Category Archives: I might be a writer

From the Desk of My Somewhat Sleep Deprived Mind

I’m going to make a sleep deprived label I’ve decided. Yep, it’s that time again so I went and did a search for my sleep deprived posts and they’re getting up there. Best to have a label, yeah? It’s currently 6:04am as I begin this post. I’ve been up for awhile and I should have seen this coming. The other morning I realized I was awake and after some time, finally checked the time. Time. Let’s write it again. Time. It was 2:30. Whoa baby! How bout no? I lay there thinking I needed to put the meditation bells on. I have this app called AmbiSci 300 and it’s got all sorts of ambient sounds. The meditation bells are perfect for lulling me back to sleep. I just stick my phone under my pillow. It takes some time but it works.

That time I fought to get back to sleep because I was fighting an infection and knew I needed my rest. This time, damn that was only a few days ago I think, I just gave up. Did that make sense? No. But do these posts ever make sense? I decided when I checked the time and it was 4am, that that was late enough to just get up and make coffee since it was pretty obvious it was time for another sleep deprived day. I usually sleep really well though I had to laugh when I read the last sleep deprived post that my doctor had asked how I was sleeping and I told her fine only to not sleep that night.

Speaking of the doctor, I love her but I’m seeing her too much lately. Did I see her last Monday? I think so yeah. I told her it was much nicer to run into her at Joe’s Crab Shack than to be constantly seeing her at the office. I’m just falling apart, ya’ll!

I have a meet and greet with my new gastro doc in April. Yep, a gastro doc. I get to have a hose in me bum. What? A colonoscopy. Weeeeeee! I had more diverticulitis even though I’m doing absolutely everything I’m supposed to in order to prevent it. Nothing with seeds. No nuts. No tomatoes unless diced. I’m even avoiding lettuce after reading that it’s difficult to digest. I take a fiber supplement. I exercise regularly. Still I got the pain. That’s just not normal, doc says. I was expecting her to say I had to have the bum hose when I got that last attack. Now It’s just the damn waiting. Hurry up and wait. It’s not even like there’s probably anything that can be done anyway. They’ll just go in and make sure nothing more serious is going on and then that’s it. Maybe I’m being too cynical but at this point in my life, after living sick for so many years I’m just like whatever dude, throw more at me. Might as well. My life is already incredibly limited and messed up, why not give me more? Bring it! Hey, maybe I’m given all the stuff that others wouldn’t be able to handle so they don’t have to handle it. Not that I believe that any of us are given anything on purpose, but sometimes it’s nice when I’m giving myself a pep talk out of depression to think that maybe I’m preventing someone else from going through what I go through even though I know that’s not true. It’s not like I went blind so you wouldn’t have to and it’s not like I have MS so you don’t have to and it’s not like I have to get a bum hose so you don’t have to because guess what? Even if you’re the healthiest person alive, you’ll still have to get a bum hose one day if you stay on top of your screenings bwah ha ha ha!

My cat, Timmy, is snoring on the couch next to me and Jayden is on the floor at my feet which is odd because usually he’s on the couch with me. All the animals are like, what are you doing up? And Jayden is probably like, when the coffee is on, I’m usually not hungry and my bladder is usually relieved so wtf? Yes, my dog thinks wtf ok?

So if the narrator you’ve always thought should narrate your memoir says you should write your memoir when you tell her that you want her to narrate it but then you’d have to write it, you have to write it, right? I also got to thinking, now that my blog is hosted, if I die, it’ll go away. That’s a terrible thought. If I die, will someone figure out where I’m hosted and pay it? Hahaha! So then I thought back to Lorelei King tweeting me to “do it, baby!” and I was like, well at least that would be a legacy but then who am I to leave a legacy? I’m no one. If I wrote my memoir, would you read it? People have told me from the beginning of my blindness that I needed to write my story. However what voice has stuck with me? The negative one. I need to shut that voice up. Maybe if I wrote a memoir I could be somewhat self supporting because damn, relying on something other than myself for income really sucks. Then again, authors are going broke since people only want to pay ninety-nine cents for a book on their stupid electronic devices so really, can anyone make money selling books anymore unless they’re Stephen King?

Alrighty then I think that’s about all I have. I think I’ll publish this thing and then go add a sleep deprivation label of some sort. It’s 6:25am, do you know where your teeth are?

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Filed under coffeeholic, doc, humor as coping skill, I might be a writer, Jayden, plugs, rambles, random stuff, sicky sick, Sleep Deprived Fun, spoons, Timmy

A Letter to Fifty-Three Year-Old Me

Writing the letter to my fourteen year-old self was fun. The writing prompt I took the idea from said to follow it up the next day with a letter to myself in twenty years. I didn’t give it much thought until it was the next day and the thought of the future was too scary. I think today I am ready to do this since two fictional worlds I’ve dived into recently are more scary (hopefully) than twenty years from now will be.

So, fifty-three year old Ro, I hope you are alive to read this. If you are not fifty- three year-old Ro, meaning you are Ro and not fifty-three yet, don’t read this. You can’t read this until November 11, 1032. Oh wow.

Oh and readers, you should leave a comment. If this blog is still here in twenty years, hopefully it is, your comments will be in a time capsule of sorts haha!

Dear fifty-three year-old Ro,

Wow, so did I make it this long? Mom didn’t make it to fifty-three so if I’m reading this in twenty years I better be grateful. Remember how you thought you’d never see thirty because of how crazy your life was and then you literally didn’t see thirty because you went blind at twenty-nine? Yeah, I still think that’s funny today. Do you still find it funny in twenty years? I hope so, because without humor there’s just no point.

Do you need a refresher of what life was like for you at thirty-three? Well, I’ve been with B for just over five and a half years now. Are we still together in twenty years? If we are, what is he like? Did he ever start eating vegetables? I know, that’s probably a really stupid question. My three best friends are Carol, Chupa and Georgie. How are they? Ok I’m misting up thinking about these people in twenty years. Do you remember being convinced that everyone would die before you and you would be left alone in this scary world? That was only like two months ago, before I started Lexapro. Thinking about the people I love the most and how it will be in twenty years is starting to freak me out. It’s a good thing I’m medicated.

What about Erik? He’s my only friend who’s younger than I am. Only by a few months but still. How is he? I hope you are still in touch with him. We’ve been friends so long and there has always been gaps where we lose touch. Although ever since I went blind and started using my Macbook, we haven’t lost touch, so I hope in twenty years we’re still close.

Ok, so speaking of my Mac, what is technology like? Do people have stuff implanted in them yet? I always imagine little nano chips for phones and stuff. I mean seriously, the technology has to be amazing in twenty years! Or is it scary? Has it gotten out of control? It could go that route too. Right now you have an iPhone 4 running iOS 6.0.1. The latest iPhone is the 5. What is the iPhone in twenty years? Do you have an iPhone? Has any other phone ever rivaled the accessibility of the iPhone? I have a Macbook they don’t even make anymore. I was almost completely out of space on it so I started converting videos to mp3. What do you have in twenty years? Do they even make laptops anymore? Do they use wires at all? I can’t imagine there would be wires anymore. Am I right?

What animals do you have? Right now I have Jayden and Timmy and Spinelli and Fi. I can’t think about the future without them.

Are you still blind? Did they figure out how to give you new optic nerves? If so, did you get them? As of right now, I can’t imagine seeing again. I’m so used to things the way they are, so I don’t know if I would try anything to see again. I remember when I first went blind I wanted more than anything to see again, even just a little bit. I was ready to get on a plane and go to the UK where they were experimenting with a cancer drug that helped MS patients regain lost functions. Now though? I couldn’t imagine testing a drug. It’s a scary thought. So what have you done in twenty years?

I’m afraid to think about what the MS has done to me in twenty years. It’s impossible to think about my future self though without wondering about that. I won’t think about that now. Maybe you’re reading this in twenty years and smiling because nothing horrible has happened. Is that too much to ask for?

There really isn’t much more to write. There isn’t much to say to a future self beyond asking questions. I can say I hope you are as happy as I am today. Though I hope you are happier. I’m happy, but I could be happier. I just hope you aren’t less happy. I hope you’re still sober, though obviously when it comes to that I can’t really think beyond today. If you’re sober and still smoke free and at least as happy as I am now, then you’ve got it good.

Oh hey wait, I have to ask, is there equality? Have people finally quit being so damned uptight about gay marriage? Has racism and bigotry finally really gone away? Do women still have freedom over their own bodies? Has the insanity over birth control gone away? Did people start finally focusing on the real problems? God I hope so. If there isn’t more love an acceptance in twenty years, how are you managing?

I’m reading “The Handmaid’s Tale”, do you remember reading that book? It’s incredibly depressing. It’s what could happen if the crusty old white guys don’t stop wanting to control the female body. It’s terrifying. I hope it’s nothing like this in twenty years because if it’s going to go down that path, I hope the Mayans were right. If they were right, you won’t be reading this in twenty years, no one will.

Ok wow, this turned very doom and gloom. I was afraid this would happen when I thought about writing this letter. Writing to fourteen year-old me was fun because I don’t fear the past and because I knew what happened. This letter is nothing but fear of the unknown and my dwindling hope for a happy future.

I guess my only hope is that there’s just more love in the future. There has to be, or the future is grim grim grim.

I should end this on a happy note. Hmmm, happy. So have the Rays won a World Series or five? Ten? How long did Evan Longoria stay? Please tell me he didn’t end up with Boston or New York. What about David Price? Did I ever meet any of them? How are all my online friends? I don’t want to start naming them all because that’s a lot and I’m sure I’d end up leaving someone out.

One last question, what kind of voice are you listening to on your Mac? I can only assume you still use a screen reader and a Mac. Is it still Alex or have they made new voices that are just as good? Knowing Apple, they probably use human speech in twenty years haha. Ok, I just heard my DM ping. I think that’s my cue to wrap this up.

I hope this letter finds you well , my fifty-three year-old self! Oh, happy early birthday!

Love,

Thirty-three year-old Ro

PS – Do they have replicators and/or transporters yet? Did you ever publish anything?

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Filed under accessibility, Adjustment to blindness, Alex, apple Inc, assistive technologies, baseball, cool product, evan longoria, fellowship, Fi, humor as coping skill, I might be a writer, in the news, iPhone, Jayden, letters, mental health, misty eyes, mom, My story, NaBloPoMo 2012, on this date, politics, proud geek, screen reader, silly girl, sobriety, Spinelli, spoons, Timmy, twitter me this

Sharing some of the writing I did in that fiction class

I haven’t shared any of the writing I did when I took that free fiction writing course. I was advised not to post the short stories here, in case I ever wanted to publish them elsewhere.

I’m still feeling really torn about that, because as a maybe writer, I want to get my stuff out there and I’ve been feeling quite the nudge to do some more posting here. Since I don’t even know where to begin with trying to get my writing out there, I think starting here is a good idea.

I’m still not sure I’ll post the short stories I wrote, but I’m really leaning towards going ahead and doing it.

I opened up the assignments I did for the class and decided to start off with one we did about dialogue. At the time, I thought I might try writing an adult crime fiction novel, set in the future. I developed characters for it and one of the assignments was to write a conversation between the character and me, or two of the characters. Each line is one person speaking, even though there are no quotation marks around the conversation. I wrote three of these, finally deciding on the conversation between my character and myself. We had a strict five hundred word limit. I’m no longer planning on writing this novel, though I had a ton of ideas. I’m just burnt out on adult crime novels. Here’s what I wrote for the exercise:

WC 493

So Ren, how are you liking my development of you so far? Oh, and there’s coffee just there on your left.

Well, shouldn’t you know? You’re writing me, thanks for the coffee.

Humor me, will you?

Ah, fine. I guess it’s ok. I think being FBI is pretty kick ass.

What do you think about what you see?

Well, honestly I think it’s kinda cheesy. And like you’ve gotten in feedback, won’t it be hard to write about those flickers? You’ve made me a Trekkie, so why not just make me an empath or something? And if I’ve been engineered with heightened senses, wouldn’t that make sense?

Yeah, I’ll think about that. So what do you think about Mox?

I like him, in fact I’m a little annoyed you’re making me so weird around men.

Do you want me to change that?

It would be nice if you’d at least explain it, I mean did something horrible happen to me?

No, but you abuse men, or rather you abuse sex, because you get a sense of power from it.

I do?? I thought everyone used sex for the wrong reasons these days.

Yeah, and you’ve taken it to the tenth degree. Do you want to use Mox?

Use him? Well no, I care about him. Dammit I hate admitting that…

See, so don’t you understand now, since you abuse sex, you are protecting him by keeping distance, right?

Yeah, I get it, but it’s not fair. I hope you resolve that.

We’ll see. Do you miss your brother?

I don’t remember much about him, you saw to that. You have too much power over me.

Be grateful dear, without me you wouldn’t exist. How do you feel about not drinking?

Well it makes sense, I mean since my brother drank himself to death.

Do you see how you’re still an addict when it comes to sex, work and cleaning?

Oh…that’s what you’re doing to me??

Yep, what if I resolve it by making you get loaded one night, so you end up getting help?

No, I don’t think that’s in my character. I hate booze, so I just don’t see me ever doing that. You’ll have to figure something else out.

Gotcha, so you think you should hit bottom with Mox?

Well, no…I don’t want to harm Mox.

Don’t you see what kind of tight spot you’re putting me in? I can’t write you drunk; I can’t write you harming Mox.

Well how the heck is that my fault? You’re the one who created me, why are you blaming me??

Simmer, Ren. Haha, but I do love that temper of yours.

Yeah yeah, leave me alone. You’d have a temper too if someone wrote you with my life. Gah, now I need to clean something.

Addict.

Seriously, shut up.

If I shut up, you won’t exist.

There you go with that power again. I’m outta here, if you’ll write me leaving.

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I want to write short stories again. Wanna help?

This morning I opened up the two novels I have started. I’m not sure one of them can really be classified as a novel yet, more of a project. The young adult fiction novel however, definitely fits the bill as a novel. Unfortunately, I just don’t have the muse. I don’t know how to pick up where I left off back when I had all that momentum in November and pounded out sixty thousand words in two weeks.

I decided what might help jump start some creativity again is to get back to my short story challenge. For those familiar with this, you know what to do in the comments.

For those new to the blog, I enjoy writing a short story based around three objects that I get from you, the reader. I keep track of the objects and then after the deadline I set, I use a random number generator to pick the objects. I then write a thousand word or less fictional story around the objects.

If you’re curious, leave me three objects in the comments. I’m hoping this might jump start the writing again. I feel so fulfilled when I’m writing; I just need the sparks to ignite the fire. The link above will show you all the posts about the challenge.

I’m anxious to get started, so I’m gonna be really greedy and set a deadline of the end of today. If I only get one comment, you will win haha! If the world ends before that, I was never meant to be a writer anyway. 😉

Oh and I have a deadline too. I’ll set my deadline to Tuesday night. That’s when I’ll post the story, unless I finish it really fast. Thanks!

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Doggy Diaries – Year ago recap 38 – He was sick last year, me this year, what’s up with the writing?

Once again I’m behind on recap posts. Luckily there weren’t many from this time last year because Jayden had gotten sick. He tells you about it here, and I follow up on it here. Non dog people beware of that one, it mentions stool a bit haha!

This one isn’t a Diaries post since I was waiting on a call from the vet to update, but it’s interesting to compare where I was then to where I’m at now. It’s also interesting because I very briefly mention Erik, and he’s coming to visit me in one week! Erik and I have been best online friends for thirteen years and never met face to face. That all changes in a week when he comes for a visit, awesome!

I think what stuck out to me most is that it was a year ago that I took an online fiction writing course and was really interested in writing. It’s kind of fallen by the wayside lately. I had fun doing the short stories here but I let that go. I really feel like my true calling right now, is writing my story. Too many people have told me to do it and going beyond friends, a baseball player/author and recently another published writer who I just happened to have a long chat with outside my apartment one day.

It’s so much more difficult to write the truth. When I write fiction, my characters take the story to places I never imagined. When I’m writing my story, I already know how the scene will end. It’s rather…boring haha!

However I really feel like that’s what I should be writing. It’s just a matter of getting bitten by the bug again.

Last year Jayden was sick, this year it was me. This whole week I’ve battled some weird stomach thing that left me absolutely drained. This coming week will hopefully be better and busy, passing the time until Erik arrives in a week. Fun stuff. Of course my life is all about baseball right now, too. =D!

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Filed under Doggy Diaries, fellowship, I might be a writer, Jayden, on this date, sicky sick

Thanks to @TheGarfoose, my baseball and writing worlds collide

Another baseball player gets his own label on my blog. What? Really? You are holding another up there with the fandom of Evan Longoria? Why yes, yes I am.

There is so much to write, but unfortunately I am completely brain fried and on my own imposed deadline, so I’m just writing the introductory post so my guy can get his own label.

Dirk Hayhurst is joining the Rays!

Who, you might ask? Blue Jays fans will know, and anyone who likes baseball books. I only discovered him oh, about two months ago maybe, After Steve gave me a link to Dirk’s blog, click his name above to go read his post about joining the Rays.

Long story short because I’m about done being able to think, I fell in love with Dirk Hayhurst. No worries Bonnie, not that way. As you all know, I’m crazy about baseball and I’m crazy about writing and Dirk does both.

I had emailed him a few days ago, before I heard the rumors about the Rays being interested. He’s on Twitter a lot and of course his blog and after I read his book, ‘The Bullpen Gospels’, I fell in love with him as a writer. He’s also helped me to face my own writing reaper though he had no idea until I wrote to him and told him so.

He humbly replied to me this morning and I won’t share what he said because that’s between us. But he told me he had in fact, just signed a minor league deal with the Rays. Happy dance ensued. I had said on Twitter yesterday that I’d scream so loud, Canada would hear. However I sat in quiet awe after reading the email, having not seen the deal finalized anywhere online. I’d heard it straight from him!

About five minutes later it was all over Twitter. I’m so glad I heard it from the man himself.

There’s something about an athlete, or any public person for that matter, who takes the time to talk to his fans. It makes me feel like somebody, to have said just a little, just enough, to cause him to reply to me. I was on cloud nine for quite awhile, let me tell you.

since this morning quite a lot has happened and I’m exhausted, but wanted to mark the day. Now I’ll go try and think of a story idea around a surgical scrub brush, a post-it note and headphones. An idea is milling around up there, shouting out echoing thoughts in my brain. We’ll see where it goes and if I can finish by Sunday. Coffee please? *yawn*

God I love my life! Still hard times right now, but there’s always something good through the fog of the unlovely. (That’s Carol’s word, hi Carol!)

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Filed under baseball, coffeeholic, evan longoria, I might be a writer, twitter me this

My first Short Story Challenge Objects

I’ve had some pretty massive writer’s block over the last week. I haven’t even been able to formulate a blog post. So I thought I’d come back to the short story challenge and see if it will spark something.

I never got a response back from a baseball player haha, so I had Georgie pick a number from one to eight. She doesn’t read here, so she had no idea why I was asking. She instantly said seven, which was Pattib’s submission. Sooo, my challenge to myself will be a thousand word or less short story with a beginning, middle and end with the objects mountain, string and goldfish bowl. I’m giving myself a deadline of next Friday. Wish me luck!

Thanks so much for all who gave me objects. It actually morphed into things other than just objects and I kinda like that. I’ll link to this post when I do another one of these. Here were the submissions for the first short story challenge here at the Roof:

1. Carin – chair, knapsack, phone

2. Amanda – Panda, leash, guitar

3. Steve – Squirrel, refrigerator box, stop sign

4. L^2 – Winter, purple, elephant

5. Toby’s Raiser – Polka dots, music, camera

6. Katrin – Pencil, dolphin, rock

7. Pattib – Mountain, string, goldfish bowl

8. Natalie – necklace, nose, paranoid homeless person.

These were all great submissions and with every comment, I was beginning to formulate ideas. I think this challenge is awesome for anyone who wants to try writing, but can’t think of a story. It’s amazing what three words will do for you.

Ok, off to brainstorm!

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Want to help me write a short story?

I had this idea yesterday and decided to post it today since I need a little writing project to take my mind off some things.

So remember when I took that writing course? Well, there was a writing challenge that wasn’t part of the class. The challenge was to write a one thousand word or less short story with a beginning, middle and end including three objects, which were given to us by one of the mentors.

The three objects were an empty glass, a blanket and a t.v stand. I wrote a short story including those three objects and briefly posted it on the blog, but JayNoy told me if I ever wanted to publish it, it couldn’t already be published anywhere.

The story involves two sober people and one of their challenges. Some of my friends told me I should try submitting it to a sober magazine and I just inquired to see if they’d be interested, but they don’t take fiction.

So I thought, I want to write something for the blog that will just be for the Roof, not something I’d plan to try publishing. Then I thought, I could do a writing challenge on the blog. I just need three objects.

So here’s where you come in. Leave me a comment with three objects. Any objects. Just not a blanket, empty glass or t.v stand lol. I’ll take comments through Friday. Then I’ll have B or someone who doesn’t read the blog pick a number between 1 and hover many comments I get.

I’ll list the comments in a text document in case there are other comments without objects.

I’ll have the number selected on Saturday and give myself one week to write a short story with a thousand words or less which will include the three winning objects, and post it here. Sound like fun? I think so. It’ll be great practice for me and I’ll get to share something with you all, since I’ve never posted any of my fiction here.

Ok, get commenting! You have until the end of Friday! 😉

Reminder, submissions for the next Assistence Dog Blog Carnival are due by January 17th. Click here for details.

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Filed under I might be a writer, short story challenge

Yep, I’m blind

This post might sound like I’m complaining, but I’m really not.

For the most part, the fact that I’m blind just kinda lives in the background layer of my life. It’s not something I constantly think about, it doesn’t define me, but it’s a huge part of my life, obviously. Listening to my screen reader every day or interacting with jayden are constant reminders, but they aren’t bad reminders.

Not long ago, when the budget made me wait before I could download a book, I actually thought, ‘I’ll just borrow one from B.’ Um, wait no, that won’t work. It’s thoughts like that that make me forget I’m blind. No really. I forget. The way I live now is such the norm that I forget I’m missing a vital sense.

Then there are days like today, where lots of little things add up for a bbig whopping reminder. If I’m not careful, these things can leave me feeling helplesss.

It started off with not being able to find Timmy this morning, to lock him up before taking Jayden out. Tears threatened to spill at the feeling powerless of it all. B got up and found the stupid cat. Great.

Then just picking up Jayden’s waste was a reminder. He picked a spot right by the stupid bush and I practically sat on the bush. Then I couldn’t find the poop. I hate landscape rocks. Try feeling around landscape rocks with your hand swathed in plastic, waiting to feel squishy. Ewww.

Then when I set my coffee down on my laptop cart, my cell phone went flying. Then I couldn’t negotiate the lining up of USB chord and port. Frustrating making.

What topped it all off was my heater wasn’t blowing very hot so I called maintenence. I had thought we were changing the filter regularly, but apparently we had forgotten. Also, the vent in front of the filter was caked with grime, which the maintenence guy vacuumed off. If I could see, I would have replaced the filter, I would have noticed the muck and cleaned it. Just another glaring reminder. Then he showed me where the doors to the hall closet, which are ventilated doors to allow air flow, are getting dirty too. I ran my hand along the slats and cringed.

Like I said, most of the time this stuff just doesn’t bother me. In fact, my life has gotten pretty awesome since going blind. After all, I wouldn’t have Jayden and I wouldn’t know you all.

Unfortunately when the reminders hit, other things that might be a nagging bother get blown up. The latest one? How on earth will I make sure the formatting for my novel is correct when it comes time to submit my first fifty pages to an agent? How am I going to make sure it’s a Microsoft document when I use an Apple? Will I need sighted help just to make sure the novel isn’t a formatting disaster?

Granted, I’m a ways away from submission. I’ve got about 60,000 words, but no ending yet, having taking a break from it for a few days.

Anyway, just some observations. Ever have one of those days where *everything* reminds you you’re blind?

Oh, and a discussion on Facebook has me thinking too. I haven’t decorated for Christmas since going blind. There are a few reasons, like B’s cats not being trained to stay away from things and fear that if a cat were to knock off an ornament, Jayden might eat it. Really though, what’s the point?

I’m sure lots of blinks decorate for Christmas. But I just don’t see the point in expending my already short supply of energy on digging out the suitcase full of decorations from my mess of a store room, putting everything up, worrying about the cats, and not even being able to see it. Why bother?

I might be bah humbug about it but, oh well. B wouldn’t care anyway and he’s the only one who could see it. I do miss my decorations, and maybe I get a little bummed at the thought of them. Maybe I’ll think about digging them out…but therein lays a whole ‘nother blink problem: finding it in the mess of the storage room without killing myself. Yeah, no point.

Ok, that’s it, really. 😉

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Filed under Adjustment to blindness, apple Inc, blind opinion, cats, holiday, I might be a writer, Jayden, Microsoft, NaBloPoMo 2010, random stuff, spoons, Timmy

Doggy Diaries – More than just writing

Since I’ve mostly been firing off short and random posts for NaBloPoMo, (is that how it’s spelled?) I haven’t written much about life not involving writing. It really is too bad that I didn’t know about NaNoWriMo in time, since yesterday I surpassed the 50,000 word count. The only other hurdle left to jump to say I completed NaNoWriMo even though I didn’t enter, is to actually finish the novel, which is about to happen. There are scenes I had in mind that are no where near close to happening, which only opens up the door for a second book. Soon the revision will begin however, and that might trim the novel down or make it even longer. We’ll see how fun I think the writing is when I begin to fine tune it. 😉

I think I’ve only been writing for about a week now. It’s amazing how I’ve lost all sense of time while working on this novel. Wait, didn’t I say I’d write about something other than writing? Yeah, oops.

Jayden and B and I are going to Gamma’s in a bit for turkey dinner. It’s finally gotten cold here, well cold for Arizona. Low thirties at night and I’d guess maybe low sixties during the day. It’s fabulous because it helps my aches big time. I had missed my massage a couple weeks back when I thought I might be sick. During the summer if I missed a massage, my body was screaming in pain. Not this time. I was two weeks overdo but felt pretty good. In a writing tip by Justine, I’m sorry, I can’t spell her last name, she wrote ‘Liar’ and is Scott Westerfeld’s wife, she talks about getting a massage once a week when she’s writing a novel. I hadn’t thought at all about needing to take care of yourself when writing a novel, but believe me, it’s a lot of work. By the end of the day, my eyelids feel as though they’ve got weights on them, and I’m not even stuck staring at the screen. Look at that, I’m talking about writing again. It’s been my life recently though, so it’s kinda hard to discuss life without referring to it.

The week I thought I was sick, I didn’t go work out, and then I started writing so I haven’t been to the gym. Bad Ro. Justine also says exercise is important for writers. Once I get this zero draft done, I’ll get back to that routine.

Jayden is just awesome, but are you surprised? He’s hadnled me working like a champ and anytime I feel a little guilty, I just imagine the dogs who are under a desk. Jayden gets to be free at home, usually curled up right beside me on the couch, as he is right now. Sometimes this makes using the wireless keyboard a little difficult when he decides to put his head on my leg. In that case, I twist and sit not even close to ergonomical to type on the laptop. If I’m gonna continue writing, I really need to consider a desk, though I have no idea where I’d put it.

One of the things that’s been frustrating me lately is the realization that in this town, we can’t just set out for a walk and get things accomplished. We need to get to places using more than our feet. The one place we can get to has a road that Jayden refuses to work. I talked with Dave about it Tuesday, finally telling him that Jayden and I just need to work it as often as possible and there’s really nothing left for Dave to do. He knows I know how to be safe, and that’s his main purpose. There’s no point in him following us and watching me try and get Jayden to work. So Dave won’t be helping with that anymore, not until I finally get Jayden to get down the road, then Dave will help me fine tune the entrance to the store, which is an accessibility nightmare.

I’d had an idea on Tuesday, a way to help the problem of needing transportation anywhere. I thought of a shopping center with a Target and a craft store. If we take the van or a cab, we can get quite a few things done there. So we went and checked it out on Tuesday and they really did an awesome job in this shopping center. They’ve even got raised domes at the wheelchair ramps. So we patterned first, doing sighted guide with Jay on lead. We found the customer service desk where I’d ask for help, then we went and checked out the pet supplies. I’m still gonna need to get to a pet store for Jayden’s needs, which is a bummer because there isn’t one located near another convenient type store. That’s what I’m trying to find, the place where we can get dropped off and get more than one thing done.

Anyway, we then patterned to the craft store and I showed Jayden the counter where we’d get help. I asked about their slow days and they were very happy I thought to find out what days would be best for them to be able to help. I think it’s only courteous, if I’m gonna go in and ask for help, that they not be slammed. Some people might think otherwise, that it’s our right to get help and sure it is, but I think it’s nice to do it when a place isn’t slammed. Not just for the employees, but for my sanity as well.

We did human guide back inside Target and then I worked Jayden out of the store and over to the craft store. He was doing a lot of weaving, which Dave explained was due to potted plants and flat electric outlets in the ground. Jayden went around those rather than over them hehe! He was only shown the way once, but he got me to the craft store and up to the counter no problem. There’s a bench outside where we could wait for a ride and all I had to say was “find the chair” when I knew we were near, and he took me right to it. He is such a smart boy. If only our road wasn’t presenting such a problem…

Dave and I sat on the bench and talked about how I’m getting really close to not needing him anymore. There are a few more places I’d like to check out, but really I can do those with friends too. I explained to Dave that my sighties just don’t ahve much time, and I’d really like to check out the places once with Dave and then I’ll be good. When I first got home with Jayden, I needed to do things several times to feel confident. Now I’m like, just show me once please. Haha!

So that’s bittersweet, to be coming to a close with Dave. I’ve been blind two and a half years now, and he’s been there every step of the way. I’m so grateful for that man. He assured me that anytime I need him though, he’s just a phone call away.

Aside from that, I don’t have much to report. Jayden’s work is incredible and once we get that road problem fixed, we’ll be good to go. Oh I had a follow up call from GDB’s alumni group, and we talked about me starting a chapter here in AZ. I was interested in it back at school, but then life happened. We’ll see if I want to try and start one, though it would be nice to meet up with other GDB grads here.

Now that it’s cold, I’m happy. We can go out whenever we want now and not die. It’s probably the best time to work on the road so we’ll just keep it up.

I haven’t been reading any blogs, so I hope you’re all well. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

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Filed under blind opinion, desert life, Doggy Diaries, family, Gamma, GDB, gratitude, holiday, I might be a writer, Jayden, NaBloPoMo 2010, Orientation and Mobility, weather, working dog