanting to be a writer because of possible fame has come up for me before. Book tours? Appearances? I mean I know that’s thinking way big, but that’s what happens to successful writers, right? I don’t want to be famous. I want to write just to write but I don’t want to go on tours. I don’t have the energy for that. Has an author just made enough money to be comfortable without giving in to fame? I wonder.

That was a ramble. I read back on the last two 30X30 labels and last year there were a lot of posts about writing. I was so excited about it last year. I spent so much time creating. And now? It seems the best I can do is write silly blog posts about…what?

It’ll be interesting to see what comes out starting November first. It will be nice to have a guaranteed month of this year on the record. Quite honestly, I’m grateful NaBloPoMo isn’t in the beginning of the year, because 2011 has not been the best year for me.

Alrighty then, not sure why I wrote this post. Maybe to prepare myself to begin writing daily and also so the few people left reading here will come to expect a post every day starting Tuesday and I’ll need to be accountable. At least blogging doesn’t really take creativity. I’m hoping writing about daily stuff brings back the creative writer in me. I’ve got a short story to write. The block needs to go. Last year, daily writing in November corresponded with me writing a whole novel. So here’s hoping!

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The Blow Out – Not sports, hair

Awhile back, during one of my epic phone conversations with
Carol, she told me about something she had seen on TV. Gwynet Paltro was endorsing the blow out, something to help busy moms save time.

Basically the concept is to go to the salon to get your hair dried. Your hair looks great for days. Excuse me while I laugh.

Today on Twitter that topic came up. I thought it would be fun to write about.

Here’s my take on this. I think it’s pretty ridiculous. I guess if you’re rich like Gwyneth Paltrow, why not? It gives the hair stylist some business and probably some pretty easy business. However there was a day I was at the salon and a lady was in getting her blow out. It didn’t sound all that fun for the stylist.

Yes, I go to the salon and I go to a nice one. Back in the day I wore my hair long so I didn’t have to style it. It could air dry and just be free. I got tired of long hair though, mostly because when I vacuumed, the hair on the floor wrapped around the brush and it also got in Jayden’s face a lot when we played. So I donated it to Locks of Love.

I’m still very low maintenance. The way I see it, if you get a good cut and you tell the stylist you want it to be easy to style and he or she actually listens to you like mine does, you’ve got it made.

I give myself a blow out. I blow dry it or use a flat iron on it when it gets a bit longer. It lasts until my next washing. I don’t use product except this Garnier hair milk stuff Carol turned me on to. A dollop in the hair after a shower, good shampoo and conditioner and when I give myself a blow out I’m good to go.

So how often are women going to the salon for a blow dry? It floors me. I understood the ladies of the past, with those crazy hairstyles they had to wear. They’d go to the salon for a “set”. But those were crazy styles with pins and hair spray. It makes a little more sense to spend the money on that.

But a blow dry? Really?

Maybe I’m just being a reverse snob, like my mom used to call me. Maybe someone can enlighten me. to me though, keep your hair healthy by not using a ton of heat and product, get a good cut from a stylist who understands when you say you want to style it in five minutes and you’re good to go.

I used to get really cheap cuts back when I could see to spend the time to style it. Now, it’s worth it to spend a little more every two or so months on a hair cut that is easy and grows out well.

Maybe the women just like that after the salon smell. I like that. I’m not paying money three times a week or however often they go, just to have that smell though. I just don’t get it. Do you?

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Sleep deprived rants, rambles and nothings

*This is long*

I haven’t done year ago recaps the last couple days because I didn’t write any last year. Today I feel like writing a rambling post because I got no sleep last night and my brain is apple sauce and I need something to keep me awake to I’m able to sleep tonight. My wireless keyboard is being a bitch and I don’t know why and I really want to be on the couch grrrr.

Back on my desk chair and it’s kinda funny because I have a laptop. But using it as a laptop would require unplugging stuff. Kinda dumb, maybe I should get a desktop next time.

You know what’s gonna happen? I had all this stuff I wanted to rant and ramble about and now that I’m writing it’s gonna go away I know it. Maybe I should start with why I got no sleep.

Yesterday I slept till ten which is unheard of for me, but I did. Saturday morning the neighbor’s dog woke me up at 6:30. I don’t know if the neighbors are home when the dog is screaming. If so, how do they sleep through that? I think that started the dominos falling since I slept forever yesterday morning. So I didn’t fall asleep as early as normal last night. I think I drifted off around 11:30. I sleep with one ear plug in. Yeah, one. Started when we got Spinelli because when she was a kitten, she’d play with toys at all hours of the night. I mostly sleep on my right side, so I stuck an earplug in my left ear. I’ve just kept it up because I’m a light sleeper.

So in the wee hours of the morning this morning, I unfortunately had my non plugged ear exposed to the world. It would just happen that B would wake up and want a midnight snack. No, he didn’t have his snack in bed but our apartment isn’t that big so the kitchen isn’t that far. No, he didn’t make a huge snack which required the banging of pots or even the beeping of the microwave. All he had were cookies.

This is to the cookie packaging people. Seriously, wtf is up with your packaging? Oh, should I have put a warning on this post like I do with the Vomit Comet? I probably won’t swear, but this isn’t gonna be all oooooh cute doggy stuff.

So back to the cookie packaging people. I understand that you want your cookies to stay fresh. In fact, I appreciate that. The flappy thing on top of your package that sticks back down is awesome. My question is, will you please get an engineer to help you design a new package?

The cookies in the center of the package come out fine. The rows on the edges however, are crammed underneath plastic. The cookies themselves are housed in a very thin crackly plastic tray which the plastic bag covers around the edges so your flap has room to adhere.

Now, cookie packaging people, take your package into a kitchen that echos. Empty out the center cookies. Got it? Now, try to get the cookies on the end rows. DO YOU HEAR HOW LOUD THAT IS???? Ahem. Sorry. Didn’t mean to yell there. It’s just that when you hear that noise in the middle of the night, 3:30 to be exact, your sleep addled brain will go, what is that noise? That is not a normal noise. I must figure out what that noise is. The brain of the light sleeper will wake to find out whether the owner of the brain needs to begin fight or flight. Fire? Burglar? Ax murderer? Oh wait…no…cookies.

That folks, is why I had four hours of sleep. Unfortunately I couldn’t fall back into dream land after discovering what the noise was. I lay there for two hours then finally said eff it and got up at 5:30. Jayden was happy.

B: God you’re up early.

Me: I’ve been awake. I can’t lay here anymore.

B: Did I wake you?

Me: Yeah, cookies.

B: That was hours ago!!

Me: I know.

B felt horrible. I assured him I wasn’t mad at him; he didn’t do it on purpose. He called awhile ago to check on me, telling me he felt horrible. I told him it wasn’t his fault and to blame the cookie packaging people.

After talking with Georgie and Carol during hours that are normally very happy ones for me on a normal amount of sleep, I cancelled my ride to the gym because no way could I workout with no sleep. I didn’t want to anger the spoon thief even more. Luckily, I got a few hours of entertainment.

Here is the disclaimer I put up when linking to a Vomit Comet cast. Yeah, here at the Roof I’m pretty PG. The Vomit Comet isn’t. If you’re ok with that, then you’ll be interested in the following link. If you don’t like swearing and such, don’t click the link. I however, thought it was fabulous.

Carin and Steve recorded themselves opening the blanket, among other things. I was fairly awake while listening to that. It’s in three parts. It’s awesome. Now I’m like, what, huh, where am I? Soooo tired. Rambling blog whoo hoo!

I should hopefully get the other puppy pool winners’ stuff out soon. Hopefully.

Something in the cast, so aptly named ‘The Cozy Cast’ reminded me of something. Steve had a guy ask him once if he was angry about being blind. In the men’s room was where this question was posed. Funny. Anyway, I just got that question. A guy in the laundry room, upon finding out I haven’t always been blind asked me if that caused anger. I paused to think about it. I told him maybe in the beginning but…I was bout to launch into how my life is pretty awesome when he totally changed the subject by asking what my dog’s name is. This is the guy who asked if that’s my dog, the one I mentioned a few days ago. The anger question was so out of left field and asked in such a deadpan way, then the subject changed so abruptly, it just made for a strange interaction.

Ok what else was I going to write about? Listening to the cast gave me so many ideas and I knew I’d forget them. Oh! A thousand ways to die, I caught that show last Friday. Awesome show! It’s definitely a tv version of Vomit Comet.

Ok is this post just my response to the cast? I don’t know. It’s really windy. Like, really windy. What does that have to do with my questioning whether this post is in response to the cast? Nothing. Absolutely nothing; it’s just an observation. It’s windy.

I should put a note at the top of the post that this is long. Ok, done.

Oh yeah, the point of the anger question, as the guy told Steve was that “we” seem angry. Or, a lot of “us” do. So blinks, don’t be angry. It’s not good for your body. Accepting it sucks, especially when you go blind later in life. But as Georgie asked me when I first went blind, can you accept that some days will be harder than others? Yeah, that I can do. One day at a time baby. Don’t be angry. There’s enough anger and hate in the world.

Speaking of anger, Steve. Yeah you. You never asked me for a list of colors until you were all panicky during the cast. So now the people who listen think you asked me and I’m a slacker and never sent it. Yes, I said I was a slacker in the tweet I told you to read, but not in that sense. I meant in the sense that it took over year to get the blanket to you. But you never asked me for the colors. And also, while we’re on the subject of the panicky begging for the colors please hurry email would be great graniticness (I can’t figure out what that word was supposed to be so I’m just leaving it) of your tweets on Saturday, dude. You were replying to your brother! What was that about? Hey Ro, hurry, send the colors, hurry. Oh hey brother of mine what’s up, yeah a party sounds great. Wow dude.

Whoa, where did that come from? I was really wishing I could record after I listened to that. Because it would be so much easier to ramble in a recording. Now I’m gonna have to go fix typos in this thing and my arms hurt. I have Garage Bad but I can’t get the metronome to stop. Click. Click. Click. Aaaah! Holy wind. Like, major gusts wow.

What else did you guys talk about that had me nodding or laughing or nodding and laughing? Oh the tracking. Hahahahahahaha! Logistics. UPS sent the blanket into Canada then back into the states. I was tracking it and I got Carin tracking it and she had never tracked before. The blanket was scheduled to arrive at Carin’s on Friday. It reached Canada on Monday. So, UPS said, hmmm, you know, we told them it would get there Friday. It’s gonna get there too early. Lets send it back to the states for a bit to kill some time. That’s Logistics.

Steve, I said that on Twitter during the tracking. You stole it and said it on the cast. How dare you. Then you made fun of me for being addicted to tracking. Mean ol’ meany.

Whoa ok really it has been forever since I’ve done a post like this. Blame my sleep deprived mind and the cookie packaging people. I feel like I should talk about Verizon because I feel like a Bob Sagget comedy sketch without the swearing. Verizon. I might switch to them because AT & T bought T-Mobile. Someone on Twitter said AT & T and T-Mobile got married. There will be no reception.

Steve, see how I didn’t take credit for that joke? Yeah, it’s all over town. Scoop it out of the bay.

Lull. Lull in thoughts. Maybe that means I’m done. Wait no. So Trixie loved the blanket. I think animals love crochet. My cats sure do. I kept hoping Jayden would pop his head up when you guys said his name but he didn’t. I think he was happy I was on the couch to cuddle with with no crochet in the way. I was too tired to do that.

Arm hurts. Maybe I’ll edit and see if anything else comes to me.

Oh yeah, Alex says UPS just like Carin’s grandma? Was that who Carin? And tweeps. Hahahahaha. People, at least listen to part one of the cast if you’re ok with swearing and general rated R things. Because the thing about tweeps is too damn funny. Seriously. Whoa, upon editing, I had spelled tweeps as twerps twice. And holy crap, spelled it as twerps when I tried to write I spelled tweets as twerps twice. Wow. Twas the night before Twitter and all through the hwouse… Because if you say twerps, you’re a twerp. Tweep is just such an annoying word. Winning. Tiger blood. Warlock.

Hhaha blue. Dark blue. Black. Blue. Black. Blue. I think I see pink. Where’s pink? Oh and Carin, when you thought it said red, I think it did too. But Steve couldn’t keep his trap shut. Wow, this is really a post all about picking on Steve. Stweve. Twexit hahaha!!!!

Ok really, I think that’s it. I just really need to stay inactive yet awake. Awake because I can’t sleep or I won’t sleep tonight. Inactive because if I’m active on no sleep, it will do bad things to the MS. You know, I used to do this on purpose when I first got sober, before I knew I had MS. I would deprive myself of sleep and drink lopts of caffeine because it was a free buzz. A freelapse. This morning it was kinda fun, but now I just want to sleep. And it’s only 3:07pm. Ugh. Oh! My friend Erik is visiting next month. My best online friend of fourteen years who I’ve never met. I might see if he’d want to do a cast while he’s here. I think that would be cool.

Alrighty then, this was just a really bad post. But you read the whole thing…

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