Category Archives: quirky words

Hanging with Ro Episode Thirteen – Sleep Mic New Deprived

This is long, an hour or so. I am very sleep deprived so that made for some really rambling and silly audio. You can feel free to save it to listen to instead of the Presidential debates tomorrow night.

The audio starts a little iffy with some clipping but I made an adjustment and after that it sounds pretty good. Yay for a new mic!

Topics include but are not limited to:

* The @MuggleHustle Twitter account

* Jim Gaffigan and Hot Pockets

* Coffee and murdering a coffee maker

* Baseball

* Find out if I’m a Scientologist

*Too much Twitter, sorry

* Quick Fleksy settings/dictionary demo

* Should we have a Hanging with Ro music game?

There’s more but my brain is about to shut down from lack of sleep. Go listen if you want to know what else, k? K.

Hanging with Ro Episode Thirteen

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Filed under baseball, coffeeholic, cool product, demo, hanging with ro, iPhone, Jayden, mental health, mom, music, politics, quirky words, rambles, random stuff, screen reader, silly girl, Timmy, treat for me, twitter me this

Thoughts from a…I don’t know how to describe my mind at the moment

I wish I could blog about the last couple weeks with brutal honesty but I can’t, unless I want to completely embarrass myself, which I don’t want to do. Hahaha! I’ll just say, imagine some of the strangest things you’ve ever had to do, the weirdest you’ve ever behaved about something silly, and there you have it. It’s been an interesting start to the year, to say the least.

Things aren’t bad at least. Routines just haven’t gotten back to normal. Hopefully by next week they will. The combination of waiting on the repair guy, strange physical ailments and now B being off this week has made it hard to get back into exercising like I was, which has caused it’s own set of problems.

I can tell you this. If you exercise regularly and then stop for a brief amount of time, becoming more inactive than normal, do not, under any circumstances, chew a Pepto Bismol tablet every day for a week, no matter how badly a medication upsets your stomach. Just don’t do it. I really have no desire to explain why so just take my advice if you trust me. If you don’t trust me, still do not under any circumstances take a Pepto Bismol tablet every day for a week. I assume the liquid is just as bad if taken daily. Don’t do it, you hear?

Ok, now I feel better.

Today a question was asked on Twitter, not by anyone I follow, it was retweeted: Why do blind people have lights in their homes?

As you might be aware, we don’t have any living creature with working eyes in our homes, so why on earth would we need lights? Blind people only mate with other blind people and if they have sighted family, they don’t invite them over. Sighted people aren’t friends with blind people. So yeah, we really don’t need lights. Cats are designed to see in the dark, and blind people having guide dogs is purely a myth. No such creature exists. This blog is a lie. If I had a guide dog, he’d surely like light at night when it’s dark.

In other news, I have a crush on a man named Barbie who doesn’t exist. I think that’s the safest kind of love, right? I curl up in bed with him every night as he tries to save a town from a crazy man. When I’m tired, I go to sleep and leave him in mid step sometimes. He is who he is and I know that will never change because that’s how he was written. Pretty perfect, wouldn’t you say?

Ah, I just paused in writing this to take a shower. I still have no idea if the repair man will be here today. Story of this year so far. B had stepped out so I waited for him to get back. It was one of the best showers I’ve ever had. There’s something about a shower when you haven’t been feeling good that just feels amazing.

Ok, it’s now a one week countdown until life gets back to normal, hopefully. Clock…start…now!

PS – My computer hates the word “retweeted”. It always corrects to “retreated”. So if there’s ever a post I don’t feel like editing when I type something like, “David Price retreated me again”, you’ll know what I meant.

PSS – Can one retreat another? Can that be an adverb describing something a person does to another person? And if so, what exactly would David Price have done to me if he retreated me?


Filed under guide dogs, humor as coping skill, no no sightie, quirky words, random stuff, sicky sick, silly girl, twitter me this, workouts

Sleep deprived rants, rambles and nothings

*This is long*

I haven’t done year ago recaps the last couple days because I didn’t write any last year. Today I feel like writing a rambling post because I got no sleep last night and my brain is apple sauce and I need something to keep me awake to I’m able to sleep tonight. My wireless keyboard is being a bitch and I don’t know why and I really want to be on the couch grrrr.

Back on my desk chair and it’s kinda funny because I have a laptop. But using it as a laptop would require unplugging stuff. Kinda dumb, maybe I should get a desktop next time.

You know what’s gonna happen? I had all this stuff I wanted to rant and ramble about and now that I’m writing it’s gonna go away I know it. Maybe I should start with why I got no sleep.

Yesterday I slept till ten which is unheard of for me, but I did. Saturday morning the neighbor’s dog woke me up at 6:30. I don’t know if the neighbors are home when the dog is screaming. If so, how do they sleep through that? I think that started the dominos falling since I slept forever yesterday morning. So I didn’t fall asleep as early as normal last night. I think I drifted off around 11:30. I sleep with one ear plug in. Yeah, one. Started when we got Spinelli because when she was a kitten, she’d play with toys at all hours of the night. I mostly sleep on my right side, so I stuck an earplug in my left ear. I’ve just kept it up because I’m a light sleeper.

So in the wee hours of the morning this morning, I unfortunately had my non plugged ear exposed to the world. It would just happen that B would wake up and want a midnight snack. No, he didn’t have his snack in bed but our apartment isn’t that big so the kitchen isn’t that far. No, he didn’t make a huge snack which required the banging of pots or even the beeping of the microwave. All he had were cookies.

This is to the cookie packaging people. Seriously, wtf is up with your packaging? Oh, should I have put a warning on this post like I do with the Vomit Comet? I probably won’t swear, but this isn’t gonna be all oooooh cute doggy stuff.

So back to the cookie packaging people. I understand that you want your cookies to stay fresh. In fact, I appreciate that. The flappy thing on top of your package that sticks back down is awesome. My question is, will you please get an engineer to help you design a new package?

The cookies in the center of the package come out fine. The rows on the edges however, are crammed underneath plastic. The cookies themselves are housed in a very thin crackly plastic tray which the plastic bag covers around the edges so your flap has room to adhere.

Now, cookie packaging people, take your package into a kitchen that echos. Empty out the center cookies. Got it? Now, try to get the cookies on the end rows. DO YOU HEAR HOW LOUD THAT IS???? Ahem. Sorry. Didn’t mean to yell there. It’s just that when you hear that noise in the middle of the night, 3:30 to be exact, your sleep addled brain will go, what is that noise? That is not a normal noise. I must figure out what that noise is. The brain of the light sleeper will wake to find out whether the owner of the brain needs to begin fight or flight. Fire? Burglar? Ax murderer? Oh wait…no…cookies.

That folks, is why I had four hours of sleep. Unfortunately I couldn’t fall back into dream land after discovering what the noise was. I lay there for two hours then finally said eff it and got up at 5:30. Jayden was happy.

B: God you’re up early.

Me: I’ve been awake. I can’t lay here anymore.

B: Did I wake you?

Me: Yeah, cookies.

B: That was hours ago!!

Me: I know.

B felt horrible. I assured him I wasn’t mad at him; he didn’t do it on purpose. He called awhile ago to check on me, telling me he felt horrible. I told him it wasn’t his fault and to blame the cookie packaging people.

After talking with Georgie and Carol during hours that are normally very happy ones for me on a normal amount of sleep, I cancelled my ride to the gym because no way could I workout with no sleep. I didn’t want to anger the spoon thief even more. Luckily, I got a few hours of entertainment.

Here is the disclaimer I put up when linking to a Vomit Comet cast. Yeah, here at the Roof I’m pretty PG. The Vomit Comet isn’t. If you’re ok with that, then you’ll be interested in the following link. If you don’t like swearing and such, don’t click the link. I however, thought it was fabulous.

Carin and Steve recorded themselves opening the blanket, among other things. I was fairly awake while listening to that. It’s in three parts. It’s awesome. Now I’m like, what, huh, where am I? Soooo tired. Rambling blog whoo hoo!

I should hopefully get the other puppy pool winners’ stuff out soon. Hopefully.

Something in the cast, so aptly named ‘The Cozy Cast’ reminded me of something. Steve had a guy ask him once if he was angry about being blind. In the men’s room was where this question was posed. Funny. Anyway, I just got that question. A guy in the laundry room, upon finding out I haven’t always been blind asked me if that caused anger. I paused to think about it. I told him maybe in the beginning but…I was bout to launch into how my life is pretty awesome when he totally changed the subject by asking what my dog’s name is. This is the guy who asked if that’s my dog, the one I mentioned a few days ago. The anger question was so out of left field and asked in such a deadpan way, then the subject changed so abruptly, it just made for a strange interaction.

Ok what else was I going to write about? Listening to the cast gave me so many ideas and I knew I’d forget them. Oh! A thousand ways to die, I caught that show last Friday. Awesome show! It’s definitely a tv version of Vomit Comet.

Ok is this post just my response to the cast? I don’t know. It’s really windy. Like, really windy. What does that have to do with my questioning whether this post is in response to the cast? Nothing. Absolutely nothing; it’s just an observation. It’s windy.

I should put a note at the top of the post that this is long. Ok, done.

Oh yeah, the point of the anger question, as the guy told Steve was that “we” seem angry. Or, a lot of “us” do. So blinks, don’t be angry. It’s not good for your body. Accepting it sucks, especially when you go blind later in life. But as Georgie asked me when I first went blind, can you accept that some days will be harder than others? Yeah, that I can do. One day at a time baby. Don’t be angry. There’s enough anger and hate in the world.

Speaking of anger, Steve. Yeah you. You never asked me for a list of colors until you were all panicky during the cast. So now the people who listen think you asked me and I’m a slacker and never sent it. Yes, I said I was a slacker in the tweet I told you to read, but not in that sense. I meant in the sense that it took over year to get the blanket to you. But you never asked me for the colors. And also, while we’re on the subject of the panicky begging for the colors please hurry email would be great graniticness (I can’t figure out what that word was supposed to be so I’m just leaving it) of your tweets on Saturday, dude. You were replying to your brother! What was that about? Hey Ro, hurry, send the colors, hurry. Oh hey brother of mine what’s up, yeah a party sounds great. Wow dude.

Whoa, where did that come from? I was really wishing I could record after I listened to that. Because it would be so much easier to ramble in a recording. Now I’m gonna have to go fix typos in this thing and my arms hurt. I have Garage Bad but I can’t get the metronome to stop. Click. Click. Click. Aaaah! Holy wind. Like, major gusts wow.

What else did you guys talk about that had me nodding or laughing or nodding and laughing? Oh the tracking. Hahahahahahaha! Logistics. UPS sent the blanket into Canada then back into the states. I was tracking it and I got Carin tracking it and she had never tracked before. The blanket was scheduled to arrive at Carin’s on Friday. It reached Canada on Monday. So, UPS said, hmmm, you know, we told them it would get there Friday. It’s gonna get there too early. Lets send it back to the states for a bit to kill some time. That’s Logistics.

Steve, I said that on Twitter during the tracking. You stole it and said it on the cast. How dare you. Then you made fun of me for being addicted to tracking. Mean ol’ meany.

Whoa ok really it has been forever since I’ve done a post like this. Blame my sleep deprived mind and the cookie packaging people. I feel like I should talk about Verizon because I feel like a Bob Sagget comedy sketch without the swearing. Verizon. I might switch to them because AT & T bought T-Mobile. Someone on Twitter said AT & T and T-Mobile got married. There will be no reception.

Steve, see how I didn’t take credit for that joke? Yeah, it’s all over town. Scoop it out of the bay.

Lull. Lull in thoughts. Maybe that means I’m done. Wait no. So Trixie loved the blanket. I think animals love crochet. My cats sure do. I kept hoping Jayden would pop his head up when you guys said his name but he didn’t. I think he was happy I was on the couch to cuddle with with no crochet in the way. I was too tired to do that.

Arm hurts. Maybe I’ll edit and see if anything else comes to me.

Oh yeah, Alex says UPS just like Carin’s grandma? Was that who Carin? And tweeps. Hahahahaha. People, at least listen to part one of the cast if you’re ok with swearing and general rated R things. Because the thing about tweeps is too damn funny. Seriously. Whoa, upon editing, I had spelled tweeps as twerps twice. And holy crap, spelled it as twerps when I tried to write I spelled tweets as twerps twice. Wow. Twas the night before Twitter and all through the hwouse… Because if you say twerps, you’re a twerp. Tweep is just such an annoying word. Winning. Tiger blood. Warlock.

Hhaha blue. Dark blue. Black. Blue. Black. Blue. I think I see pink. Where’s pink? Oh and Carin, when you thought it said red, I think it did too. But Steve couldn’t keep his trap shut. Wow, this is really a post all about picking on Steve. Stweve. Twexit hahaha!!!!

Ok really, I think that’s it. I just really need to stay inactive yet awake. Awake because I can’t sleep or I won’t sleep tonight. Inactive because if I’m active on no sleep, it will do bad things to the MS. You know, I used to do this on purpose when I first got sober, before I knew I had MS. I would deprive myself of sleep and drink lopts of caffeine because it was a free buzz. A freelapse. This morning it was kinda fun, but now I just want to sleep. And it’s only 3:07pm. Ugh. Oh! My friend Erik is visiting next month. My best online friend of fourteen years who I’ve never met. I might see if he’d want to do a cast while he’s here. I think that would be cool.

Alrighty then, this was just a really bad post. But you read the whole thing…


Filed under Jayden, plugs, quirky words, rambles, rant, Sleep Deprived Fun, spoons, The Nothing, twitter me this, weather

Experimenting with more Alex

I’m trying an experiment. I just recorded Alex reading the silly little passage I wrote below. I want to actually record the crazy way I figured out how to upload the videos, but I don’t think I can record while I’m trying to upload it. I’ll try it though. If not, I guess I’ll either do another post about all that. I don’t know. I’m really tired and need to stop this. Haha! Ok here is the link followed by what is in the recording. Yeah, can’t record while I’m getting videos off the iPod. Spinelli had tried to get my attention before I started trying all this, so she got a video lol. I don’t know how good it is as I don’t think there was much light. I’m only gonna do the youtube links, as the blogger thing was just too slow.

***Hi! I’m Alex. I’m the newest voice for Voiceover, Apple’s built in screen reader. I come standard on all Apple computers. I think I’m only available on OS 10 and up, but don’t quote me on that. I’m just a computer, after all.

I was designed to sound as human as possible, and I even breathe. I’m not sure if this video is going to capture that or not. So listen closely at natural pauses.

The person who is videoing this went blind a little under two years ago. She was an avid computer user before this and she used ahem, Windows. Psst. I’ll let you in on a secret. She tought herself her Apple computer and Voiceover with no help from the sighted folk. She had heard about Windows screen readers, like Jaws. Shhh…don’t let the Apple peeps here me mention Jaws.

But, when she found out that all Apple computers have Voiceover built in, she luckily had just enough money left from her sightie days to buy one. And the rest is history. I’m even on her new iPod, which lets her take videos. The iPod Nanos all have Voiceover too and the latest one has the video recorder. So now I can finally let my voice be heard.

I say things like meow. And croissant. Pretty perfect, don’t you think? What about shhh, hmmm, psst, mmm. Yeah. How about wassup?

I also say some things weird. Like, whaaat? That’s what spelled with three letter a’s. And if you type yay a bunch of times, I sound like this, yayayayayay!

Or laughing. Hahahaha! Hehehehehehe! Hahahehehahaha! Ha ha ha ha he he he ha ha ha. The humans like to make me say this stuff, so I might as well show off.

Of course I swear. But we’re making this video G rated.

So the blog friends know that this computer’s welcome message says, Meow meow meow, kitty wants a croissant. It just kind of ended up that way because meow and croissant were the first words the human really found funny.

Ah, wanna hear how JayNoi sounds? That came from a typo. And that person got stuck with that name.

One thing I can’t say right is brrr. Or grrr. The Apple folks haven’t corrected those like they did wassup. I used to say that wah sup.

What else do I say funny? I don’t know. I’ll leave you with some silliness.

Meow meow shhh, meow meow shhh, psst would you like a croissant? Hmmm, why yes I would, mmm. Yeah yeah yeah it’s fun to hear me say wassup and meow, wassup wassup, meow. Because my human is a silly, silly girl.

Did you hear me breathe?


Filed under Alex, apple Inc, Jaws, proud geek, quirky words, screen reader, Spinelli, spoons, video, Voiceover, youtube

Doggy Countdown – Quack, a guide duck and some randomness

First, I must say UPS amazes me. Remember all that stuff I ordered on Amazon for my bathroom and the home improvement stuff? Well, the holidays really slowed things down. I’ve been tracking every day. I have an obsession with tracking. Like Arthur Weasley’s obsession with everything muggle. I even “tracked” Cortney and her cross country road trips, asking her to have her friend and then mom sign upon arrival. I am the supreme dork of dorks haha! But anyway. So finally the other day my stuff was in Phoenix. Yay! Then it all sat in Phoenix. Still in Phoenix this morning. But, sometimes it’s like they forget some steps in the tracking process, like the arrival scan here. So I checked again and bam, all of it is out for delivery, all with the time of 8:50. All from different sellers, all from different states. I have to wonder if there is some kind of alert like, Ro is getting a ton of stuff so lets hold it all in Phoenix so it gets to her at the same time. I mean, I had to go back and double check the times and sure enough, they are all 8:50. One of the packages for some reason didn’t give tracking info to Amazon, so I’ve been tracking it at UPS, just leaving the window open and reloading. Wow. Ok, seriously. Why does this fascinate me? I worked for UPS years ago. I know how it all works. I don’t remember learning about some cool alert system to put different packages from different states into one truck. That’s just cool. Ok, what is wrong with me hahaha! I’ve got my door propped open a bit so I can hear the truck. But it’s a lil chilly out. The UPS drivers usually show up here between 11 and 2 or so. Holy cow I’m gonna get a bunch of stuff all at once! A bathroom trashcan with a lid, a new set of purple and green towels, from different sellers, purple shower curtain hooks, from a different seller, and my bed set, from a different seller. It’s like my birthday and Christmas all over again! Hehehe!! Ok, I’m serously done with the UPS stuff, promise. Unless the shipment gets here before I’ve posted haha!!

Yesterday Kevin picked me up for the meeting in a fit of oh my God you won’t believe this. He stopped at the corner store, where a woman works who found out Kevin is sober and she told him she’s sober so now when he goes there they chat. So yesterday he’s like, I can’t stay, I’m picking my friend Ro up, I gotta go. She’s like, Ro? Yeah. Is she blind? Yeah. Oh my God, Ro saved my life. She spoke at the treatment center I was at, and when she said she wouldn’t trade her sobriety for her eyesight, it changed my life. I’ve been sober ever since and I got my children back. Wow. Wow wow wow. That right there just made going blind totally worth it. Wow. So, we’re gonna try and go see her at work today. I remember when I met the woman who changed my life and it was the best thing I ever got to do. I was star struck by this sober woman, who’s story I heard on a cd, and then she spoke at a conference I was at, and I got to meet her and thank her. I’m in awe that I am that woman for this woman at the corner store. Wow. The meeting was good, and I found out who’s been talking, which I already knew deep down. If I get the chance, I’m going to mention it to her. Nicely of course. But I think it deserves mentioning.

At the meeting, the topic was the “magic magnifying mind” and I got called on to share. So I said how I’m really excited to be going away to get my guide dog, and someone said, what did she say, duck? Laughs all around hahaha. Guide duck! So I continued the story and mentioned how I’m so excited to get my guide dog but I keep focusing on the laptop, because my magic magnifying mind likes to focus on the negative. Lisa flew on New Year’s Day and brought her laptop carry on, so it should be fine. So I’ll be able to bring my laptop when I go get my guide duck.

I posted that on facebook and people started talking about how a duck could be a guide and someone said a whole flock of ducks and I said we’ll need to find some duckling raisers hahaha!!

Ok, that’s enough outta me. Gonna edit and wait for my packages and try not to talk the UPS driver’s ear off about my fascination hahaha!!

Um, 42 days? I’m losing count, suppose I should have checked yesterday’s blog. Quack!

Oh, ps, Carol is coming back today!!!!! Carol and Carin back and life is complete again.


Filed under Adjustment to blindness, Amazon, birthday, Doggy Countdown, Doggy Diaries, fellowship, gratitude, guide dogs, holiday, proud geek, quirky words, random stuff, silly girl, sobriety

The Concert

Oh what a night!

L picked me up at 5:20 and I was so glad to be underway. It helped the nerves a little, since I was all dressed and ready to go. We wore white tops and black bottoms. I put some more pineapple juice with water in my water bottle for some added throat protection hehe.

We arrived at the church a little before 6 and found our places. There were pews reserved for the choirs, and we had figured out where to sit so we could line up on stage easily. The rest of our choir showed up and Miss K was working with the little ones. Oh my goodness they were so cute! The first choir was first through third graders. Then the second choir were fourth and fifth graders. They were all so cute. She didn’t work with us at all. We all warmed up just after 6 and then we sat around talking.

The doors were gonna open at 6:45 so L and I ran to the bathroom at about 6:35. We had to walk through the church lobby and holy cow it was full of people. As we were coming out, I heard my name and it was my second cousin, who found me on Facebook. He drove in from out of town just for the concert! I couldn’t stay and chat, so we went back in.

The doors opened and all the women were exclaiming about all the people walking in. Before we knew it, Miss K was asking the choirs to relinquish their seats for the crowd. They had never had such a big crowd! I knew I couldn’t stand the whole time, so I sat right on the end of the pew for the first three choirs.

they were so cute! Miss K really worked miracles with those kids. I’ve never heard children’s choirs sound that good!

About halfway through the third choir, we all went and lined up in the lobby. They were singing 12 Days of Christmas. Miss K separated the crowd into 12 and those groups had to get up and sing their number. Georgie saw me going into the lobby so she got up and went to tell me she was there and give me a hug. I was getting really nervous. One of the women said we should sing along to warm up again, so we sang 12 days in the lobby to warm up.

Finally it was our turn to get up on stage. It went very smoothly. I had told L to lay my cane down back behind us. We sang the first song, Chestnuts, and sounded great!

The dreaded Sleighbells was next. I had woken up with that song in my head. Miss K said something to the crowd about how hard the song was and we all laughed nervously.

About a third of the way into the song, I felt like I was going to pass out. It was really weird, because I felt everything, the sudden sweating, the metallic taste in my mouth, but I had never experienced that blind before, so I didn’t get the weird vision like I used to. I told myself to relax my knees but they already were. Meanwhile I’m singing my heart out to Sleighbells. I wasn’t going to let a dizzy spell stop me; I had worked way to hard on that darned song hehe! I reached over and grabbed L’s arm. After the song I said I needed my cane back. It’s not a support cane, but something about having it calms me down.

We changed things a little. Snowfall was next, and we originally weren’t in groupings for this song, but Miss K said to do groupings, so I got to sit on a stool. As the opening notes were played, I thought to myself, “this is for JayNoi”. I remembered! 😉

It sounded great! Then it was time for Uncle John. The other hard song. We got back into choral position for this one. That one went really well. We got a little messed up on the first set of wah sah wah sah’s but then after that it went great. Everyone cut at just the right time and it sounded great in that church!

After that it was time to pass the hat, to help us pay for the church. We found out on Tuesday that several of us would crowd around the piano and sing like we were just chillin at a party while the others went and passed the hats. The women were given cards with the songs and the first one we sang was Silver Bells. I don’t know this song very well, so I sang what I knew and smiled and moved my mouth for the rest lol! Then we sang Winter Wonderland, and I knew that one.

L was putting my boa on and I was like, “Merry Christmas Darling is next, not santa Baby” but everyone was putting on their stuff. I was not wearing a boa for my solo lol!

We got back to the groupings and L positioned me in front of the stool and I took off the boa. Someone handed L the mic and she handed it to me.

Oh yeah, after the hat passing, a woman came up and said, “Your Grandma asked me to tell you she and your Uncle are here”. I knew my uncle was gonna go. Grandma kept telling me all week she got a ride from someone in the neighborhood, but I could tell she was fibbing hehe.

So I’m standing there in front of my stool with the mic, and the opening notes played. All nerves were gone. I wasn’t shaking. My stomach wasn’t turning. I knew all those people were there, but I couldn’t see them hahaha!!!

I nailed it! No cracking, nothing. I was so happy! It sounded fab!

After my solo, I sat on the stool and finished the song with the mic hanging at my side. I gave it to L after, and we put our boas on for Santa Baby.

That song went great too! You could tell everyone was really loosened up at that point, and it was awesome.

For the last song, the choir spread out around the whole church. L took me down the steps and we stood up front. It’s a beautiful song. All unison, it’s called “In this very room”. It’s such a pretty song, all about how there’s enough love and joy in this very room to chase away any gloom. Lovely. One of our singers couldn’t be there, because her mom got deathly ill, so she had asked Miss K to dedicate that song to her mom. The last note hung in the air and there was silence and then loud applause. As the applause died down I could hear sniffing. Hehe! When you make an audience cry, you’ve done a good job.

Suddenly my uncle was there hugging me tight and I could hear tears in his voice. He wisked me to Grandma and she hugged me and there were tears in her voice. I think she hugged me like 5 times haha! Then my cousin who I’d met on FB was there hugging me, then Georgie and Kevin and one of my dearest friends who I wasn’t expecting and my other friend Sarah and Georgie’s boyfriend and Finally B. they were all yelling about how great I was and Kevin said he was in tears haha! Then the old piano player from the old choir with Miss K was there, and one of the mom’s of a girl from way back then.

It was hugs all around, and then Miss K was there. She said who she was and gave me a hug and I said thank you and she said thank you and I could just feel this moment, I can’t explain it. Unspoken. I’m tearing up as I write this. She is just so incredible.

I stood around talking to everyone for a bit and L and I had contemplated going to eat with everyone after, but I was covered in sweat and needed my water and hadn’t sat down in over an hour except for the stools so B and I slowly said goodby to everyone and made our way outside. the cool night air felt absolutely wonderful!

We ran back into my Grandma and cousin and uncle in the parking lot and talked some more and then I finally got to sit in the car. Ah, sweet relief!

We drove home and rehashed the concert and got stuck in the crowds from the winter lights neighborhood. I said something about rain being scheduled on Monday and B said, someone scheduled rain? Hahha!! I was so brain numb by that point.

We got home and I talked about Miss K. I guess I had never talked about her much to him. He didn’t realize I had been in her choirs before. I think he just forgot really lol.

He hugged me tight as I was going in to lay down and sid he was so proud, and how great it was to see me in my element.

Law and Order SVU was on tv, my favorite show hehe. I lay down smiling, thinking about how wonderful the night was. Eventually I drifted off to sleep.

I slept like a freakin rock haha! When I woke up I was in a ton of pain. I felt hungover. Funny how I can still feel hungover with no booze lol. I think it was probably from all the nerves, excitement, getting hot, almost passing out, and not drinking enough water before we sang.

I’m feeling much better now after going through a ton of emails and having my coffee. today I’ve gotta clean my bathroom to get ready for the home visit tomorrow!

I don’t know if anyone recorded the concert. I’m praying someone did. As soon as I know, I’ll let you know.

Thanks to everyone for helping me through all the nerves yesterday hehe. And L, if you read this, thank you so so so much for all your help during all the rehearsals and the concert! You are truly a wonderful friend!!!

I’ll be emailing the post I wrote about Miss K to her. So if she stumbles onto this one, thank you again Miss K! I had such a wonderful time last night, and it is such a joy to sing under your direction again! I can’t wait till March!

I just talked to Grandma before posting this, and she said she had such a wonderful time. She told me about this little boy in the children’s choir. Every time Miss K turned around, he started goofing off and dancing around, and then as soon as Miss K faced the choir again, he was as good as gold haha!! Grandma had a wonderful time and said I sounded beautiful. I’m looking forward to talking with l in a bit too. Ok, think I can finally post this.


Filed under accomplishment, Choir, coffeeholic, fellowship, Gamma, Miss K, misty eyes, music, quirky words, spoons, white cane

What the huh? This turned ut long

I have no idea what I’m going to write. I’m not even giving this a title yet, so that will be a mystery revealed to me when I’m done writing. I’m in a weird space today. I just commented on a blog yesterday, someone second guessing themselves, and I wrrote the painting story which I love and can normally apply. The gist is if you stand too close to a painting, you can’t see the whole thing until you back away. Normally I can apply that to my life and situations. But not right now. I have to remember that I’m in the moment, and more will be revealed. Its so easy to make sense of it when its someone else’s life.

After the whole pack rat car thing yesterday, I started feeling like maybe I’d been taken. The whole thing just seemed really odd. Yeah, the girl got lost looking for a friend’s and happened to see my car sitting there, looking abandoned. Thing is, I’m not on the beaten path. Even my Sunvan drivers have a hard time finding my place, and I had another passenger once say she never even knew this complex was here. So that got my doubts going. Then, just the way the whole thing went down. I really thought after the pack rats that they wouldn’t want the car. But it became clear that they came here with the intention of leaving with that car, paying for it or not.

Last night B went out and made sure the car was locked and the alarm was set. I’ve never seen him paranoid about his car. He said he just kinda felt like he couldn’t trust those people, like it felt like a con. I hadn’t voiced my feelings about it until he did. I said, but you saw the damage right? He assured me that he didn’t think they conned us out of the car, he saw the damage, we never would have gotten anything for it. But we both just had this shady feeling. Especially after I tried calling the girl just after they left, to make sure the guy was ok, since he backed the car out of the drive and I was worried about the brake lines. She didn’t answer, and never called back, after telling me she’d keep in touch. I had visions of hearing from her about the progress of the car, kinda like a puppy raiser hopes to hear from the dog’s person lol. But I have a feeling I’m never gonna hear from her again.

I’m pretty sure if they were shady, all they wanted was the car. And it worked out well for me because I don’t have to worry about it anymore. And I think they’ll get it running again. I’m glad I took the plate off. I’m wishing though that I had made them sign the title in front of Brian. I had it notorized months ago, so it was an open title. And when I mentioned doing a sold notice, dude was like, oh you don’t have to do that since you donated it. I’m calling DMV tomorrow just to tell them what’s up. I don’t want to be liable for that car. I tried doing a reverse look-up on the phone number, but you’re gotta pay to get details. At least I have the phone number. I can give that to DMV. But, if its pre paid, it will have no info.

I even started thinking, well, the newest finger prints will be dude’s if a crime is commited with the car. I watch to damn many crime shows.

So I’m just feeling a little neurotic about that at the moment. I kept thinking, did I mention the car on the blog? Did some reader who’s never participated here come after my car? I don’t think I ever mentioned it. My paranoia definitely gets the better of me.

On to other just random stuff. Yesterday I think Blogger was high. There were no new posts for hours, and then all of the sudden there were about eight new posts. Carin must be super woman, because she posted two blogs at exactly the same time. This morning there is only one new post, so I’m wondering if the same thing will happen.

My friend L had a Thanksgiving party last night and she posted on FB that collectibles got smashed and she won’t be having another party for awhile. I’m righteously angry for her. I will get the scoop on tuesday.

FB is really aggravating me. Someone did this group invitation so I go look at the group and it says something like, totally pointless, but if you add all your friends, you can then change the color scheme and get extra points in games. A total hack. And I’ve rejected it a million times and the notification won’t go away. Its incredibly annoying. And for some reason, I don’t get a bunch of my friend’s updates. I’m thinking about walking away, but someone told me I can’t.
I love medical shows. After yesterday there was no way in hell I was gonna put on my usual Investigation Discovery, so I checked Discovery health and caught a Mystery Diagnosis I hadn’t seen before. And I diagnosed her! I was so incredibly proud of myself. Whenever I diagnose these people on these shows before the conclusion, I’m so happy. I had the advantage on this one though. Patient presented with numbness and tingling in her foot and extreme fatigue. I of course immediately thought of MS and so did the docs. They put her on IV steroids and called it MS even though the spinal tap was inconclusive, and her MRI showed a lesion on the spinal column but not the brain. My first clue. Could it be Devick’s? But, ascending paralysis followed, so I thought Geeyon Bahret Syndrom which I can’t spell, but that doesn’t usually cause lesions. So I went back to Devick’s. And sure enough, thats what it was. But see I’ve got the advantage there, because they thought I had Devick’s when I went blind, but I tested negative for it, and didn’t have the spinal lesion. The other night I diagnosed a Dr. G too, but again, had close knowledge of the disease in question. I just love it. I’m not a doctor, but I play one on my blog.

I found an amazing blog yesterday. Is it mean that I’m not ready to share her? I just feel like I found a diamond in the rough. First I found her family blog and in it was a link to her personal blog, where she feels more free to write about her feelings and just whatever randomness plagues her. Those kind of posts are my favorite, and she’s a great writer. And I’m just not ready to share her. She’s mine haha! I did share her with Carol, but that’s as far as I’ll go. I’m mean. I’m sorry. But for now I feel like that blog is all mine to read, that only I am reading, that she’s sharing this stuf with just me.

I had a horrible dream last night that we took Spinelli away, because she was in heat and we couldn’t do anything for her. I woke up in a panic until she jumped on the bed. Horrible, horrible dream. Ok, I don’t want to remember dreams if they’re gonna be like that. I know I said the other day I was glad I remembered that dream, but I don’t want to remember any if there’s gonna be ones like that. I love that cat.

Its raining today. Apparently it hailed because a friend on FB said she drove through a hail storm at 2am.

2am haha! Oh I remember those days. She calls me granny because I go lay down at 8. Just wait, it’ll hit her too. She won’t want to be out at 2am in a few years.

I’m considering getting my hair professionally done for B’s Christmas party. Georgie is gonna take me out to find a fancy dress, and I’m really thinking about going to a salon to get my hair done. I used to be able to do really cute up do’s but not anymore. It looks great just long and straight, but I think it would be fun to treat myself and get it done. Not sure though. That’s expensive…

Oh last night I was talking to Carol filling her in on the car thing and she was like, you didn’t shower after all the pack rat stuff? And it made me totally paranoid and I had to shower. I also balled up the sweatshirt I was wearing and stuck it in the hamper. Its my around the house sweatshirt, so I had to dig out another one. those medical shows I talked about? Well there was one where this guy almost died because of exposure to pack rats. Maybe I need to stop watching tv all together. And go back to just reading Harry Potter. I internalize too much.

I even fantasized that Harry Potter is real. That J.K Rowling is a witch and she wrote the stories from truth and we’re just mere muggles so she knew we’d never know it was truth.

I wonder if its cold out. I’m going to Gamma’s today. It’ll be nice to be out in rain. It hardly ever rains here. I missed the rain smell. You have to catch the smell as the rain first starts falling. After its been raining awhile, its not the same.

Its good to just write about whatever again. I think its been a little while since I’ve done this. Kudos to you if you’ve made it this far haha.

These posts are hard to label. Why does blogger put a limit on labels? I mean, this post is gonna have a lot of labels. But blogger will squack. It’ll say ah overload too many characters too many characters! Why? come on, I can write as long a blog as I want, but you’re gonna limit my labels? How does that make sense?

Miss Function is bringing some of us together over on Vomit Comet. Ah hell I don’t feel like linking. I link them all the time, so you can find them if you want. Anyway though, we’ve got this huge comment thread going on the post about Miss Function and its really cool because we’re all just talking randomness to see how many comments we can get to before the thread dies.
Haha I just threw a title on this monster and I had a typo I have to leave in. Instead of typing “out” I typed “ut” and it sounds like a Canadian saying out haha! Carin, do you say out like ut? How does Jaws handle that? It sounds just like oot. Oot and aboot. 😉

I know you have made it this far, because you’re me and I would make it this far in a post like this. Watch you prove me wrong and you didn’t read my oot and aboot.

Ding ding ding goes the email. Something really horrible happened to a woman’s daughter on the email list. Stupid yip yip dog attacked her daughter. I want to strangle that dog. seems like bad stuff everywhere. Or maybe thats what I’m focused on, so thats what I’m gonna see. Which one wins? The one you feed.

Holy cow cats going bonkers again. I swear they sound like freakin horses galloping in the house. Hey maybe thats why there was a horse in my dream the other night. Maybe the cats were going bonkers at 3am and so I thought of horses.

Oh, have I mentioned Pop Secret Homestyle microwave popcorn? Carol told me try it. Try it at your own risk. I ate 2 bags yesterday. See what happens when I stuff myself on Thanksgiving my stomach expands and then I want to keep eating like that. Good thing I’m working out.

timmy is absolutely howling. Hahaha oh i wish you could hear this. Its like he’s saying leave me the hell alone, please! Please? Oh please?? Aahhh please please aaah! Poor Timmy.

Now he’s trying to get into a kitchen cabinet. He’s too big to hide anywhere to get away from Spinelli.

I think I’m wrapping up. Just writing about nothing has kinda gotten me out of the mindframe I was in. That’s always a good thing. I’m really trying to watch the apostrophe when I write that’s. I rarely use an apostrophe when I write its. I can never remember when you’re supposed to use it for its. Is it all the time, hmmm. Its like it is. So its a contraction. So I should use it. And sometimes it has ownership, so I should use it. Is it ever appropriate not to use an apostrophe in its? It’s. Hmmm. JayNoi? I kinda don’t think you’ve lasted this long. You always say something like, wow long post girl. 😉

I said I was wrapping up. did I lie? I need more coffee.

Holy crap I just realized its almost December 1st. That means its almost Alex’s birthday. I got him in early December last year, wow! Maybe I should get him an upgrade. But I’m paranoid about upgrading to Snow. I mean, just look at what happened with Vista. I know, 2 totally different operating systems, but someone told me they’re reading reviews of Snow and people are saying its Apple’s Vista. So I’m scared of it. Its seriously cheap to upgrade a Mac but I’m scared. Maybe I’ll just give him a good grooming.

K I think I’ve beaten this post with a stick. I should really go and edit now. though I wouldn’t be surprised if more ideas strike me while I’m editing.

Well, edited and have no more ideas, so I guess I’m done done done.


Filed under Alex, apple Inc, cats, coffeeholic, desert life, dogs, dream, Gamma, NaBloPoMo 2009, proud geek, quirky words, random stuff, silly girl, Spinelli, Timmy, weather

Someone was bored at Nestle Crunch

I got the following status update on FB. The not giving away the surprise applies to comments here too. Try it. Someone must have put some weed in the chocolate over there at Nestle!

Call the Nestle Crunch Hotline at 1-800-295-0051. When you are asked if you want to continue in English or Spanish, just wait quietly for about 10 seconds and you will smile. Promise! (if you comment on this status after listening, don’t give away the surprise…) keep going and press 4 it gets even better…. Try it (keep trying if it’s busy)


Filed under NaBloPoMo 2009, quirky words, random stuff

Who got the solo?

Man, my post yesterday sure was pissy. I was in a mood, thats for sure. Anyway, things improved, I talked to a friend online and then another on the phone, and emotionally felt better. I was still a little phlegmy from being sick, but nothing too bad, and the sneezing has stayed away.

I got ready for choir and L picked me up at 7 and we went to rehearsal. Its getting down to the wire, only 2 real rehearsals left, as the last one before the concert will be at the actual venue, and we’ll be doing staging and placement. So we got set to working really hard pretty quickly. We warmed up and the director told us we’d run through the songs and work on problem areas, and then get up on the steps and do some placement, and run through the whole show.

We might be cutting Snowfall, which is too bad because its really pretty and I think its pretty easy. But Uncle John and Sleighbells are 2 somewhat difficult songs, and we keep spending a lot of time on them.

Sleighbells is still the bane of my existance, but its getting better. The final phrase is sung really fast and we just weren’t getting it, and I was getting so frustrated trying to figure out the beat and the words. So we actually spoke it out, breaking id down, and slowly sped it up until we could speak it. Its “jing a ling a ling a ring, jing jing. Hey! I could not get it. I kept whispering it under my breath and then L said, “Think of it like this, you need 2 lings to get a ring” and it clicked. Phew. But that song takes a lot outta me, even just sitting down. If we pull it off, it’ll be a miracle. But the director is incredible, and she works wonders. I just hope we don’t cut Snowfall.

I think we finally cleared up the trouble spot in Uncle John. The song was written for SATB, or Soprano alto tenor base. So there was one spot where the altos were supposed to sing a pretty high note, and it wasn’t gonna fly. So the director kinda rearranged it and it cleared up the problem spots pretty well. Now we’ve just gotta work on singing the words really crisp and clear, or the point of the song will be lost. All this in 2 weeks, yikes!

While we were still sitting, she said, ok, Christmas Song. This is one of the songs I auditioned for, the one where if sung as written goes all high Beyonce style, so I had modified to stay low. She announced the soloist and under study and I was neither. Ok. Thats not the one I really wanted anyway. We didn’t sing through it because no one said they had problems.

Eventually we got up on the steps, and she hadn’t mentioned the other 2 solos, Santa Baby, which I didn’t try for, and Merry Christmas Darling, the one I really wanted. We got placed and I’m on the very top row, which is nice because I’m on a big flat spot. After sleighbells, I stepped back and my butt hit something and I said, oh something’s behind me. L said, yeah, the alter. I was like, God will forgive me if I lean on it. I was dizzy. Still recovering from being sick, and a lot of work on the songs.

We went through A Christmas song and the soloist sang. Then we got to Merry Christmas Darling. She still hadn’t said who was singing the solo, and the solo is right at the beginning of the song.

So as an afterthought, she’s like, oh the solo!

I’m holding my breath. I had wanted to shout out, what about Merry Christmas Darling! earlier in the night, but didn’t want to sound too eager.

Time froze, who was gonna sing it? The other girl who I thought did really well on all 3 songs hadn’t gotten A Christmas Song or Santa Baby and I just knew I had lost Merry Christmas Darling to her.

My knees went weak. I waited with bated breath, heart racing, thinking I had done well, but so had she.

I told myself not to lock my knees. This all happened in the span of like 5 seconds mind you.

So she announced the soloist for Merry Christmas Darling…

Hmmm, do you want to know?

Sighted people can just glance down, but sorry screen reader users lol!

Gotta go line by line now. You know me and my suspenseful self…

Really want to know?

By now you should have guessed…

Would I be this silly if I hadn’t gotten it?

Yep! I got it! Wow! The song I wanted! And the main soloist, not the understudy!

So I find out like 20 seconds before I have to sing it. The piano intro is played and its time for me to sing. It came out well, except for one note that cracked, and after I was done I went like “bleajghick” and giggled lol.

After that we spread out to sing our last song, the new one we got last week. Its super easy. L and I will remain up there because of where we stand, so we’ll be like front and center for that song, with all the other women spread out in the aisles. We went through that song and afterwards the director came up to me, told me I’m amazing and gave me a hug. I said thank you for giving me the solo, and she said, “I didn’t give it to you, you earned it.” And laughing she said, “I didn’t just give the blind girl the solo” hahaha. The director’s best friend, and the nurse who went on all our tours said, “You must have had a pretty good voice teacher growing up.” I said, “Yeah, I was in this little choir with a pretty good director.” Of course I was joking about the choir I grew up in, with the same director.

I owe so much to that woman. I joined her choir when I was in fourth grade. I moved through the beginning choir and into the intermediate choir in fifth grade, and didn’t audition for the advanced choir, because I was too scared to go on tour while I would only be in sixth grade.

After the spring concert in 5th grade in the intermediate choir, we got tapes of the concert, and mine ended up blank. So over the summer, Mom and I went to the director’s house to pick up a tape, and she told me she wanted me to audition right then and there for the advanced choir. This was highly unusual. She asked why I hadn’t auditioned before, and I told her I was scared to go on tour. She assured me and Mom that the next tour would be to southern California and we would be going on a tour bus, so there wouldn’t even be any flying.

So I auditioned that day in her house, and made advanced choir, and went to California the next April, while I was in sixth grade. We sold candy to raise the money, and then I got on that bus, leaving my family behind, for ten days.

We slept in a church hall and sang in a festival and went to Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm. It was so awesome!

She gave me the courage as a sixth grader to leave my family and go on an adventure, and I went on 4 more adventures with her in the advanced choir, before I graduated choir in my sophomore year to focus on my junior and senior year of high school.

I remember on one of the tours, I broke away from the group to call home at a non-designated time. The director got really mad and took the phone from me and told my mom to “cut the apron strings”. I don’t remember how old I was, but I know it was one of the later tours. My Mom and I were so angry at the time, but looking back, I totally understand it. I needed to experience being “out there” on my own, in this safe group of people.

This director taught me poise and stage presence at a very early age, she taught us how to be respectful young women when we sang in the churches that put us up. We always stayed in non-denominational churches, because there were so many faiths of girls, or no faith at all. She, being the devout Mormon had only one request of us. “Oh my” and “God” were never to be in a sentance together. That was her only request. I still use that rule. She never pushed religion on us. We sang at the Sunday service as payment for staying in the church, and that was it.

She taught me about confidence, she trained my voice. That choir saved me, helped me feel a part of, helped me have a purpose, and I know it had a lot to do with the reason my drinking didn’t start any earlier than it did.

She kept in contact with me over the years, and actually thought I was dead at one point, when she had lost touch with me. When I showed up at a concert unexpectedly, She cried and threw her arms around me, so happy to see me.

She always told me she would be here for me, whatever I needed.

I sang in her retirement concert when I was just under thirty days sober. It was such an honor to sing for her, at her 20 retirement. One of the songs was called “Motherless Child” and I remember her giving me a knowing look at the concert, when we sang that song.

When she found out I had MS back in 06, she called me to see if I was ok. I assured her I was, told her I was over a year sober, and she asked if I had God in my life. I told her I had found a power greater than myself, that I didn’t go to church, but I had faith in something, not knowing what it was, and it was getting me through this diagnosis. She accepted that with no qualms, and was so happy for me.

Then, 3 years later, she offered me a place in her new choir, blind, not knowing how we’d figure it out. She assured me that it wasn’t a strict choir, that some women need to sit for the concert, that it would be fine, we’d figure it out.

So thanks to L, I joined the choir. And the director thought I’m good enough to grant me the solo.

All the techniques she taught me all those years ago came right back. I sit up ttall in my seat to allow for diaphragm work. When she’s working on parts with another voice, I slouch back, but as soon as I hear ok everyone, I snap up at attention ready to sing. L said last night when the director said ok seconds, I snapped into position and the director saw me and said I meant sopranos, and I relaxed again lol!

I didn’t even mean to go into writing about this magnificent woman in this post, but my feelings overwhelmed me after writing about the solo, and it just kinda happened.

When I think about the past, and all my contempt towards religion, I think about her faith. Her undaunted faith, a faith she never ever pushed. And now that I’ve found my own undefined faith in something bigger than me, I think about those few persons of faith from all those years ago, who planted a seed in me,a see that would one day save my life, when I needed to rely on something other than myself, to pull me out of the gutter and go on living. And this woman gets a lot of credit for that.

She not only helped me find my voice, she helped develop me into the woman I would some day become, a woman I love, a woman I am proud of, a woman who can confidently audition for a solo, not the timid voiced little girl I used to be.

Haha I was just thinking she deserves her own label, and what would that be? I have to make it something to do with Mickey Mouse, because in choir we knew, if she was wearing the Mickey Mouse shirt, she meant business, and we best be on our best behavior. Hmmm, I’ll need to think about this label 🙂

I love you Miss K, and oh here come the water works. I made it through this whole post without crying until now 🙂

Ok, I really don’t know what to label her as. We never called her Miss K, but you know how I am about trying not to use names. I’m thinking about either Miss K or Miss Mickey hehe. Hmmm. I want to tell her all these things, but would I find the words in person or on the phone? Maybe I’ll send her a link to this post. Yeah. I think I’ll do that. After the concert when she’s got time to relax.


Filed under accomplishment, Choir, faith, gratitude, Miss K, misty eyes, mom, NaBloPoMo 2009, quirky words, silly girl, sobriety

Writing cuz I have to

I couldn’t even officially sign up for that blog awareness month or knob lo pomo thing I know I didn’t spell it right but oh well, but I decided to do thirty posts in thirty days so I have to write something. I messed up my arm for those 5 days were all I did was sit on the computer, so it hurts if I do too much online. Its like nerve pain all along my bicep. I’ve moved my computer cart so its a little better position wise, but I need like 4 pillows to prop me up enough on the couch. I need something with really skinny feet that will slide under my couch. I went to a meeting with Kevin and then we sat on my front porch chatting and listening to music, and he actually wanted to listen to me sing, which was nice, because B just isn’t into that. I got to show off my iTunes skill and find a song Kevin likes, and he hasn’t seen me work on the computer so he was way impressed. Then he got a phone call from a friend and had to go, and I was left feeling really lonely. I freakin hate that. Just like last week on Tuesday, I had been stuck at home for days and then finally got out and it was so nice, so its the same today. Hopefully I’m done being sick, and can go out tomorrow too. Got rehearsal tonight, and we’ll find out about solos. So I’ll let you all know how that went tomorrow. Nothing else to say, in kind of a soppy mood right now.


Filed under Choir, fellowship, iTunes, music, NaBloPoMo 2009, proud geek, quirky words, sicky sick, sobriety