Tap tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap tap tap! Ok, that’s me tapping on the inside of your screen. What up? It’s been awhile, right? I think I’m back. At least I want to be back. I am a rider who writes things and those things collect dust in my computer. I remember the days of old, way back in ’09 and a few years after that when I wrote here all the time. I’ve been talking to a few friends about those very years when there were tales of Insert who became Jayden, calls for nouns to spark ideas which became calls for Sparks which became short stories, conversations in the comments, random stories about life as I adjusted to being blind. Some of the happiest times. Then Blogger broke accessibility and I came here
and I’ve been paying way too much money to host all this content that I don’t want to lose but I no longer want to pay so much for so I’ve been looking into ways to not lose my content but also not pay as much and then the pandemic happened and man has this blog been on my mind. So here I am. How are you? Like really, how are you?
Since before Corona, I have been trying to find my thing. That thing that we humans need, whatever it is, to feel like we’re contributing to the world. At least I need that thing. After I discovered back in ’10 that writing is something I could still do after going blind, I thought that my dream was to work towards publishing novels and memoirs. I’ve studied the publishing industry, done what I could to teach myself the craft of writing, read books, signed up for seminars and online classes, and finally decided to attempt earning a Bachelor of Art in an online degree program, which failed. Using brain power to access the online learning environment, which is optimized for Windows computers and Jaws when I use a Mac and Voiceover, all while meeting weekly deadlines, proved to be way too much to handle while working to stay healthy with MS. Do you know what is not a bad word? Failure. Trying, really trying something and failing shows me what works and what doesn’t, and committing to anything on other people’s schedules doesn’t work right now.
In December, I began intensive trauma therapy once a week and my therapist utilizes a treatment modality called EMDR. It has been incredibly clarifying! What came out in my last session is that writing on this blog used to bring me great joy. The school experiment failing has reminded me, with therapy, that what worked for me a decade ago is where I’m feeling called now. To my blog. To be able to share my writing with the world, on my own schedule and by my own terms. The blog has been on my mind, and then I decided to send a random tweet and I got a response from one of my long ago readers and friends, Torie. I took that as a sign. I mean, because of this blog I created a character based on her in a scene in a novel that I still work on from time-to-time, that’s what a big role this place used to play in my life. So here we are! I’m hashing out the details of what this will become and for starters, I’m going to get help fixing the colors and fonts and stuff, since my uncle pointed out awhile ago that it’s not very pleasing to the eye, also a new look to better reflect who I am today. I knew that I wanted to post here for anyone who might still be subscribed before I start sharing on the socials, just to get back in touch and check in before the changes happen. I’m considering adding some dreaded ads so that maybe I can supplement my food stamps, ha! I missed blogging! However I also know me, and I know that I tend to run headlong into new projects and then discover that it doesn’t work for me, so who knows. I’ve been feeling called for a long time now to write about facing life’s challenges and the things that I’ve learned about how to do that over the years thanks to recovery from alcohol abuse, and living through MS blinding me. I want to share my courage and tools and right now feels like the exact right time. I began writing this post on the 13th, so hopefully I’ll get into a better and faster habit and keep writing.
We will get through this COVID-19 or Corona virus pandemic, whichever name you like best. We just don’t know what it will look like. None of us knows. But I have faith that the human race as a whole will come together, is coming together, to get through this. While we wait to find out what comes next, how about we do what we can, by putting the oxygen masks on ourselves first and then turning to help whomever needs help?One thing’s for sure, there will be stories! I will be resurrecting the calls for Sparks, absolutle!
So really, how are you?