“Dad is Fat” by Jim Gaffigan – narrated by Jim Gaffigan

I don’t think I’ve ever downloaded a book from Audible without reading the description. I’m a fan of Jim Gaffigan’s comedy and follow him on Twitter so when he began tweeting about his book it was a no-brainer for me. I mean c’mon! Hot Pockets!

I just now read the description after opening the Audible page to get the link. They have the book classified as self development! What!?! I suppose the title should have let me know something about the book since Dad is included. It should have been apparent parents would be the focus. I’m not a parent. Unless you consider my animals as my kids like I do. In fact after reading “Dad is Fat” I have to say kids seem more like animals than my animals do.

“Dad is Fat” is a collection of essays Gaffigan wrote about life with his wife and five children. It’s definitely entertaining but I think parents of actual human children will relate a lot more to the stories and humor. I chuckled often but just like only recovering alcoholics understand recovering alcoholics, I think probably only parents of children only understand parents of children. I mean there were several times during this book I found myself judging the fact that the Gaffigans live in a two bedroom apartment in New York City. In fact I’d just finish having a judgmental thought when Gaffigan would say something like, people without kids are always judging people with kids. Oops. But hey, humans are a judgmental lot. That’s why I’ll stick to animals. My fur kids would never say mom is fat.

Rating: Entertaining

“Dad is Fat” at Audible ~ “Dad is Fat” at Amazon

Leave a Comment

Filed under 2013 Book List, Audio books

“Naked in Death” (In Death Book 1) by J.D. Robb – narrated by Susan Ericksen

This book is the first in a huge series of books I recently found because of a Conversation with Carol in which I mentioned a book I listened to way back in the early blind days when a friend brought me books from the college library. I was telling Carol I had read this book that was set in the future with a female detective and there was a private school and people drank soda out of tubes. That’s literally all I told her. The girl is a walking version of Wikipedia. I could literally hear the wheels begin to turn in her head. She started mumbling to herself, “initials, it’s initials, P.D. James? No, no wait, was the book kinda racey?”

“Huh?” I asked.

“Like was it steamy?

“I don’t know, there was a private school, rich kids, ” I said as another memory of the book came to me.

“Wait! No, it’s not P.D. It’s J. D.! It’s a pseudonym for a woman who writes racey books, Roberts? J. D. Robb! I think that might be it.”

I checked Audible. Sure enough, as I read the description of the most recent book in the series I got excited. “Eve Dallas! Yes! That’s her! Oh and the partner, I remember that name! This is it! Carol, you’re a genius!”

She really is. The woman is a vault of what she considers useless pop culture trivia. It’s most certainly not useless haha. I’ve been wanting a new detective series for when I want a nice easy book to read since I’m caught up with Harry Bosch and it was looking like the In Death series might just do it.

I’m not sure though. This first book was most definitely racey. I like a good mystery with maybe a hint of what the detective is doing in the bedroom, like with Harry Bosch but this one is more detailed, at least in this first book. I enjoyed the book though. Anything set in the future can be really fun to read. There isn’t really anything special about the murder mystery since they all pretty much follow the same sort of plot. As Carol likes to say, she likes books that have a dead body in the first chapter. This one definitely had that, a dead high priced hooker with a note under her that simply read, “One of six”. Chilling.

I can see myself continuing with this series but not as diligently as I did with Harry Bosch. I have to admit, it’s fun to read a book set in a future where guns have been outlawed.

Rating: Entertaining

“Naked in Death” at Audible ~ “Naked in Death” at Amazon

6 Comments

Filed under 2013 Book List, Audio books, fellowship

The Joe Ledger Novels by Jonathan Maberry – narrated by Ray Porter

This post is going to be a bit different since it’s about six books instead of one. I decided I did not want to write an individual post for each book in this series because since I read them all back-to-back, it really felt more like one very long book rather than individual ones.

My friend Ricardo and I talk audio books a lot and during one of our conversations he mentioned a book he was excited about, the fifth book in the Joe Ledger series. I went and looked up the first book on Audible and was instantly hooked by the description. A new government agency designed to fight the things we don’t hear about? A deadly plague that turns people into zombies? A terrorist Joe Ledger has to kill twice? Oh yeah, bring it on!

There was no stopping me once I started the series. I had no desire to read anything else. I wanted to just keep hanging out with Joe Ledger and Mr. Church and Rudy Sanches and Top and Bunny and oddities oh my!

I flew threw these books, unable to put them down. The book I read last, “Joe Ledger: The Missing Files”, is a compilation of short stories that tie up some loose ends. When I was done with it, I was sad. I felt empty. I craved the escapism of the incredible clandestine agency, the mix of Jason Bourne and Jack Bauer that is Joe Ledger, the mystery that is Mr. Church and the terrifying creations straight out of The X-Files. How do you follow that?

I just got sad after writing that. That’s when you know a series is great! Below I’ve left links to each book with the book’s rating. REading them back-to-back really was a roller coaster, with each book not getting the same rating, not every book making my heart pound as hard, but as a whole, the series pretty much gets a Marriage Material rating from me. I’m assuming the next book will be out next year and I can’t wait! Oh and Ray Porter? Excellent narrator! He nails the badass tones during fights and then almost makes you cry when Ledger is feeling emotional. I’ve looked up Porter’s other books, he’s that good. I also think I’m going to start on more science fiction books, which he seems to like to narrate.

Oh, if you don’t like blood and gore, be forewarned. There are some very graphic scenes in every book. The action rarely stops so there’s a lot of blood. But, there’s also a service dog! How’s that for perfect? He’s so cool!

Ok, I’m done raving. I love love love these books! In fact when I finished the short stories book, I listened to the beginning of “Patient Zero” again to revisit how it all began. Then I had to force myself to move on. Is it next year yet?

Series Rating: Marriage Material

1. “Patient Zero” Audible ~ Amazon (Entertaining)

2. “The Dragon Factory” Audible ~ Amazon (So good!)

3. “The King of Plagues” Audible ~ Amazon (Entertaining)

4. “Assassin’s Code” Audible ~ Amazon (So good!)

5. “Extinction Machine” Audible ~ Amazon (Entertaining)

3.5. “Joe Ledger: The Missing Files” Audible ~ Amazon (audio only) (Entertaining)

2 Comments

Filed under 2013 Book List, Audio books

“Metro Girl” by Janet Evanovich – narrated by C.J. Critt

When B and I went to West Virginia for Christmas in 2008, his sister-in-law gave me a huge box full of audio books on CD that she had from when she used to do a lot of commuting. I would reach into the “mystery box of books”, pop a CD in, hope it was the beginning of a book, and sit back on my couch. That’s pretty much how I spent my early blind days, the mystery box and audio books a friend would bring from the campus library at the school she taught for.

“Metro Girl” was one of the mystery books and I enjoyed it so much back then I listened to it again immediately after I finished it. I had read quite a few Janet Evanovich books before this one and while I liked it, I wished it had been narrated by Lorelei King like the Stephanie Plum series was.

“Metro Girl” is one of the few books I kept from that box and I had recently copied all my audio books on CD to my computer for easier listening. When I finished “The Cider House rules” last month and tried to read “David Copperfield”, I decided I needed something light and ‘Metro’ was on my iPod.

I enjoyed it again but oh man do I not like the narration haha. I’m surprised a few reviews at Audible spoke highly of it. The lead male is supposed to be this sexy Nascar driver but he sounds like a bumbling fool. I kept trying to picture Matthew McConaughey but it didn’t work.

This is just a cute book though, about a thirty year old woman who’s brother goes missing in Florida. She runs off from baltimore to try and find him and runs into the Nascar guy, who’s boat her brother seems to have disappeared in.

Janet Evanovich creates funny characters and puts them in some crazy situations. I didn’t know until I got the link to this book on Amazon that this book has turned into a series. Unfortunately the next book is narrated by the same woman so I don’t think I’ll be getting it. Maybe I’ll read it on the now accessible Kindle app on my iPhone.

Rating: Entertaining

“Metro Girl” at Audible ~ “Metro Girl” at Amazon

Leave a Comment

Filed under 2013 Book List, Audio books, family, iPhone, man o mine

“The Cider House Rules” by John Irving – narrated by Grover Gardner

I loved this book! I’m wishing I hadn’t gotten so behind on book posts because I tend to forget points I wanted to make when I write about them so much later and I finished this one on April third. This was one of the books that Audible had on sale at one point during a books into movies sale. I never saw the movie but downloaded the book back during the sale, mostly because it was narrated by Grover Gardner. If he narrates a book, chances are it’s going to be great unless it’s that one Robin Cook book I couldn’t finish.

Grover Gardner is just so good. I don’t know how to describe why I like his narrating so much. He’s simple, but each character sounds slightly different. He doesn’t sound like he’s overacting and he doesn’t sound bored. He’s just plain good! Would I have loved this book so much if he didn’t narrate it? Who knows.

This book follows the life of an orphan named Homer Wells, brought up in an orphanage during the early 1900′s. Expectant mothers would come to the orphanage to have one of two things, an orphan, or an abortion. Abortion has been and will always be a touchy subject. I found myself going back and forth in my own feelings and beliefs as I read this book.

Even though the subject matter was so serious, the underlying humor and Gardner’s delivery of it made me laugh out loud several times. Homer is such a lovable character and I still find myself thinking of him when I say, “right” during a conversation.

Will Homer Wells become a doctor like Wilbur Larch, the director of the orphanage? Will Homer stick to the decision he’s made that he isn’t ok with abortion?

Oh, thinking about this book makes me want to read it again. I was tempted to rent the movie but one of the reviews at Audible said the movie was terrible so I won’t bother. I tried reading “David Copperfield” after I finished ‘Cider’ because it was Homer’s favorite book and was referenced a lot, but I got a public domain copy and the narration was not good. I also decided the subject matter was too dark to follow ‘Cider’ so I gave up on it after three nights.

Oh! At the end of ‘Cider’, there’s some really good author’s notes. Apparently John Irving’s father was a doctor which was partly what inspired this book. I just love author’s notes! I highly recommend this book if you can stomach the subject matter.

Rating: Marriage Material.

“The Cider House Rules” at Audible ~ “The Cider House Rules” at Amazon

Leave a Comment

Filed under 2013 Book List, Audio books

Let the Updating Begin

Ro? Who’s that? Oh wait, is that the chick with the guide dog named Jayden? Yeah, I remember her. She kinda disappeared though, didn’t she?

Hola one reader I have left haha. My friends on Twitter know I’m alive but for those of you who read here and for future me, the posting has been sparse, I know. I haven’t been well most of this year so far. Even the book posts had become daunting, trying to think enough through brain fog. So as a result, I’m behind on book posts and general updating.

I had to have a colonoscopy last month because I kept having recurring episodes of diverticulitis even though I thought I was doing everything necessary to prevent it, avoiding nuts and seeds, exercising though that had become sporadic due to the pain of the diverticulitis blah blah blah.

After the attack in March my doc made me see a gastroenterologist and he wanted to do the colonoscopy to check me out. He said surgery might be an option so I was preparing for that possibility. He started me on daily fiber and probiotics to make sure everything wasn’t inflamed for the procedure and I instantly started feeling better.

The preparation for that procedure was horrible! I had to drink stuff the night before and couldn’t eat the whole day before, then I had to drink stuff the morning of and I won’t go into the gory details but I was most definitely emptied out.

B and Jayden came with me and the nurse said when B led Jayden away once I was on the gurney, Jayden kept looking back like, but, um, what?

I was a little nervous about the anesthesia but the nurse explained that it’s a very light drug, not a narcotic, you go under quick and come out quick. When the doc injected the IV, the nurse said I should be feeling sleepy. I said, “I’m not feeling sleepy at all.” Then I woke up. They made sure my vitals were good then went and got B and Jayden. Jayden was so happy to see me he put his front paws up on the gurney even though he knows that sort of behavior is forbidden haha! B said Jay slept in the lobby but when he woke up he kinda freaked out a little bit. One of the medical staff was telling B and me how terrified of dogs she was since she grew up in the Philippines and there are a lot of wild dogs there that chased her when she was a child. She actually pet Jayden and he licked her hand. She was telling all her coworkers, “did you see me pet the dog!?!” It was so cool!

I was so glad that thing was over and the doctor told me afterwards that he didn’t see the need for surgery, just keep on fiber and probiotics. Yay! Probiotics tip, get them on Amazon. Much cheaper! Oh and he said the nuts and seeds thing doesn’t hold true anymore. He said eat what I want, just stay on fiber and probiotics. Oh, almonds, oh, tomatoes, oh, happy!

So that hurdle was cleared just in time for the next one, a massive staff infection. I’m the luckiest girl in the world! Again, I’ll spare you the gory details but here’s a tip, if you get an eruption of painful boils on your arse, take that arse to the doc and fast. I ended up getting a shot of antibiotics in said arse, a culture sent to the lab, a nasal ointment to kill the staff that lives in the nose and a course of oral antibiotics. I grossed out the nurse practitioner and made my doc exclaim, “ouch!” when she came in and saw me. Fun! We were all a little nervous that it was the antibiotic resistant strain of staff but it wasn’t, thank God.

Antibiotic tip, always always always take the full course prescribed. Always. These bugs are getting resistant to antibiotics because people stop taking them when they feel better and they leave one little bug in their body that learns how to adapt to our medicines and then tells its friends. So please, always take your full course and don’t push your doctor to give you antibiotics for things like colds. It’s possible I have success with antibiotics because I only take them when absolutely necessary too. If you take them all the time, eventually they won’t work in your body. Also, if you get boils, be very very careful with the stuff that comes out of them. If it happens to be staff, it is highly contagious. I was grateful I used to work in medicine and knew how to care for contagions.

All this staff stuff went on a week before I was getting on a plane to go to Colorado to visit Chupa and go to a Rays game. That’ll be it’s own post or two coming soon with links to photos, audio and video. I wrote on Twitter last night that I’d write at least a post per day until I was caught up with book and trip posts. If it’s on the internet, it must be true. All the illness and then the trip took its toll on the MS and my body but I think I’m bouncing back, knock on wood.

Oh before I wrap this up, I want to give kudos to Jay and his terrific work when we went for the meet and greet with the gastro doc. We took paratransit for that one and the office was under construction so not only was it a brand new place that neither of us knew, there was walking between buildings and following medical staff. Jayden did excellent work as usual. I’ve thrown a lot at him the last few months and he’s done nothing but keep me safe and sane through it all. Good boy!

Edit: The staff had nothing to do with the colonoscopy. The boils started before that procedure.

Leave a Comment

Filed under Amazon, doc, Doggy Diaries, humor as coping skill, Jayden, man o mine, sicky sick, silly girl, spoons, twitter me this, working dog

This thousandth post was supposed to be special and it still is in a different way

Ok so I had all sorts of plans for The Roof’s thousandth post but ya know, life loves getting in the way of plans. There’s so much I could write, mostly boring health stuff, everything’s ok but it’s been a roller coaster. I could write about the autographed baseball I got in the mail…bah ha ha! But there’s no time to make that as special a post as it deserves. It was going to make an awesome thousandth post but then I got ill and too apple sauce brained so that will have to wait but oh is it cool!!!

So instead, for the thousandth post I decided to just write something really quickly today totally spur of the moment and it can’t be anything special because I have to pack. Yep pack! Jayden and I are getting on a jet plane tomorrow to go see Chupa in Colorado and hopefully go to a Rays game!!! That’s totally weather permitting because of course, the weather in Colorado has decided to take a turn just in time for me to get there and then it’s going to warm up after I leave. We will most likely be landing in snow tomorrow! Snow!

The weeks leading up to this were getting hairy with my health but everything is turning out ok knock on wood so Jayden and I are blowing this warm popsicle stand for a freezing one weeee! Adventure!

I might put up some posts while we’re away using the WordPress app on my phone but I’m not sure. Wish us luck that the weather holds for the game, ok? Thanks.

1 Comment

Filed under baseball, fellowship, Jayden

House Rules” by Jodi Picoult – narrated by Mark Turetsky, Nicole Poole, Andy Paris, Christopher Evan Welch and Rich Orlow

I think this book is only going to be appealing to those who are interested in and/or invested in the subject material. I rarely read any reviews of books before I download them. Lately I have been checking out reviews after I finish a book and I found myself nodding to even the negative reviews of this book even though I loved it. Reading the reviews I see why I loved it while many others let the negative aspects of the book win out.

“House Rules” is about Asperger’s Syndrome with fictional characters thrown in to make it a novel. A few years back I did a series of posts about Autism for Autism Awareness Month. I was riveted by “House Rules” because it was everything I had researched put into a fictional story. All the forensics was awesome, too.

Forensics? Oh yes, Jacob, the boy with Asperger’s, is obsessed with forensics and crime scenes, often popping up around town when he hears about crimes on his police scanner. I’ve always loved forensics too and I couldn’t help but see a lot of myself in Jacob. I remember talking with an online friend with Asperger’s back in the day and comparing instances of just being completely sensory overloaded, something I’ve come to experience since going blind. “House Rules” brought all those talks back to me and reminded me of all the things I researched. If you want to make yourself more aware about Autism, click the Autism link in my labels.

Has Jacob’s love of forensics led him to become a suspect in a murder? What would happen if a person with Asberger’s who, In Jacob’s case, has to eat brown food on Thursdays, ends up in jail? Does the ADA protect him? Should he be given special accommodations because of what he doesn’t see as a disability? Those were the themes in the book that had me transfixed.

I think Jodi Picoult spent so much energy researching Autism and criminal law that she ran out of steam for the ending. The whole book I was thinking marriage material but the ending just, well there’s no other word for it, sucked. It’s like Picoult just got sick of writing and tossed in a paragraph and called it the end. There was no mystery in the book, all of it being obvious from the beginning so I was expecting some bombshell ending but no. I had to get on the phone with Carol the next day and complain. And mourn.

I think this might be the first book I mourned. I fell in love with every single character, referring to them by name with Carol as though they were my friends, and the ending just ripped all that affection to shreds. I wrote in my last review that you can’t judge a book by its ending so technically “House Rules” should still get a marriage material rating even though the ending wasn’t an ending at all.

What would Jacob tell me to do? He would see everything literally. He would take emotion out of it. So, a story should have a beginning, a middle and an end to get the highest rating. This book did not have an end, therefore it cannot get the highest rating. What do you think, Jacob?

Rating: So good!

“House Rules” at Audible ~ “House Rules” at Amazon

Leave a Comment

Filed under 2013 Book List, Audio books, Autism

“Mission Flats” by William Landay – narrated by William Dufris

I have not been in the mood to write posts lately but I don’t want to get behind on books so I’m attempting to knock two book posts out today. I’ve been preparing to write this one for a few hours now haha!

“Mission Flatss” was William Landay’s first book. Are you thinking the name William Landay sounds familiar but you aren’t sure why? Well, he wrote that book “Defending Jacob” that I sorta loved a little bit last year. If you visit that post, you’ll notice a pinback from William Landay himself and also from my friend Amanda who recently finished the book. But, this post isn’t about that book.

I’m struggling with how to rate this book. Pretty much the entire time I listened I was thinking it would get an entertaining rating and then the ending knocked my socks off and I thought oh marriage material! However it’s not up there with “Defending Jacob”. It was good, for sure though.

A small town police chief in Versailles, Maine, finds the body of a district attorney from Boston. My screen reader pronounces Versailles incorrectly. It pronounces it correctly though. Um, what? If you read the book that will make sense.

Anyway, this small town police chief decides to follow the case to Boston where the chief suspect is a hard case from the rough neighborhood of Mission Flats. But did he do it just because he’s a hard case? The evidence points to him, but we all know innocent people are suspected all the time.

I won’t lie just because I love William Landay. This book had my mind wandering a lot for most of it. It also had me rolling my eyes with some of the scenarios that took place. The ending though? Holy crap! That just made up for all of it. It’s the perfect example of sticking with a book or movie just to see what happens at the end even though the beginning and middle are just so so.

I didn’t care for the narration at all. I thought the guy’s Boston accent was terrible. Granted I grew up in Arizona but still, I’m a baseball fan. What? Red Sox people, Boston is one of those darling teams, so you hear a lot of Bostonian accents even though the team probably doesn’t have any Bostonians on it. Wow am I going off the rails in this post haha! This is what happens when I’m in a perpetual brain fog for weeks on end.

Ok my gut just told me to give this book an entertaining rating. The ending was marriage material but you can’t judge a book by its ending. I’m glad I read it and I also plan to read Landay’s middle book soon as well.

Rating: Entertaining

“Mission Flats” at Audible ~ “Mission Flats” at Amazon

Leave a Comment

Filed under 2013 Book List, Audio books

From the Desk of My Somewhat Sleep Deprived Mind

I’m going to make a sleep deprived label I’ve decided. Yep, it’s that time again so I went and did a search for my sleep deprived posts and they’re getting up there. Best to have a label, yeah? It’s currently 6:04am as I begin this post. I’ve been up for awhile and I should have seen this coming. The other morning I realized I was awake and after some time, finally checked the time. Time. Let’s write it again. Time. It was 2:30. Whoa baby! How bout no? I lay there thinking I needed to put the meditation bells on. I have this app called AmbiSci 300 and it’s got all sorts of ambient sounds. The meditation bells are perfect for lulling me back to sleep. I just stick my phone under my pillow. It takes some time but it works.

That time I fought to get back to sleep because I was fighting an infection and knew I needed my rest. This time, damn that was only a few days ago I think, I just gave up. Did that make sense? No. But do these posts ever make sense? I decided when I checked the time and it was 4am, that that was late enough to just get up and make coffee since it was pretty obvious it was time for another sleep deprived day. I usually sleep really well though I had to laugh when I read the last sleep deprived post that my doctor had asked how I was sleeping and I told her fine only to not sleep that night.

Speaking of the doctor, I love her but I’m seeing her too much lately. Did I see her last Monday? I think so yeah. I told her it was much nicer to run into her at Joe’s Crab Shack than to be constantly seeing her at the office. I’m just falling apart, ya’ll!

I have a meet and greet with my new gastro doc in April. Yep, a gastro doc. I get to have a hose in me bum. What? A colonoscopy. Weeeeeee! I had more diverticulitis even though I’m doing absolutely everything I’m supposed to in order to prevent it. Nothing with seeds. No nuts. No tomatoes unless diced. I’m even avoiding lettuce after reading that it’s difficult to digest. I take a fiber supplement. I exercise regularly. Still I got the pain. That’s just not normal, doc says. I was expecting her to say I had to have the bum hose when I got that last attack. Now It’s just the damn waiting. Hurry up and wait. It’s not even like there’s probably anything that can be done anyway. They’ll just go in and make sure nothing more serious is going on and then that’s it. Maybe I’m being too cynical but at this point in my life, after living sick for so many years I’m just like whatever dude, throw more at me. Might as well. My life is already incredibly limited and messed up, why not give me more? Bring it! Hey, maybe I’m given all the stuff that others wouldn’t be able to handle so they don’t have to handle it. Not that I believe that any of us are given anything on purpose, but sometimes it’s nice when I’m giving myself a pep talk out of depression to think that maybe I’m preventing someone else from going through what I go through even though I know that’s not true. It’s not like I went blind so you wouldn’t have to and it’s not like I have MS so you don’t have to and it’s not like I have to get a bum hose so you don’t have to because guess what? Even if you’re the healthiest person alive, you’ll still have to get a bum hose one day if you stay on top of your screenings bwah ha ha ha!

My cat, Timmy, is snoring on the couch next to me and Jayden is on the floor at my feet which is odd because usually he’s on the couch with me. All the animals are like, what are you doing up? And Jayden is probably like, when the coffee is on, I’m usually not hungry and my bladder is usually relieved so wtf? Yes, my dog thinks wtf ok?

So if the narrator you’ve always thought should narrate your memoir says you should write your memoir when you tell her that you want her to narrate it but then you’d have to write it, you have to write it, right? I also got to thinking, now that my blog is hosted, if I die, it’ll go away. That’s a terrible thought. If I die, will someone figure out where I’m hosted and pay it? Hahaha! So then I thought back to Lorelei King tweeting me to “do it, baby!” and I was like, well at least that would be a legacy but then who am I to leave a legacy? I’m no one. If I wrote my memoir, would you read it? People have told me from the beginning of my blindness that I needed to write my story. However what voice has stuck with me? The negative one. I need to shut that voice up. Maybe if I wrote a memoir I could be somewhat self supporting because damn, relying on something other than myself for income really sucks. Then again, authors are going broke since people only want to pay ninety-nine cents for a book on their stupid electronic devices so really, can anyone make money selling books anymore unless they’re Stephen King?

Alrighty then I think that’s about all I have. I think I’ll publish this thing and then go add a sleep deprivation label of some sort. It’s 6:25am, do you know where your teeth are?

Leave a Comment

Filed under coffeeholic, doc, humor as coping skill, I might be a writer, Jayden, plugs, rambles, random stuff, sicky sick, Sleep Deprived Fun, spoons, Timmy