A Cardboard Box Tried To Eat Me

A webinar jinxed me. More specifically, a Can Do Multiple Sclerosis webinar. I found these webinars after David mentioned wanting some ideas for dinners (he’s a great cook), and I went searching for foods good for MS to add into our stir fries.. I certainly never meant to change his diet when I moved here, but he became intrigued with my management of cholesterol without medication, noticing that he felt better physically when he ate the stuff I eat. I have sworn off red meat, sadly. I feel like death warmed over after I eat it. Ah, the joys of getting older. Bye bye bacon.

Ro, I thought this post was about how a webinar jinxed you.

Ok yes, yes. So I listened to the latest one and it was about sleep and MS. These webinars are super informative, reinforcing a lot of the stuff I’ve learned about MS on my own over the years, either online or by adapting stuff to suit my needs. So a lot of it is sort of reeducation I suppose. the webinar mentioned often how important sleep is, which I think most of us know, but they brought up something interesting I hadn’t thought of, which is fall prevention. Of course, if we’re over tired or fatigued, we’re at a greater risk of falling. I’ve done pretty well avoiding falls, even with MS Induced vertigo and blindness. I don’t have a lot of problems with sleep, knock on wood, the biggest one being having a hard time getting back to sleep sometimes after I have to get up and answer nature’s call. They went through an awesome relaxation exercise, and recommended doing that during the night when insomnia hits. As if my body wanted me to practice, I couldn’t fall asleep right away that night after getting up, but unfortunately, I was too sleepy to have the energy to practice the relaxation exercise. Is this a chicken/egg issue? I put my current falling asleep audio book on under my pillow and eventually fell asleep to the dulcet tones of Alan Cumming reading Scott Westerfeld’s LEVIATHAN trilogy. I’m nearly done with the third book for the umpteenth time. I wonder what my next comfort, fall asleep listen will be.

I didn’t feel tired or unrefreshed when I woke up yesterday. We went about our usual lazy Sunday, and when I fed Jayden, I noticed that I’d need to empty dog food from the new bag into his food container. the box from Amazon had been sitting behind my desk for a week. I laid it flat, cut it open, and carried the thirty pound bag into the kitchen, leaving the open box on the floor.

David offered to pour the bag of food into the Vittles Vault but I assured him I’d been doing it for years and had a system, and I do, but after bending over, slowly filling the container to capacity, my back barked at me and I told David that ok, he could do it next time. We had a laugh over Jayden waiting for permission to snatch up the spilled kibble on the floor and I left the kitchen to return my scissors to my desk drawer.

Ok class, who remembers where I had opened the Amazon box containing a thirty pound bag of dog food?

Why do falls seem to happen in slow motion? Remembering it now, I can see myself walking as if in quick sand, my left foot encountering the box on the floor, my hands slowly coming up in front of me, scissors in the left one. I can hear my thoughts, how far am I from the computer? Shit, don’t break the computer, don’t fall into the desk with the computers, where’s Jayden, don’t want to fall on him, oh he’s in the kitchen ok falling falling falling.

the scissors didn’t enter my mind until after the fall was complete. Perhaps the part of my brain that controls my left hand was nice an alert, more so than the short term memory part at least.

I even swore in slow motion. David can vouch for that. He heard the whole thing from the kitchen and said I seemed to fall in steps. “Oh fuck…oh fuck….oh fuck!”

After I landed and took stock, realizing I had landed half inside the box, crushing the other half, I burst out laughing, imagining the scene in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, where Jim Carey is snooping in the storage closet at the mental hospital and tries to hide in a box. He’s wearing a pink ballet tutu and high top shoes and ends up sprawling out of the box as it gives way around him. I couldn’t stop the hysteria. David came in and bent down to feel my position and after being certain I was ok, gave me a hand to get up. But I discovered that my left leg was folded into the box and I couldn’t stand, so I began laughing even harder and pulled his hand down to show him how I was trapped. He got my leg free and pulled me up and it was then that I noticed the scissors. That could have been very bad.

David asked if I was sure I was ok, because the laughter had sounded like a combination of mirth and pain. I took a physical inventory and sure enough, my left hip was not happy. Upon further reflection, I think the hysterical laughter was a bit of an emotional pop. It’s been a sad couple of months for David and his friends, since one of them has been dying. We received word yesterday that his friend had passed on. I never met him, but feeling the love and sadness from those who knew him, I knew he had been a special person. It’s an odd thing when a death watch is over. You’re filled with sadness with the knowledge that the person you love is dying and then when it’s over, there’s a sense of relief, and then guilt over feeling that relief. None of this was about me, but I felt David’s pain, and had for months, so I think I just sort of popped when I found myself trapped in a cardboard box. Emotions are powerful and strange things.

So, the webinar jinxed me. I obviously don’t believe that, but you know how when someone injures themselves in a really stupid way and their friends are like, you should say you got into a fight with a guy who wouldn’t give up his seat to a pregnant lady or something rather than admit you were playing Pokemon Go and ran into a tree.

Jayden Quirk

Sometimes after feeding and relieving Jayden, I get back into bed for awhile, and other times I get up and sit at my desk. Jayden always goes to his bed after he’s fed and relieved. We only have one dog bed, and we move it back and forth from the bedroom to the spot under my desk where he can be near me. Sometimes I forget to move the bed when I sit at my desk, and this morning, I was reading Twitter when I felt Jayden beside me. “Oh! You want your bed?” I went into the bedroom for it, Jayden trailing behind me. I put it under my desk and he curled up happily. It always warms my heart. It’s the simple things, everyone. Don’t forget to let the simple things make you happy.

6 Comments

Filed under Amazon, Audio books, blind blunders, funnies, humor as coping skill, Jayden, jayden quirks, spoons, twitter me this

6 Responses to A Cardboard Box Tried To Eat Me

  1. Gosh, i bet that box nearly ate you lol! I hope your hip feels better soon. I think i must have missed it, but i take it David is blind too? Sorry to hear about the sad news though. It sounds like the last bit of your post is in capitals though lol.
    Torie recently posted..“Our Country Nurse” By Sarah & Amy BeesonMy Profile

  2. Ro

    Yup, David is totally blind, too. I didn’t even mean to post about his friend; I just wanted to tell the story about the box, but it wanted out I guess.

    Yeah, that darned heading html. I missed it when I previewed. Thanks for the heads up!
    Ro recently posted..A Cardboard Box Tried To Eat MeMy Profile

  3. The whole time you were talking about the scissors and falling, I was acting like you do when you’re watching a horror movie and you know the girl is going to do something she shouldn’t. No no no no the scissors the scissors you’re going to fall don’t fall on the scissors oh god oh god…” Lol. After I knew you were fine, I had a good laugh at the vision.
    Carin recently posted..Are You Tired Of 2016 Taking People From K-Tel? Wait…There’s More!My Profile

  4. Ro

    When I noticed the scissors in my hand, my life flashed before my eyes as I laughed hysterically. Luckily, there seems to be no lasting damage to my hip haha.
    Ro recently posted..A Cardboard Box Tried To Eat MeMy Profile

  5. OMG, my heart stopped when I seen you fall with scissors! So glad that you are ok and sorry to hear about David’s friend.
    No more webinars for you!
    And Jayden is soo cute! 🙂

  6. Ro

    I was walking with scissors today and couldn’t help but chuckle. Oh and Ricardo made his requisite bubble wrap comment.
    Ro recently posted..A Cardboard Box Tried To Eat MeMy Profile

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